What's on your mind?

[SarahsKnight]

Sir Dreyma, I don't really know if this fits your particular struggle that you've recently spoken on here, but, perhaps this can help with a little perspective

Forgive me - *ahem* - I meant to adress: Miss @Dreyma .

 

[SarahsKnight]

What a pity. Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa, known best to me and probably anyone else around my age as the best version of Shang Tsung from Mortal Kombat EVER, died yesterday at 75 years old.

RIP, sir. *salutes*

 

[DragonFox91]

There's nothing wrong with taking some time to relax (especially on a holiday!), but I almost never want to be productive. Our culture might call this "a struggle with procrastination" or "a symptom of depression," but in my case, I'm 99% sure the problem is just plain ol' sloth.

Sloth isn't the only sin causing me to doubt my salvation, though. Holistically, I do not live a life surrendered to God. By letting my desires dictate my choices, I've become my own lord and idol. It's me, not Jesus, enthroned on my heart.


I knew about his wives, but I didn't know about the pagan temples. That's interesting, thanks for sharing.

I wonder why God still considered him righteous. He certainly condemned other kings for doing the same. It's beyond my comprehension... I wish I could know how God sees me. Does he see me as a "Solomon," beloved and righteous in spite of my sin? Or does he regard me similarly to the evil kings who came after Solomon? I think those questions will remain unanswered until judgment day, barring some miracle.

I believe him considering Solomon righteous has to do with his promises to David Solomon’s father & Solomon himself. He has those same promises to those in Christ

 

[DragonFox91]

Man I feel pretty guilty past couple days. I wish I could say I got corrupted by the world & my experiences, but a lot of it was me myself, my own heart

 

[Dreyma]

Sir Dreyma, I don't really know if this fits your particular struggle that you've recently spoken on here, but, perhaps this can help with a little perspective
It's the beginning of an article I found concerning scrupulosity, Does God Love Me? Why We Doubt His Love - Scrupulosity.com
->

Recently, a friend sent me the book, “He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father’s Affection.” In the first chapter, author Wayne Jacobsen compares our relationship to the Father’s love to a child pulling petals off a daisy.

“He loves me, He loves me not. He loves me, He loves me not.”

Circumstances and emotions dictate how we feel about God’s love towards us, and it turns our Christian experience into an ever-changing round of petal-pulling. He describes the chaotic ups and downs of our perception of God’s love:

In this sense, the Father’s love is subject to my own perception of it.

Thank you for taking the time to share this. I appreciate it.

I think my struggle is a bit different than the one expressed here. My salvation doubts don't stem from external circumstances or emotions but my lack of good fruit (John 15:5-8; Matthew 3:7-10; Matthew 13:22; Galatians 5:22-24) and my failure to repent of certain sins (Romans 2:4-6; 2 Corinthians 7:8-10).

 

[SarahsKnight]

Thank you for taking the time to share this. I appreciate it.

I think my struggle is a bit different than the one expressed here. My salvation doubts don't stem from external circumstances or emotions but my lack of good fruit (John 15:5-8; Matthew 3:7-10; Matthew 13:22; Galatians 5:22-24) and my failure to repent of certain sins (Romans 2:4-6; 2 Corinthians 7:8-10).

Then, may I offer this Scripture verse instead, as upon reading your response i immediately thought of it. John 19:30 ->
So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.

I like to think that when Jesus breathed His last (well, for three days anyway, until His resurrection ), this meant that God's wrath against sin and wickedness was completed. And remember, in one of the very passages you mentioned to back up your need for repentance over certain sins, it says that it is God's "goodness" (as quoted from the version you used, whereas I have seen it written as "lovingkindness" in other versions) that leads folk to repentance. Thus, the fear of hell/Gehenna/second death that you exhibited a few days ago in this thread does not appear to be a helpful factor in leading you into repenting over the problems and sins that you may be struggling with (regardless of whether you take the traditional view that Gehenna means eternal conscious torment, a literal second death/destruction as my group believes, or a corrective punishment as the universalists seem to believe), but rather, that God loves you and wants to lead you away gently from darkness as the Good Shepherd.
Now, I do not mean to say all this in presumption that I understand your personal struggle right now, as you and especially God would know that far better than I do; I only wish to offer you solace and gentle help via Scripture in any way that I can, as I believe that it is the good and godly thing to do in situations like this. That's all.

