What's on your mind?

[sampa]

I saw the same growing up. I don't view clothes as an aspect of my identity. I could wear ripped jeans and Doc Martens and still be bella. I don't communicate who I am through my clothing. I like what I like. I use my personality for that.

Very true. In the last 10 years I have been building my wardrobe trying things that are out of my comfort zone. Discovering things that have helped to open more of the feminine side in me. That's good that your identity is not built around what you wear. Also I find very few people that will go outside of a style that they were 20 years ago. Most stick to the same types of colors and fits. At the same time it's always good to stick to certain types of cuts that you know work and the ones that don't. I have the hardest time with women's clothes because of my broad shoulders. Cap sleeves and puffy arms and such never work. I also can't wear a boat necks and v-necks are much more flattering for me. Sleeveless many times is more flattering for me than short sleeve.

The starting point is you. What do you need help with? And what are you good at? If you meet someone who excels (or invests) where you struggle and requires what you have in tow. There's a continual flow. You're pouring into the other.

Good questions I've never thought about until I met the apologist. He said he was attracted to my writing style from my profile and thought I would be good at helping him write future books. I couldn't envision myself doing that even though I had good writing. He was thinking about editing and proofreading which I don't think is a strong suit for me. There's quite a few things that I'm good at, but how that would come together with someone else I'm not sure. And there are things that I'm gifted with like counseling and others that have affirmed this. One gal, while I was just starting my correspondence with the architect and three other guys, said she heard the word therapist. There was a guy that I was just letting go of because his mental issues were too heavy for me. But I thought it was interesting since I've had a history of guys that have developed post-traumatic stress syndrome and the architect was taking antidepressant drugs to control his temper. But that part of me I really do not want to tie into a marriage. I'm good at hosting small functions and tying people together for lasting friendships, I know how to piece an outfit together, money is a mixed bag for me and I would hope to marry someone with a stronger grasp, gardening is a growing pursuit that many times gives me mental release.. and the same goes for running, I'm super good at planning and hope to be with the same, ... Thinking about what I need help with I probably need somebody very practical and their head is not in the clouds all the time but they don't see conversations about dreaming as frivolous and make fun of it... I know my non-negotiables but many of the interest that I have I think are always changing and I don't want to base long-term prospect on that. Rather I pray that the Lord will give me wisdom and discernment and how I fit with someone... I also hope I can marry somebody that I'm attracted to.

Work is commiserate to the target. The higher you climb the more he expects. You need to know your barometer. What are you willing to do consistently? That isn't a question from me. But something you need to answer for yourself.

good to think about. I doubt I will ever climb too high as I've always had so many setbacks. Today I had the day off and it's an example of my allergies and different things just slowing me down. The brain has so many ideas and things I want to do but the body isn't always willing. And other times I'm like a powerhouse, the guy I dated back in May said he was happy to see that I take naps because he thought maybe he couldn't keep up with me.

In the military I never could make it past E4 level. There was always failures either in courses or physical test. I felt it was a boundary that the Lord kept me within because he didn't want me to rise higher but used the military as a means to college and other things in life.

Ideally it's tied to something besides him. For example, his aesthetic preference aids my work. It opens up greater opportunities for impromptu content. I'll look my best going out, with unexpected company, etc. That's helping me.

Sounds like you have a good fit. Also a good understanding of what you're looking for and what the Lord has gifted you with to be able to give.

What is God asking you to do (or you desire to do) that benefits from his influence? Tie it together if you can

Yes, it's a continuing question. I hope when the opportunity presents itself again that I will be able to revisit this. I don't feel I'm ready to reenter online dating but I have to since the winter is coming and I won't be able to date. Just had some new pictures taken by a friend yesterday at the beach. I took pictures of her and her family also in return.

My favorite park is flooded Now instead of walking around the park, you can literally swim around the whole park lol

I'm so sorry that your favorite Park is flooded. I hope this presents an opportunity to discover new places. I'm sure they're out there. Maybe even check if a preserve exist.

I am new at cooking and so far I love it! I also love washing dishes lol

I'm still learning the cooking thing but I've always been good with dishes. That's what I spent my years growing up doing because I didn't want to cook. And now I find it therapeutic where I am constantly washing the dishes as I cook. I like to have things clean.

