Why?

[Leanna]

It was hard because my son's paternal grandmother is a nurse and was all about "breastfeeding is so bonding" and I felt very insecure about the whole thing and tried to hide it. I really did try to breastfeed but after the experience I had through the first three days of my son's life, it is likely that after my next child I will choose not to breastfeed. I feel what is best for my son and future children is to have a mother who does not breakdown feeling like a total loss with 5 hours of sleep over 4 days. I don't want to be that mother bawling in the emergency room with the dehydrated newborn who won't breastfeed despite having had help from more than 15 nurses. They couldn't get him to nurse either. What is best for my children is to have a happy confident mother, and I feel confident that I made the right decision and I probably will bottlefeed my future children also. I have learned to appreciate the many advantages. My son has only been sick once, and formula has improved greatly in these present days.

 

[andiesmama]

Sorry, but I guess I'm going to come off as judging again. And, you're right I can't know the whole story, noone ever can. But was the only reason you chose to formula feed because your baby had low birth weight and you needed to track how much she was eating? Was she premature? Tracking how much breastmilk a baby is eating is very simple. Weigh them before and after they feed and you'll be able to tell how many ounces they've eaten.

Yes she was premature, she was very tiny, she didn't latch right, and why am I trying to defend myself??....I think that's a mute point since it's 3 years after the fact.

If you didn't think the benefits of breastfeeding were worth it compared whatever the alternative was for you that was a compromise you had to make. We all have to make them.

I'm taking offense at the term "worth it"...like I threw my daughter's welfare out the window or something, like I made a decision lightly. See? I think that's what the OP was talking about...being judged in a negative light based on the decisions we make.

I KNEW I never should have posted in this thread....

 

[jazzbird]

It was hard because my son's paternal grandmother is a nurse and was all about "breastfeeding is so bonding" and I felt very insecure about the whole thing and tried to hide it. I really did try to breastfeed but after the experience I had through the first three days of my son's life, it is likely that after my next child I will choose not to breastfeed.

It is a shame that moms who are doing the best they can are made to feel isecure and ashamed. I'm sorry you have felt that way.

I probably will bottlefeed my future children also. I have learned to appreciate the many advantages. My son has only been sick once, and formula has improved greatly in these present days.

Is there a reason that you are thinking at this point that you will probably not try breastfeeding again? You shouldn't get discouraged about it. Your next one may take to it fine.

 

[Leanna]

Jazzbird, I think it is something I will not know until I am pregnant and have all of those extra loopy hormones. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. Who can know? For now, I am mashing cooked formerly frozen peas and picking all of the shells off of them before letting my son eat them. (my baby sister had an experience with one of those pea shells when she was a baby and she still refuses to eat peas to this day and shes 13.) I am still an overprotective and loving mom.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

Yes she was premature, she was very tiny, she didn't latch right, and why am I trying to defend myself??....I think that's a mute point since it's 3 years after the fact.

I'm taking offense at the term "worth it"...like I threw my daughter's welfare out the window or something, like I made a decision lightly. See? I think that's what the OP was talking about...being judged in a negative light based on the decisions we make.

I KNEW I never should have posted in this thread....

I just asked because mothers who deliver premature babies produce special preterm milk. And yes, premature babies do have a harder time learning to latch. I don't know why you feel like you need to defend yourself. I'm just asking questions about your experience and trying to get a better understanding.


I don't see why you would take offense at "worth it" - we all have to balance the pros and cons of everything in life. I never said you made the decision lightly. Bottlefeeding women are not the only ones that get judged. I got judged all the time for breastfeeding my daughter. I got stares and comments. Where I live breastfeeding is a rarity and if people figured out what I was doing they would look at me like I had two heads or something.

If you are fine with the decision you made I don't see why you would have a problem discussing it.

 

[andiesmama]

If you are fine with the decision you made I don't see why you would have a problem discussing it.

I'm totally fine with my decision but I can't help but feel like for some reason I've been singled out to defend myself...

 

[EmSchmem]

I just asked because mothers who deliver premature babies produce special preterm milk. And yes, premature babies do have a harder time learning to latch. I don't know why you feel like you need to defend yourself. I'm just asking questions about your experience and trying to get a better understanding.


I don't see why you would take offense at "worth it" - we all have to balance the pros and cons of everything in life. I never said you made the decision lightly. Bottlefeeding women are not the only ones that get judged. I got judged all the time for breastfeeding my daughter. I got stares and comments. Where I live breastfeeding is a rarity and if people figured out what I was doing they would look at me like I had two heads or something.

If you are fine with the decision you made I don't see why you would have a problem discussing it.

If she is offended it obviously touched a core. Discussing it is one thing having to defend a decision is another. Good for you. you breastfeed. Good for all the moms here who don't. They made choices for their own babies.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

I really did try to breastfeed but after the experience I had through the first three days of my son's life, it is likely that after my next child I will choose not to breastfeed.

What happened in the first three days of your son's life? A mother's milk doesn't come in for a few days after the baby is born. I think mine didn't come in until the third or fourth day so you really hadn't even got started breastfeeding.

Each baby and each breastfeeding experience is different. Having breastfeeding difficulties with your first child does not mean you will have problems with the next and vice versa. So don't write it off just yet .

