Why Do I Do This?

[ChasingADream]

Hey,

Does anyone else out there get hurt ALL the time with relationships? I know it's my fault because I "wear my heart on my sleeve"...as I've been told many times. Is that a bad thing? I tend to trust people from the start until they do something that makes me not trust them, instead of the other way around. Everyone tells me that I need to be more cautious about that but isn't it good to have faith in people?

 

[mina]

Well I get hurt in friendships and relationships and I don't trust anyone. I enter in cautiously and someone earns my trust and then they end up betraying that. And I once again end up feeling that I can't trust anyone. It's hard. I know people will always let you down, but it would be nice to be able to trust one person, bleh

 

[Irascible]

Everyone tells me that I need to be more cautious about that but isn't it good to have faith in people?

Faith is the confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person. Since all of mankind has inherently wicked flesh, I dare say that it is a bad thing to trust and/or have faith in a person from the start. Guarding one's heart is a clear Biblical mandate.

That doesn't mean you don't eventually put a measure of faith and trust in a person. But it does mean that you do so knowing that it is an inevitability that that person will eventually fail you. It's not the failure that's the big surprise. Nor is it the measure by which you ultimately decide their worthiness as a friend. It's their reaction that counts most. If they repent and make amends then count yourself blessed. If they are not repentant then they were never a friend to begin with.

 

[biffy]

Please don't ever change who you are for anyone except God....I wear my heart on my sleeve...i'm very open and make myself extremely vulnerable to others and i am very sensitive so yes i have been hurt so badly so many times but a dear friend gave me such a beautiful gift recently so i'm going to give it to you...she took me to see the new film Narnia (lion, witch and the wardrobe) after she said to me...

"i really wanted you to see this movie because you remind me so much of the littlest girl Lucy...she is so so gentle, curious, wears everything on her sleeve but did you notice how courageous she was?"

I've been too scared for so long just to be myself by being couragious and "valiant" about it...Please don't change who you are...God has given you such a percious gift honour Him and grow with it!!! Please please don't hate it...you will only end up hurting yourself I'll pray for you...God bless!!!!

 

[Jenster]

The Bible tells us to be innocent as doves but wise as serpents.

When it comes to relationships, it's a good quality to be able to trust, but do so bit by bit, as you find the person to be trustworthy. That doesn't mean be wildly suspicious of them, but keep an open mind that their motives could be good or bad. You can be friendly upfront, but that doesn't mean giving your heart away quickly.

By keeping some "trust" in reserve, you are basically protecting yourself -- an appropriately so. While it would be nice to think the other person may not hurt you, you don't know that for a fact at the beginning and is it YOUR responsibility to protect yourself. I know - I learned the hard way.

The best way I think of it is that trust isn't an on/off switch. It's more like a dimmer switch - gradual.

 

[Irascible]

The best way I think of it is that trust isn't an on/off switch. It's more like a dimmer switch - gradual.

 

[Evie1980]

I used to be like that but now I am a little harder and it is not actually a good thing .

Everyone is different and at the end of the day you have to be who God made you to be. Yes it is important to protect ourselves but we have a greater protector - God. God will never place you in a situation that you cannot handle nor will He leave us without hope and faith for the future. He is with you in all your times of need and it is through His love taht we are able to have the strength to love and trust others.

It is hard to see friendships fail but then again sometimes we just have to enjoy what we have when we have it. Friendhip is one of the greatest gifts God has given us so don't give up on it. God will always pick us up when we fall and carry us when we can no longer stand. Trust Him and let Him guide you in all areas of your life including your friendships and above all pray for all people in your life both friends and enemies that they will grow in their love for the Lord.

 

[ChasingADream]

I'm so glad I asked you all for advice. I read all your posts and I want to thank you all for sharing.