What's on your mind?

[DragonFox91]

@DragonFox91
I remember in the past there was a guy who I tried showing interest in, but I always felt like he shut me out and shut me down because he was so focused on being forever alone, like he just assumed all girls didn't like him so I never was able to keep conversations going, always felt like he emotionally shut me out before i could even say much. He didn't understand why girls weren't talking to him, but I have a feeling they may have tried but were shut out before they could try, and I don't think he realized it. I think being open and welcoming and looking forward to creating a beautiful relationship that you desire creates opportunity and welcoming of someone new to come into your life. To me your daily life and habits are like your home and you have to make it welcoming to what you want to come in. I don't think it hurts to daydream and talk about what you hope for someday, as if it will happen, and also think about who you want to be for someone else. I think it helps create a shift in how one views life and such and also helps one know what steps they may need to take to help make their dreams come to fruition. Just my thoughts though.

Interesting. A good attitude towards it could help me, & I definitely would need a warm & welcoming heart, you never know when it might happen, but I don't think I've ever done that. That's why it's so frustrating. Like you probably had multiple conversations w/ this guy? I never got that. Either way it doesn't matter b/c I'm not even able to meet singles anymore & am at a deadend so what good does a attitude shift do?

 

[DragonFox91]

I think this happens a lot more than we think. We get stuck in a mood and we lose out on great things. It happened to me in high school.

In high school I was the outcast. I wonder if all this 'inclusion' stuff you see & 'be kind' has transferred to high schools? I see high schools say it, but I doubt it. I think it's just a goodwill/marketing thing they do to pretend everything's loving & such at the school. But one of my friends, his sister started a 'eat lunch w/ the person eating lunch all by themselves' kind of program at her high school so maybe it did a little bit? I' probably would've thought it was fake & decline tho.

 

[Saucy]

My niece is sick so my birthday plans were canceled for this weekend! Need to find something else to do...

 

[SarahsKnight]

@DragonFox91
I remember in the past there was a guy who I tried showing interest in, but I always felt like he shut me out and shut me down because he was so focused on being forever alone, like he just assumed all girls didn't like him so I never was able to keep conversations going, always felt like he emotionally shut me out before i could even say much. He didn't understand why girls weren't talking to him, but I have a feeling they may have tried but were shut out before they could try, and I don't think he realized it. I think being open and welcoming and looking forward to creating a beautiful relationship that you desire creates opportunity and welcoming of someone new to come into your life. To me your daily life and habits are like your home and you have to make it welcoming to what you want to come in. I don't think it hurts to daydream and talk about what you hope for someday, as if it will happen, and also think about who you want to be for someone else. I think it helps create a shift in how one views life and such and also helps one know what steps they may need to take to help make their dreams come to fruition. Just my thoughts though.

A beautiful sentiment, Somber. Well spoken.

 

[DragonFox91]

I am sorry that this has left you with many sad days ever since you've joined us in this community, but still, that does not automatically mean that God Himself forbids you from women. You simply just don't have as easy a time with it as some other humans might (myself definitely not being one of them, so yes, I can empathize). But again, that doesn't mean God is not allowing it at all.

I hate to say it but not everyone gets to date. It's just the reality. It might be me. I don't deserve it.

If you struggle w/ mental health as a guy, that automatically is a death sentence for dating pretty much. Unfortunately I've seen posters here say they agree w/ that AND it's a good thing and the way it s/ be.
I told my counselor that, he says you never know what a young lady might like.

 

[DragonFox91]

I s/ stop moping now.

 

[Somber]

Interesting. A good attitude towards it could help me, & I definitely would need a warm & welcoming heart, you never know when it might happen, but I don't think I've ever done that. That's why it's so frustrating. Like you probably had multiple conversations w/ this guy? I never got that. Either way it doesn't matter b/c I'm not even able to meet singles anymore & am at a deadend so what good does a attitude shift do?

Not really unfortunately. I never was able to make conversation because he didn't show interest in me and I didn't feel welcomed to, like I tried initiating but there wasn't effort on his part and he never asked questions about me so made me feel like he just didn't like me. Yeah, I think being welcoming and showing interest in others as a person really creates opportunities. Also being willing to step outside one's comfort zone and broaden one's horizons will create more opportunities. Maybe you don't normally go out to more public or social places to strike up friendly conversations with people, but it never hurts to do so, or maybe you aren't willing to date long distance, but there's possibly someone out there who would be a good match, just to give a few examples. I know in my current area there's not a lot of people who I could date so I'll likely be single a long time if I'm not willing to open up the possibility of meeting someone further away. But yeah, being open and welcoming is probably the biggest, my one brother who is more of an introvert literally attracts new people wherever he goes. We will be on hikes and he'll joke around with other people we meet along the way and it strikes up conversations and suddenly we're hiking with new people having the funniest conversations, even though he doesn't really go out of his way to make friends, he's always so easygoing, friendly and welcoming. My sister is the same way, although she's an outgoing little social bug and makes new friends all the time. Normally I'd be too shy to joke around or be silly with people I don't know, but am slowly realizing a lot of people really enjoy when you open up to them and are comfortable around them. Just think, there's probably lots of girls out there that are just as shy and not sure how to open up to new people either. Somebody's got to break that ice!! But yeah, some areas are harder than others to meet new people. Maybe visiting a bigger city for social events might help?