Said no one, EVER

I wouldn't say that I love it, but I do it quite a bit more often than others.

 

[sampa]

Three days down, four nights to go. If you all would, please pray that I will make it just fine tomorrow night despite the short turnaround, and that

I sure can pray. Sounds like you have your hands full with worrying about the coworker and what people are saying about him and also the crush that now is with someone. I'm sure it's hard to change habits with the new information. Blessings, I know it's hard when you are tired.

 

[SarahsKnight]

I'm sure it's hard to change habits with the new information.

Oh, not so much, at least while I am at work. It has been almost a year since I learned she was no longer single. Still, sometimes, I feel tempted to heap praise upon the dear lady. But I cannot go through with it; while she has treated me well ever since, I still have reason to believe she is already burdened somewhat by the knowledge that there is another guy who is romantically fond of her, apart from the person she is seeing. I can understand that; how does one just continue to go on normally like nothing ever happened when you know all the while that someone you see on a regular basis in your school/work.etc. environment feels a fondness for you that you simply cannot or will not return, after all? So at this point if I slip, I am sure I will regret it.

I have heard that others have made a joke or two to her face in the past months about my crush on her, so that is enough on its own. When one of the other guys tried to bring her up again - however much I am sure he meant it as an innocent joke - just yesterday, about how I would be willing to do a certain work-related favor for Erin whereas I just humorously denied it to him, I just said, "hey, let's not talk about that anymore, okay"? And I think he got the message without hurt feelings, and the other two (typically wise guys about this kind of thing) present to hear that hopefully understood and got the message as well. I just don't want any talk anymore of my feelings for Erin having any possibility of getting back around to her, whether I was a part of it or not. As I said before, I think it is overwhelming enough to her as it is. And I have to stay mindful of her feelings and sensibilities as best as I can, if I am to earnestly say and believe that I still hold true and sincere romantic feelings for her without shame.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Sounds like you have your hands full with worrying about the coworker and what people are saying about him

The problem is, he is far from the only one I hear my closest coworkers - the people on both C and D crew - always talking about, and sometimes outright hatefully. Yes, the guy in question has been offensive in some ways to the rest of us (like I said, in the midst of training him I found him to be very frustrating as well), but still, it's not an excuse to hate on him like that. For all I know, when I am not present, because of my own quirks and mistakes, they also talk about me .... and each other. I wouldn't put it past them. It's just one of those work environments where the people involved probably wouldn't normally act or talk this way, but somehow the environment itself has just made it so easy to be toxic around each other that they probably do it on the automatic, feeding off of each other, without even realizing it. I have been guilty of involvement in that stew of toxicity myself, regrettably. That was what I was asking you all to pray for when I came back from work last Saturday, actually, and I had to consciously try to stay away from work "talk" for the rest of that weekend, including today. You could tell they were trying to reel me into the conversation - knowingly or subconsciously; likely the latter, really - when they started the weird sex jokes and insulting complaining about other workers not present on the crew that day, at various times.


Sad thing is, this is still way better than Dr. Pepper (my previous job) typically was, so sometimes I wonder if I need to count my blessings. Having been at a more stressful (in terms of intensity and frequency) job and lived in a city like Houston at the same time, it can certainly seem like a blessing now being back in the area where I went to college and spent most of my formative years and with an old, familiar job that despite my complaints above really isn't quite as toxic or stressful.


Thank you for showing your concern as always, Miss Sampa. It is also good to see you and @bèlla always getting along so well and exchanging stories and life advice and wisdom so much on this thread, too.
^-^

 

[bèlla]

Also I find very few people that will go outside of a style that they were 20 years ago. Most stick to the same types of colors and fits.

I've had my adventurous period. These days it's a question of taste and fit. Branding is a growing theme. I'm developing a signature look. I have signature hues. We're looking for cohesion aesthetically.

There's quite a few things that I'm good at, but how that would come together with someone else I'm not sure. And there are things that I'm gifted with like counseling and others that have affirmed this.

The professional benefit could be emotional (listening and encouraging) or social. It doesn't have to be hands-on. He's an introvert. I thought he was extroverted because he's so outgoing and sociable. He pushes himself. That's not an issue for me. I can be buffer or take the lead and let him relax when he prefers.