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

I'm totally fine with my decision but I can't help but feel like for some reason I've been singled out to defend myself...

Sorry, I'm not trying to single out. You were just the one giving more information out so I was just asking questions .

 

[EmSchmem]

Oh goodness. This is not a moral issue and no mom is an awful mom for not breastfeeding regardless of reason. No one has to justify her actions. Not breastfeeding isn't going to kill a kid. No one is scarred b/c they weren't breastfed. Moms may still not bond with their baby even if they do breastfeed. Some people breastfeed, some don't. Jeez should I even approach the topic of cloth diapers

 

[andiesmama]

Jeez should I even approach the topic of cloth diapers

If you do I ain't gonna touch that topic with a 10 foot pole!!

 

[jazzbird]

Oh goodness. This is not a moral issue and no mom is an awful mom for not breastfeeding regardless of reason. No one has to justify her actions. Not breastfeeding isn't going to kill a kid. No one is scarred b/c they weren't breastfed. Moms may still not bond with their baby even if they do breastfeed. Some people breastfeed, some don't. Jeez should I even approach the topic of cloth diapers

Heehee...I'm all for cloth diapers...let's go!

The fact is that the benefits of breastfeeding go way beyond just bonding with your child, although those hormones that are released during feeding are important. But, I don't think this is the place to have a discussion about this. I don't think that is what Bobbi wanted.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

no that isn't what I wanted.

 

[Katydid]

To the OP, as a parent we have to get used to people judging our actions regardless of what action we take. If we CIO, co-sleep, attachment parenting, ezzo method, cloth diaper, disposable diaper, hey, even something as little as TV or no TV. There are people on both (actually the numerous sides) sides of every issue. Being a parent is doing what you feel is right for your children, and your family. Regardless of what anyone else believes. You know even as a stay at home mom, you find those people who will tell you that you are neglecting your children. Basically, the point is, on any number of issues (probably most decisions you make) there will be those that oppose it. Just know that you are doing what you feel God is leading you to do, to be the best mommy for that baby. As long as you are doing that, then don't worry about looks or comments by others. Take what they have to say, learn from it, whether you learn that it is something you want to do, or something you never want to do, or something you want to research. My point is, being confident in our own decisions, and knowing that this is what God wants you to do, IS the best thing for your baby. Like I said in my post, I was so sure that breastfeeding is the only way, that God knocked me off of my pedestal and made me see what it was like on the other side. God will put you where you need to be. Just trust him, and trust your motherly instincts.

 

[andiesmama]

To the OP, as a parent we have to get used to people judging our actions regardless of what action we take. If we CIO, co-sleep, attachment parenting, ezzo method, cloth diaper, disposable diaper, hey, even something as little as TV or no TV. There are people on both (actually the numerous sides) sides of every issue. Being a parent is doing what you feel is right for your children, and your family. Regardless of what anyone else believes. You know even as a stay at home mom, you find those people who will tell you that you are neglecting your children. Basically, the point is, on any number of issues (probably most decisions you make) there will be those that oppose it. Just know that you are doing what you feel God is leading you to do, to be the best mommy for that baby. As long as you are doing that, then don't worry about looks or comments by others. Take what they have to say, learn from it, whether you learn that it is something you want to do, or something you never want to do, or something you want to research. My point is, being confident in our own decisions, and knowing that this is what God wants you to do, IS the best thing for your baby. Like I said in my post, I was so sure that breastfeeding is the only way, that God knocked me off of my pedestal and made me see what it was like on the other side. God will put you where you need to be. Just trust him, and trust your motherly instincts.

ummmm.....what she said!! I apologize if I made your thread go off topic...

Katy said it better than I ever could have! (I bolded the part that I think is the most awesome point)

 

[PegasusOnFire]

I really don't think it has hurt her any, seeing as she rolled over at two weeks, several times. the doctor said that she was a bit advaced if she was doing that already,

 

[EmSchmem]

If you do I ain't gonna touch that topic with a 10 foot pole!!

Anyone who doesn't cloth diaper hates the environment, doesn't care what happens to thier baby's butt, and is a wasteful mean mean lady. LOL I have actually HEARD this and I am cloth diapering!

 

[andiesmama]

I really don't think it has hurt her any, seeing as she rolled over at two weeks, several times. the doctor said that she was a bit advaced if she was doing that already,

That's awesome, she's rolling over already!! Watch...she's gonna start doing something different every day now!

Also, your pediatrician would tell you if it was harming her in any way...no worries, sweetie!

 

[andiesmama]

Anyone who doesn't cloth diaper hates the environment, doesn't care what happens to thier baby's butt, and is a wasteful mean mean lady.

You know, that sounds like me to a "T"!!! (especially the mean mean lady part!)lol (I went disposable all the way!!)

 

[Katydid]

not trying to get crazy or anything, but my daughter was the same way. Just a question and nothing to worry about, it's not serious. Does she arch her back when you pick her up? As in, does she rest on you, or does she tense up? Are her arms fairly floppy, or are they stiff? The reason I ask is because my daughter was what they call "high tone" and it was suggested that I do stretches with her to loosen her up. It worked, and the stretches were simple. Like I said, it isn't anything to worry about, but I was curious. Her doctor didn't even think twice about that, it was a physical therapist that was coming to work with my son that noticed.