 

[DragonFox91]

I like how in the South everyone talks to you. Here people keep to themselves. In the South so many people are non-natives everyone has a different story to share. It's great conversation starters. You're automatically interesting.
Here you meet someone you go thru ‘where you’re from’ & it’s like ‘I’ve always lived here.’ You’re automatically not interesting by default. In the South everyone has a story why they moved down there & can share what their North home was like. So b/c everyone has a story. Everyone knows there's so many non-natives so want to know their story. In the South I'm always surprised. No wonder why people here in the north always vacation in the south & feel so much better. Warm weather is just a part of it.





I have a mental illness that's why I know I'm not allowed to date.

 

[Vinter]

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[Vinter]

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[DragonFox91]

I don't know what hobbies you have? I know you like anime and One Piece.

I am opposite of you on this though. I want to drop comics and anime because I think it hinders me in using time to improve upon myself. For me my hobby is the problem.



I agree. I myself made a big mistake when I was younger. When I was younger this young woman and her then boyfriend moved in and I didn't like them because, they played loud music. I did not even live there it was my mom's apartment, she was on the 2nd story and these young ones were at the ground floor.

She was nice enough to say if the music is bothersome just let us know. I was still bothered because why could't she tell her self it was annoying. She broke up with her boyfriend and got another one and another one and so on,I thought she doesn't have boyfriends it's flavor og the month. I thought she was a harlot. So I was a bit of a Pharisee. When I say Pharisee I'm thinking Luke 18:9-14
Not that I said anything bad to her, but I was thinking it and that is also very bad. The young woman then settled down with the guy she has now.

My mom then moves right next door. to a 1st story apartment, where she lives now. She moved during a summer. So my mom can speak with this young couple when she out on her terrace, that's how close she is to them when they are out in there garden (the gorund floor apartments each have a little garden) My mom has always been nice to them. Even when she was with her ex playing loud music she was nice to them.

So I was out on the terrace sanding down some kitchen doors for the cupboards. This young woman was having some friends over. This is 5 years ago. I was out there sanding and I could here them say "Hey!" and I could hear them coughing. They wanted my attention, but I ignored them. because I thought no way am I going to talk to those skanks, like I said I was a Pharisee.

Now that woman and her boyfriend she settled down with, they are that young couple that knows mystery woman!

Had I been nice, I may even have been on so good terms with the young couple today and I could have asked hey who is that cute blond friend of yours?

I have been very arrogant. It's something I have thought of since and I have been humbled by the experience.

I say hey to the young couple when I see them on the street, but not more than that.

Overall you come a long way with a friendly hey and a smile. I'm smart enough to know that now.

I'm sure I've run into issues being a Pharisee myself.
I have a similar problem to yours but not exactly. There are 2 couples that are my immediate neighbors. I haven't even tried to talk to them. I guess I just think of all the couples I met in the past who just want to do whatever couples do & hang out w/ other couples. We talked about this on here the other day. Couples don't want to be friends w/ singles b/c they don't want a third wheel.

 

[DragonFox91]

May I ask what kind of mental illness you have?

I am paranoid schizophrenic.
I used to be very negative and used say to myself I am not good enough because I am paranoid schizophrenic and I don't have a fantastic income. I can't pamper a woman like I think a man should. I can't make her feel secure because of my income. And yet I have more hope now than I have ever had before.

Anxiety.
It used to be really really really bad. It's SO MUCH better now but I guess it's still not enough.

 

[DragonFox91]

I want to watch my DVD & read my books!

 

[DragonFox91]

Have you guys ever had a good memory you don't want to remember?

 

[Saucy]

Anxiety.
It used to be really really really bad. It's SO MUCH better now but I guess it's still not enough.

I understand that. I was once misdiagnosed as having bipolar disorder. I cried for hours over that, thinking I'd never be "normal" and no one would ever love someone who is bipolar. But I was misdiagnosed and I really have ADHD. That can be complicated, but I would certainly never exclude myself from ever finding love. I think everyone has a bit of anxiety in their life. I don't think you should exclude yourself or think you have no hope. Anxiety is treatable and you already said it's getting better.

 

[DragonFox91]

I understand that. I was once misdiagnosed as having bipolar disorder. I cried for hours over that, thinking I'd never be "normal" and no one would ever love someone who is bipolar. But I was misdiagnosed and I really have ADHD. That can be complicated, but I would certainly never exclude myself from ever finding love. I think everyone has a bit of anxiety in their life. I don't think you should exclude yourself or think you have no hope. Anxiety is treatable and you already said it's getting better.

How on earth does ADHD get misdiagnosed as bi-polar???
The bold is how I feel but swap bipolar w/ anxiety.

 

[Saucy]

How on earth does ADHD get misdiagnosed as bi-polar???
The bold is how I feel but swap bipolar w/ anxiety.

They share a lot of the same characteristics.

 

[Vinter]

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[DragonFox91]

This is actually very common. Statistics even show this. When single friends stop being single and get married, they move on. Just like couples with kids stop being friends with couple that don't have kids.
Priorites change depending on what stage people are in.

That's terrible. Are you trying to make me feel worse lol

I guess I'm doing nothing wrong than w/ not bothering to try to befriend couples.

 

[DragonFox91]

Not funny. btw you need to stop falling for non-believers.

I don't mean not allowed in the Bible doesn't allow it.