What's on your mind?

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

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[DragonFox91]

Sorry if I say the same things a lot. I am just venting.

It's okay. I do the same. I hijacked the thread.

Online dating was a disaster. There were only men that wanted to hook up. None of them were looking for a relationship.

Are a lot of men really like this on dating sites? Like one night stands? Seems strange to me. A lot of men want real love/relationships. They have real emotional needs.

I thought I could vent here but I guess not.

No you can I've done it all week

I'm not being dramatic. Every man I talk to doesn't want to be with me.

How sad!

 

[mojoboy31]

I would feel happy if I was with someone. I wouldn't be lonely anymore.

Full truth here, you can be with someone and still be lonely-- in fact-- that's an even worse loneliness..

Just being in a relationship won't make you happy. It's a hard thing to be lonely, and be patient. But trust me, it's better to wait for the right thing, than to force it with the wrong thing.
Hang in there.

 

[DragonFox91]

So apparently the hang in there poster I was talking about is actually a cat not a sloth. Sloths do good at hanging on, cats don't, that's why they have 9 lives, they get 8 times to fall off.

 

[bèlla]

Being single is not fun.

Relationships aren’t a cakewalk. Nor is marriage. Read the marriage forum sometime for greater insight.

Having a companion isn’t a magic wand. You can be lonely and partnered. Sad and in a relationship. They don’t fill every nook and cranny. Or meet every need or respond as you’d hope all the time.

You’ll need a lot of patience and grace. There’s no guarantee they’ll have the same. He’ll hurt your feelings and disappoint you. Sometimes he’ll be insensitive or seem uncaring. Or want to be with friends when you want time with him.

The denial you experience today is providing the strength you’ll need tomorrow. The sloughing is hard but it prepares you for the highs and lows. You’ll have plenty.

I’m going to go on a limb and echo @SarahsKnight suggestion. You seem a little sensitive as does @DragonFox91. It’s unlikely you’ll encounter another who understands your plight and empathizes in a manner you respond to positively.

You aren’t bothered by his behavior and he isn’t bothered by yours. That isn’t common.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

@Saucy Sorry if I annoyed you by what I posted. I'm just venting.

 

[Somber]

One associate is going to be gone for two weeks because their daughter is moving across the country with her four boys, and my associate is terrified (understandably) to have them drive it all the way by themselves, so she's decided for the sake of her own sanity, she's going to tag along and then fly herself back. So I will be pulling six day work weeks until she gets back.

My other associate is currently sick and has missed two days and just let me know they aren't going to be able to make it in tomorrow. So I'm gonna also be by myself for a few days at least.

Hoping she's feeling better by the time the doc comes back on Tuesday, otherwise I'm a little doomed here

Oh noo!!! Hang in there!! Sounds like you have a rough week ahead of you!

 

[Saucy]

I promise I wasn't trying to be a jerk. I've been here for 16 years (!) and have seen SO many people just come in and complain endlessly about being single like it's the worst possible thing in the world and their lives are over because they don't have someone. Maybe it's a sign it is time for me to move on lol

 

[bèlla]

Online dating was a disaster. There were only men that wanted to hook up. None of them were looking for a relationship.

How well can you honestly know someone you’ve never seen or met? You’re relying on the honor system and hope they’re being truthful. Conversing on Skype may show their face but it doesn’t reveal what’s underneath. You need time together outside this medium.

Anonymity brings all types. Some are dishonest and misrepresent themselves. Others seek casual connections under the guise of serious inquiries. Some are partnered and dipping a toe elsewhere. And a few are genuine. It takes effort to draw them and avoid the others. Even then there’s no guarantee.

No one should want to be with you based upon words on a screen. They should require more for themselves. Time together and a period of vetting. Certainty is a slippery slope.

Discrimination is important. You want a companion you can rely on with sound decision-making. The methods he undertakes to draw you near shouldn’t be ignored. Examine his standard carefully. If he’s swift to commit or make declarations be mindful.

