What's on your mind?

[High Fidelity]

I officially graduated on Friday! I'm so blessed the Lord opened the door for me to return to college!

Congrats! Time flies, I didn’t realise you’d been studying for that many years.

Did you do a BA or MA/M.Div?

 

[Saucy]

Congrats! Time flies, I didn’t realise you’d been studying for that many years.

Did you do a BA or MA/M.Div?

Well, 19 years ago I started a Graduate of Theology, Biblical Studies degree through Liberty University. I completed a year of it before my dad passed away and from there, a lot of stuff happened and I dropped out, my faith dwindled, I made a ton of mistakes, etc. In the last few years, I really turned a lot of things around and one of those was the desire to go back to school and finish that degree. So it took me about a year and a half (taking 18 credits both in fall and spring). I just had two more classes for the summer and finished those on Friday. Most of my bachelor's degree is finished, so I'm going back this fall to get my bachelor's in religion with a minor in Christian counseling. Considering the master's in divinity as well, but we will see.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I officially graduated on Friday! I'm so blessed the Lord opened the door for me to return to college!

Sau-say!! Congratulations, bro! What will you do with your new *skillz*?

 

[TheLastGeek]

Woohoo!

Well, 19 years ago I started a Graduate of Theology, Biblical Studies degree through Liberty University. I completed a year of it before my dad passed away and from there, a lot of stuff happened and I dropped out, my faith dwindled, I made a ton of mistakes, etc. In the last few years, I really turned a lot of things around and one of those was the desire to go back to school and finish that degree. So it took me about a year and a half (taking 18 credits both in fall and spring). I just had two more classes for the summer and finished those on Friday. Most of my bachelor's degree is finished, so I'm going back this fall to get my bachelor's in religion with a minor in Christian counseling. Considering the master's in divinity as well, but we will see.

 

[Saucy]

Sau-say!! Congratulations, bro! What will you do with your new *skillz*?

Pastoral ministry! I'm close to becoming an associate pastor at my church But my church is small, so my head pastor is bi-vocational. So I'm thinking of doing some type of chaplain work while serving at my church. Please be in prayer over that.

How are you doing?

 

[TheRealAriel]

Congrats @Saucy !!

I’m currently watching a spooky movie and it just started pouring rain. I appreciate the weather matching my vibe.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

Then let the famed lady knight Jersey Heartshorn lead you back into a more jovial state of mind, Chelsea.

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Still, I am praying for you, okay?

Thank you so much! That definitely made me smile! Thanks for the prayers, too!

 

[SarahsKnight]

Thank you so much! That definitely made me smile!

I find that our heroine can do that a lot. ^-^

 

[TheLastGeek]

Pastoral ministry! I'm close to becoming an associate pastor at my church But my church is small, so my head pastor is bi-vocational. So I'm thinking of doing some type of chaplain work while serving at my church. Please be in prayer over that.

How are you doing?

I'm doing all right, thank you for asking. Finally got a new job that is close to home, in a facility I enjoy working in, working with a great team of nice, supportive people, doing something that is challenging without being overwhelming and soul-draining, and reportedly includes a pay raise this month. I spent over 2 years struggling to find a job that wasn't absolute, utter misery, so it's a massive relief and blessing!

 

[TheLastGeek]

Being an INFJ personality, I am very good at listening, connecting with others, being intuitive about people, and showing empathy and compassion. Unfortunately, most other people don't possess these traits. This means that people end up latching onto those like me, because we make them feel good. We make them feel seen, heard, noticed, cared about, valued. They often don't have the capacity to reciprocate. So I end up with people who will message me out of nowhere every few weeks or months. Not to have a give-and-take conversation between the two of us. Not to ask me how I'm doing. No, they just plop down something about themselves, and then they sit and wait for the inevitable, caring, observant reply that makes them feel good. I'm a human vending machine of validation for them. Most of the time, I have enough within me to give them what they need, make an observation about their situation, ask them a question or two for clarity. They're satisfied and they go on about their day and forget that I exist until the next time they want attention, in another month or two, lol.

This is not really a complaint from me. It's an observation. I've learned how to put up healthy boundaries for myself, though that is a lifelong lesson that I'm sure I'll be fine-tuning until I die. It's a topic I return to and ponder quite often. I do wonder how these people view themselves and the way they interact with me. I wonder if they have any self-awareness at all, or think about how they never bother to notice my own existence, or care about how I'm doing, in between their intermittent connections where they just want me to notice and validate them.

 

[venksta]

Being an INFJ personality, I am very good at listening, connecting with others, being intuitive about people, and showing empathy and compassion. Unfortunately, most other people don't possess these traits. This means that people end up latching onto those like me, because we make them feel good. We make them feel seen, heard, noticed, cared about, valued. They often don't have the capacity to reciprocate. So I end up with people who will message me out of nowhere every few weeks or months. Not to have a give-and-take conversation between the two of us. Not to ask me how I'm doing. No, they just plop down something about themselves, and then they sit and wait for the inevitable, caring, observant reply that makes them feel good. I'm a human vending machine of validation for them. Most of the time, I have enough within me to give them what they need, make an observation about their situation, ask them a question or two for clarity. They're satisfied and they go on about their day and forget that I exist until the next time they want attention, in another month or two, lol.

