Why do guys invite girls over to their home???

[yam]

As a Christian, what is your opinion on a newly dating couple spending time alone dinner , movies at their boyfriend house ? Should a Christian guy/girl spent time alone with the opposite sex ?

 

[Sammy-San]

Post edited.

 

[blackribbon]

Depends on your ability to control the situation. Spending time at someone's house is a lot cheaper than always eating out or going out. It also is time to get to know someone because your house is an extension of yourself. If being alone causes a bad temptation situation (and it can), then it isn't well advised. A compromise is to have another couple friends over and your date leaves when they do.

Yes, there is a difference when they come over at night because people are tired and it can lead to one staying over just because they are too tired to drive. When we are tired and sexual attracted, it can lead to decisions that compromise what we believe because it "feels right" at the time.

I think age makes a difference...but only to a small extent. Us older people can be just as tempted.

 

[Waddler]

As a Christian, what is your opinion on a newly dating couple spending time alone dinner , movies at their boyfriend house ? Should a Christian guy/girl spent time alone with the opposite sex ?

Part of being mature enough to have a relationship is being mature enough to exercise self-control. A couple should know themselves well enough to know what boundaries should be in place. I personally wouldn't invite my girlfriend back to my apartment, nor would I spend time alone with her in her home until we were both agreed as to our boundaries. Once we did agree, then we could relax, knowing there's a line we won't cross.

I don't think it's inappropriate for a couple to spend time alone together, and it's none of my business if they do. As for me, once we're clear on the boundaries, she can spend all the time we deem appropriate under my roof. If anyone confronts us about it, I'll kindly explain it's none of their business. As long as she and I know our boundaries and haven't crossed them, I don't see a problem with it.

 

[-Luca]

Part of being mature enough to have a relationship is being mature enough to exercise self-control. A couple should know themselves well enough to know what boundaries should be in place. I personally wouldn't invite my girlfriend back to my apartment, nor would I spend time alone with her in her home until we were both agreed as to our boundaries. Once we did agree, then we could relax, knowing there's a line we won't cross.

I don't think it's inappropriate for a couple to spend time alone together, and it's none of my business if they do. As for me, once we're clear on the boundaries, she can spend all the time we deem appropriate under my roof. If anyone confronts us about it, I'll kindly explain it's none of their business. As long as she and I know our boundaries and haven't crossed them, I don't see a problem with it.

What other examples are there of self-control in a relationship?

 

[Waddler]

What other examples are there of self-control in a relationship?

Self-control is important in any conflict as well. For married couples, financial self-control is vital. They should also exercise self-control over their desires to change one another.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

while it's not a sin to be alone with a woman, one needs to be careful in not putting themselves in compromising situations where they are vulnerable.

take caution, all slippery slopes end at the bottom.

 

[blackribbon]

What other examples are there of self-control in a relationship?

Self-control in that you can put the needs/wants of your partner or the needs/wants as a couple over your own needs/wants. This can include financial, time, emotional, etc....

 

[Adstar]

As a Christian, what is your opinion on a newly dating couple spending time alone dinner , movies at their boyfriend house ? Should a Christian guy/girl spent time alone with the opposite sex ?

No they should not be doing that.. Temptation happens to us all and geting yourself into a situation as you describe is playing with fire..

 

[Sammy-San]

No they should not be doing that.. Temptation happens to us all and geting yourself into a situation as you describe is playing with fire..

what makes nighttime (like sleeping) different from the daytime? People don't view falling asleep during the same room during the day the same way.

 

[CodyFaith]

Like others have said, as-long as both parties can exercise self-control then it's fine in my personal opinion to go to each other's places. Not improper.

As for alone time - alone time is absolutely necessary when dating.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

As a Christian, what is your opinion on a newly dating couple spending time alone dinner , movies at their boyfriend house ? Should a Christian guy/girl spent time alone with the opposite sex ?

Sadly, my deeply Baptist background and upbringing still tends to shape my way of thinking on these kind of issues, so my first instinct is to say that avoiding altogether such a situation, as stated in the OP, would be best. No exceptions.

However. This kind of thing isn't so black and white. I think one's actions on this issue depends a great deal on your own ability to exercise proper self-control, and age does factor in as well. If we're talking teenagers, that might not be the best idea (not intended to be a slam against teens, but let's not kid ourselves). Two people, say my own age (late twenties) or older is usually a bit different. It does boil down to maturity and a healthy respect for the other person's physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, including your own. Maybe give it a few weeks before spending alone time with your SO to ensure you know them well enough to do so.

 

[blackribbon]

I won't let them in my house for more than a few weeks. That has nothing to do with inability to control myself. I would worry a bit about going to his house very soon into the relationship for the same reason...safety issue. I also don't consider that I am "dating" someone until we have gone out for like a month at least. Before that, we are getting to know each other. He doesn't need to know my household habits or get friendly with my dog before that.

 

[CCHIPSS]

Everyone think they have self control, until the small touches starts. And then it escalates.

But avoiding 1 on 1 situations isn't the solution neither. I mean even you two driving alone at night can lead the sin, if you two let it.

All I can say is that you first must decide your own boundaries and you must stick to it. Vow to God that you won't cross that boundary. And that boundary should be many levels before anything that can resemble sexual immorality.

I think kissing is ok. But that is just me.

After you set you own boundaries, talk to her and see what her boundaries are. But your own boundaries are firm.

 

[Waddler]

My apartment, such at it is, is very personal to me. I don't even want my family members here, because they have a tendency to criticize. If I invite a woman to my place, it's because we're exclusive in our relationship. It's a way of saying, "I feel comfortable with you. I trust you."

But suppose her car breaks down. Suppose we're in a situation where circumstances force her to spend the night. It's not a sin for her to do so, and if I've invited her into my home, it means I trust her to have wisdom in such a scenario, and I trust myself as well. I keep an extra toothbrush, pillow, linens, etc., and would give her the choice of sleeping on my bed or my couch. Whichever she picks, I'll sleep in the other.

That's the kind of self-control I believe is necessary, to be able to sleep one room away from your significant other without being tempted to sin. Make no mistake, if I'm exclusive with a woman, it's partly because I'd like to have sex with her. It's partly because I find her attractive. But there is a difference between "want to" and "would."

Having the maturity for a relationship is knowing there are lines you want to cross, and knowing you would not cross them.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

To tear it up on SNES Mario Kart and finally beat Contra 3: The Alien Wars. Why else? Any all and all are welcome. PM for details.

 

[yam]

Sadly, my deeply Baptist background and upbringing still tends to shape my way of thinking on these kind of issues, so my first instinct is to say that avoiding altogether such a situation, as stated in the OP, would be best. No exceptions.

However. This kind of thing isn't so black and white. I think one's actions on this issue depends a great deal on your own ability to exercise proper self-control, and age does factor in as well. If we're talking teenagers, that might not be the best idea (not intended to be a slam against teens, but let's not kid ourselves). Two people, say my own age (late twenties) or older is usually a bit different. It does boil down to maturity and a healthy respect for the other person's physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, including your own. Maybe give it a few weeks before spending alone time with your SO to ensure you know them well enough to do so.

I am Baptist too and this was my thinking too in the issue. It is interesting to hear everyone perspective. Self control is very important.

 

[Adstar]

what makes nighttime (like sleeping) different from the daytime? People don't view falling asleep during the same room during the day the same way.

I never made any comment about day time or night time.. Somebody else may have but not me..

 

[Sammy-San]

I never made any comment about day time or night time.. Somebody else may have but not me..

like sleeping over being inappropriate, and that word implies night.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Why would a fox invite a chicken to dinner ?