I met my companion online four years ago. It took three to bring me to this point. There’s no wiggle room in forever. I wanted to be more than a missing link or object of his desire. I wanted to be his rib. You don’t enter that lightly.

Keep your eye on the prize. The end goal you’re after. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

I wish I knew how to cook Hibachi Noodles like the Japanese Restaurant near my house. And Hibachi Rice. I would save money! Lol

 

[Somber]

Are a lot of men really like this on dating sites? Like one night stands? Seems strange to me. A lot of men want real love/relationships. They have real emotional needs.

This has been my experience with the more popular dating sites also. Most of the men were looking for hookups, or they didn't say they were only interested in casual until after I went on a date with them. I have had better experiences with the less popular dating sites or ones focused on similar lifestyle choices or beliefs in the past.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

It's raining today! SUN WHERE DID YOU GO????!!!!

 

[Saucy]

I wish I knew how to cook Hibachi Noodles like the Japanese Restaurant near my house. And Hibachi Rice. I would save money! Lol

I LOVE hibachi rice. Funny story, after going to a restaurant and seeing how it was made, I tried to replicate it at home. I had my friend try it and he goes, "why is it so crunchy? Did you cook the rice?" I was like, "Yeah, I fried it in the pan just like the chefs do it." He was like, "Okay, but did you boil the rice before you fried it?"

 

[bèlla]

I promise I wasn't trying to be a jerk. I've been here for 16 years (!) and have seen SO many people just come in and complain endlessly about being single like it's the worst possible thing in the world and their lives are over because they don't have someone. Maybe it's a sign it is time for me to move on lol

I think some handle singleness better than others. Back in the day only women admitted it. Men were silent. Now that’s changed. It took some getting used to.

A friend gave me a poem years ago after a break up. It recalibrated my thoughts on the subject. You’ve probably seen it.

While I want to settle down and look forward to marriage it isn’t my orbit. There’s lots to do and enjoy. Love is a slice of the pie.

Maybe I’m odd.

 

[DragonFox91]

This has been my experience with the more popular dating sites also. Most of the men were looking for hookups, or they didn't say they were only interested in casual until after I went on a date with them. I have had better experiences with the less popular dating sites or ones focused on similar lifestyle choices or beliefs in the past.

That's terrible.

 

[Somber]

It's raining today! SUN WHERE DID YOU GO????!!!!

Am sorry, I stole the sunshine today! Will see if it can be returned!

 

[Saucy]

I think some handle singleness better than others. Back in the day only women admitted it. Men were silent. Now that’s changed. It took some getting used to.

A friend gave me a poem years ago after a break up. It recalibrated my thoughts on the subject. You’ve probably seen it.

While I want to settle down and look forward to marriage it isn’t my orbit. There’s lots to do and enjoy. Love is a slice of the pie.

Maybe I’m odd.

I think a lot of it is getting older. I remember once when I was helping in teens ministry watching a 15-year-old girl tell her father she hated him because he didn't get her the phone she wanted. When you're a teen, that's your whole world. When you get older, you just have a whole different perspective on things. Being single isn't the end of the world. There's still a lot to be thankful for and hard times will only get harder. Being single is a piece of cake.

 

[Somber]

I think a lot of it is getting older. I remember once when I was helping in teens ministry watching a 15-year-old girl tell her father she hated him because he didn't get her the phone she wanted. When you're a teen, that's your whole world. When you get older, you just have a whole different perspective on things. Being single isn't the end of the world. There's still a lot to be thankful for and hard times will only get harder. Being single is a piece of cake.

Right! I probably had mini meltdowns over candy as a little kid. Perspectives and desires definitely change with each new step in life! xD

 

[Saucy]

Right! I probably had mini meltdowns over candy as a little kid. Perspectives and desires definitely change with each new step in life! xD

Except I bet you still have meltdowns over candy though...