 

[DragonFox91]

Awake my soul & siiiiiiiing of him who died for theeeeeeeee

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Happy birthday to @Dreyma!! I hope you have a wonderful day! Any special plans?

 

[DragonFox91]

We are working so many hours at work. I like it. The Bible says you are supposed to be working. (God is always working, he never stops. When I was younger, I thought that just meant like he's keeping the world going, but it's much deeper then that)
& when I don't like these hours, I think back to a long time ago I wanted a job so much & not having one made me really sad.

I am struggling wanting to be married a bit right now too. Last night I was watching a video about declining marriage / birth rates in Japan. My opinion is it's not b/c people don't want to be married. I wonder what really changed tho? Also sometimes they paint it as a 'crisis' too. My opinion is the Bible says it's not based on getting married.

 

[DragonFox91]

"For he was numbered w/ the transgressors"

 

[.Mikha'el.]

We are working so many hours at work. I like it. The Bible says you are supposed to be working. (God is always working, he never stops. When I was younger, I thought that just meant like he's keeping the world going, but it's much deeper then that)
& when I don't like these hours, I think back to a long time ago I wanted a job so much & not having one made me really sad.

I am struggling wanting to be married a bit right now too. Last night I was watching a video about declining marriage / birth rates in Japan. My opinion is it's not b/c people don't want to be married. I wonder what really changed tho? Also sometimes they paint it as a 'crisis' too. My opinion is the Bible says it's not based on getting married.

It's not always easy to be single. I think all unattached people go through periods of real struggle with loneliness. It almost destroyed me in my 20s. I must have driven the rest of the Singles forum crazy with my whining about it, lol.

 

[DragonFox91]

It's not always easy to be single. I think all unattached people go through periods of real struggle with loneliness. It almost destroyed me in my 20s. I must have driven the rest of the Singles forum crazy with my whining about it, lol.

Me too. You used to whine about it too? I never would’ve guessed. I am trying not to anymore tho I want to

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Me too. You used to whine about it too? I never would’ve guessed. I am trying not to anymore tho I want to

There are other sources of unhappiness beyond being single that gnaw at me more these days. If you have the rest of your life in a good place, then being frustrated as single would really weigh one down because it's the biggest void.

 

[bèlla]

Me too. You used to whine about it too? I never would’ve guessed. I am trying not to anymore tho I want to

Why? How does that bring you closer to its fulfillment? You have to look beyond release and consider the price. Stirring the pot won’t bring her to you and you’re miserable afterwards. With continued engagement you’ll attrack the same to yourself spiritually. That’s why many are depressed and end up consuming negative content that affirms their feelings. Which places them in echo chambers with others in a similar place.

I had two experiences recently that echo this point. I saw a video with an odd title that I decided to watch. The man asserted that holidays were humiliation rituals. I was so taken aback that I continued to listen. He didn’t believe he had anything to live for and attributed his misery to his singleness and broken family. The invites he received from others were cast aside. There was a term he used for its occurrence I don’t recall. But he couldn’t enjoy himself because a relationship was his orbit.

I’ve come to realize that’s the other side of over emphasis in other areas. Trad wives, stay at home moms, and milling grains for flour and sourdough are recent examples. The bulk of their self-worth are tied to these things but it isn’t real. While the other emphasizes lack they promote the opposite. A supposed togetherness that falls apart when they address their lives privately and the truth comes out.

You can’t build your life on things, people or ideals. None of it is stable and you’ll discover that eventually. You’ve invested a lot of energy on a mysterious woman you’ve never met who hasn’t proven herself as a woman of God, wife or mother. Yet you’re grieving. You have nothing to attach to your emotions beyond the ideal you thought you’d have. Yet it consumes you and you’re mourning a ghost that doesn’t exist.