This is not really a complaint from me. It's an observation. I've learned how to put up healthy boundaries for myself, though that is a lifelong lesson that I'm sure I'll be fine-tuning until I die. It's a topic I return to and ponder quite often. I do wonder how these people view themselves and the way they interact with me. I wonder if they have any self-awareness at all, or think about how they never bother to notice my own existence, or care about how I'm doing, in between their intermittent connections where they just want me to notice and validate them.

Oh wow. I'm also a INFJ personality. And I've noticed the same thing, where people will message me out of no where, for their own self interest, then disappear. I never connected the dots like you have.

 

[TheLastGeek]

Oh wow. I'm also a INFJ personality. And I've noticed the same thing, where people will message me out of no where, for their own self interest, then disappear. I never connected the dots like you have.

If you typically respond with supportive, encouraging, empathetic interest, that's probably what's happening. It's a shame. I've learned to just let people go when they act this way. In the past, wanting to be The Bigger Person or The True Christian or what-have-you, I'd follow up and ask how they're doing. I don't do that anymore. People make time for what's important to them. If someone can't be bothered to maintain simple, polite, caring communication with me on a regular basis, then I don't matter to that person. It's that simple. It's hard for us to wrap our kind, caring, forgiving brains around that, but that's the hard, brutal truth.

Don't waste your time chasing people who you don't matter to.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

I find that our heroine can do that a lot. ^-^

Facts. Thanks for being here for me, by the way! It means a lot.

 

[TheLastGeek]

This is so, so very important.

 

[peaceful-forest]

I didn't realize that single men had some criticisms about us women until this decade.

I decided to give the men a chance and listen to what they had to say, because women have negative things to say about men.

Lately, I haven't liked what the men have had to say. One of the big things they criticize us for is being sexually immoral. But then the men will talk about how they were sexually immoral in their teens and 20s. But not in a remorseful, repentant way; they just state it like it was a fact that happened, but they bash bad women. But us ladies are the problem?

I'm over it. Double standards don't work.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I didn't realize that single men had some criticisms about us women until this decade.

I decided to give the men a chance and listen to what they had to say, because women have negative things to say about men.

Lately, I haven't liked what the men have had to say. One of the big things they criticize us for is being sexually immoral. But then the men will talk about how they were sexually immoral in their teens and 20s. But not in a remorseful, repentant way; they just state it like it was a fact that happened, but they bash bad women. But us ladies are the problem?

I'm over it. Double standards don't work.

Nobody should be okay with sexual immorality, ever.

Are Christian women sleeping around these days? I've never budged from the stance that no professing Christian should be sleeping with anyone they aren't married to, and that's never changed at all throughout my lifetime. If there's some Christian subculture that's okay with hooking up on dates, I'm not aware of it, and I want no part in it.

 

[peaceful-forest]

Nobody should be okay with sexual immorality, ever.

Are Christian women sleeping around these days? I've never budged from the stance that no professing Christian should be sleeping with anyone they aren't married to, and that's never changed at all throughout my lifetime. If there's some Christian subculture that's okay with hooking up on dates, I'm not aware of it, and I want no part in it.

I'm not seeing it on the forum here, but elsewhere on the Internet. I know one of the men I see doing this, he says he's a Christian, but he rants and raves about women frequently, and he has brought up multiple times his sex life.

From what he says, he sounds like he's part of the problem. He's talked about how he's engaged in sex outside of marriage since his teens, but it doesn't seem like he understands that he has contributed to the "sexually immoral women" problem with his past actions.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I'm not seeing it on the forum here, but elsewhere on the Internet. I know one of the men I see doing this, he says he's a Christian, but he rants and raves about women frequently, and he has brought up multiple times his sex life.

From what he says, he sounds like he's part of the problem. He's talked about how he's engaged in sex outside of marriage since his teens, but it doesn't seem like he understands that he has contributed to the "sexually immoral women" problem with his past actions.

Good grief. I'd say something like, "You know it takes a willing man to help a woman be sexually immoral, right? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Pot, kettle, black."

 

[Saucy]

I didn't realize that single men had some criticisms about us women until this decade.

I decided to give the men a chance and listen to what they had to say, because women have negative things to say about men.

Lately, I haven't liked what the men have had to say. One of the big things they criticize us for is being sexually immoral. But then the men will talk about how they were sexually immoral in their teens and 20s. But not in a remorseful, repentant way; they just state it like it was a fact that happened, but they bash bad women. But us ladies are the problem?

I'm over it. Double standards don't work.

Yeah sounds like hypocrisy.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm not seeing it on the forum here, but elsewhere on the Internet. I know one of the men I see doing this, he says he's a Christian, but he rants and raves about women frequently, and he has brought up multiple times his sex life.

From what he says, he sounds like he's part of the problem. He's talked about how he's engaged in sex outside of marriage since his teens, but it doesn't seem like he understands that he has contributed to the "sexually immoral women" problem with his past actions.

He would be part of the problem, yes. More so if any of his partners weren't promiscuous already by the time he got with them.