You created a thread to feed that. It wasn’t designed to challenge your thoughts or move you beyond them. And you knew that to be so because you did it elsewhere. There’s a time for milk and a period when we’ve outgrown it and require greater sustenance. I did the same long ago and chose music as the outlet. I was tired of hearing my friends complain about their experiences with men and repeating their mistakes. I encouraged them to funnel their frustrations and hurt through a different medium. Instead of bemoaning their circumstances the music spoke on their behalf and the results were remarkable.

The lyrics were convicting and a timestamp of sorts. They revisited them often and made better decisions in the long run. I had a similar experience and chastened myself when I replicated things that weren’t beneficial. But after a while it wasn’t necessary to do that. The lessons were ingrained and I looked before I leapt. It was a coping mechanism for a season when we needed to heal. But I stopped putting myself in situations where that was required. Nor were relationships the whole of our posts. There were happy moments too.

But you‘ve chosen an outlet with no end in sight. There’s a lot of ways you could use your voice to bless others in similar positions but you’d rather whine instead. I wasn’t a christian when I created the thread and nor were my friends. But you are and it should be undertaken with Him in mind. How is He glorified in your apathy? There’s millions on the internet doing the same. Why don’t you try a different approach instead?

And you’re not the only one and you know that. My ex is single and he’ll be 36 next month. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s looking at 40. I advised my daughter to wait. This isn’t the right climate to find a spouse. There’s too much negativity and suspicion. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible but ignoring the other is unwise.

Believe it or not I don’t think about men and rarely discuss them beyond this space nor does my daughter. We don’t worry if we’ll meet the one or be alone forever. It isn’t a concern. Life is full of twists and turns and things don’t always go as planned or as we expect. After a while you adapt and stop basing your happiness on the clock and allowing uncertainty to rattle you.

Spend less time wanting to be married and emphasizing quality in its place. The deeper your relationship with the Father the clearer you’ll become on the subject. Which doesn’t mean a solution overnight. But oftentimes He’ll nudge you in a direction you never considered or were unwilling to go (like yours truly). ;-)

You have been told also that life is darkness, and in your weariness you echo what was said by the weary.

And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge,
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,
And all work is empty save when there is love;
And when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself, and to one another, and to God.

And what is it to work with love?

It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit,
And to know that all the blessed dead are standing about you and watching.

All things work together for good. We have no jurisdiction over the time, circumstances or challenges that ensue. But trust the Lord’s process above human intellect and murmurings for the greater results He has in mind. This is your cross. You’ve spent a lot of years rejecting it and warring against its presence. Embrace it and see what it says. You’ll find the answers if you’re willing to put your agenda aside to hear.

Have a blessed holiday & may your days be filled with joy & peace.

~bella

 

[DragonFox91]

It just seems like a lost cause. Maybe someday you will grow out of wanting to be married. I think you will

 

[SarahsKnight]

It just seems like a lost cause. Maybe someday you will grow out of wanting to be married. I think you will

I am praying that the Lord will grant you peace about your circumstances, whether this particular desire you have held so close will ever be fulfilled or not, DragonFox.

 

[DragonFox91]

"Come to Bethlehem & see"

"Why this Jubilee?"

 

[DragonFox91]

We are not going to Christmas Eve service tonight. It's kind of bizarre. I like going on Christmas Eve. It's very rare I miss church on Sunday's tho. I'll probably read Bible here.

 

[SarahsKnight]

It is an easy night at work tonight since 9pm, thankfully. And somehow the one station i managed to tune my radio into in this rather obstructive room is playing old Christmas music. So sitting here at the desk patiently waiting for some samples to finish running on the IC while the music plays softly nearby is proving a rather pleasant experience for me. ^-^

 

[ReesePiece23]

It's been over a year since my last post, but everything is going fine. I got engaged in May and by August 2026, I shall be a married man. Who'd have thought that? For someone who was once so militant about staying single and "living for yourself" I'm settling down and starting a family.

Doubts? None. Best friends with my fiance? No doubt - we've already travelled the world together and have a weird telepathy that I thought only twins had. The point is, I'm 35 now and grown up.

I thought I'd post today, because seven months from now, I'll be booted out of Singles anyway. (I don't even think I'm eligible now.)