Thinking about what I need help with I probably need somebody very practical and their head is not in the clouds all the time but they don't see conversations about dreaming as frivolous and make fun of it...

Male practicality isn't like ours. Look for someone who's adaptable. He has a standard and isn't afraid to shift gears when needed. Fit reveals itself over time. How you handle stress, setbacks, adversity, plenty, limitations, etc. Sometimes you're on the same page but you approach it differently. We're risk takers. I'll make financial leaps before he will. He does the same in his career. We can nudge one another when needed.

As for attraction, I see it holistically. Physical is important. But he needs more than that. You want to see different facets of his beauty.

good to think about. I doubt I will ever climb too high as I've always had so many setbacks.

Who's to say? Maybe that will come through him.

Sounds like you have a good fit. Also a good understanding of what you're looking for and what the Lord has gifted you with to be able to give.

We have an amazing connection and we're friends too. We'd be pals if we didn't like each other. I can talk to him for hours. We spent 9 hours on the phone when we reconnected and 4 last night. I haven't done that since cara.

He includes me in his life. There's no secret squirrel stuff. He's an open book. I know what he's doing everyday because he tells me and shows me too. I get pictures or video without asking. That level of inclusion fosters trust and deeper relating. He starts and ends his days with me. I'm a priority and I know it.

When we discussed expectations I asked him to put it in writing. I wanted something to reference. He laid out his vision and broke it down into different components. We go over it and I ask questions and give my feedback. His leadership astounds me. Because he's so young. That's the result of experience.

Just had some new pictures taken by a friend yesterday at the beach. I took pictures of her and her family also in return.

That sounds like fun. I'm sure your friend appreciated it too. I'll take some next month. We'll do a proper set in the winter. I like that aesthetic more.

It sounds like you're on your way.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

I am... emotional, ugh!

 

[VanillaLion]

Playing more Guild Wars 2. I have a Charr character (Level 11) and a Human character (Level 10). It's a fun game! Lots of friendly players!

This is a Charr

 

[VanillaLion]

Another Charr

 

[GodDoesListen55]

I feel like a whole new person when I have my hair done.

 

[VanillaLion]

It is beautiful weather today! Also playing Guild Wars 2 again.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Her face ....

 

[sampa]

My thoughts these last four or so days have not been the best. My friend that is the apologist called today and I asked to take a break again like I have in the past. I just want to be in a healthier place. He will have done some travel & hopefully I will have done my half when we begin to speak again possibly mid-october. I think it will be just as good for him to take this break.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

Go away headache!

 

[SarahsKnight]

Three days down, four nights to go. If you all would, please pray that I will make it just fine tomorrow night despite the short turnaround, and that ... well ... I won't lose my cool in the slightest (not that I have before, but, it's tempting if you knew this guy - I do feel bad for him sometimes, though, as a couple of folk just seem really hateful in how they speak of him behind his back, regardless of whether he does or says anything to provoke it) with the guy who is training in my area right now on weeknights. Also, may I ask, that while I have had no intentions of praising or flirting with my crush any more since I learned she is with someone again, I still wish to get along well with her and that she will not mind having me around on times we're at work together, so please pray that that will continue to be so, and that I will continue to watch my tongue around her, being kind with her, but not flirtatious. Even if it was sincere and well-meaning before, as I truly do think the world of her, it can only prove a burden to her now. On these next two nights I am on her crew, please pray for us to get along appropriately.

These were a pleasant last two nights. Pity it must end.

 

[SarahsKnight]

My thoughts these last four or so days have not been the best. My friend that is the apologist called today and I asked to take a break again like I have in the past. I just want to be in a healthier place. He will have done some travel & hopefully I will have done my half when we begin to speak again possibly mid-october. I think it will be just as good for him to take this break.

May your mind be at peace soon enough, Miss Sampa.

 

[sampa]

May your mind be at peace soon enough, Miss Sampa.

Thank you!

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

...I can perform the research, do the analysis, write up the results, and submit a manuscript to a journal for consideration.

Once handed off, it is out of my hands. Not my decision.

...why can't peers and colleagues realize this?

They don't.

At all.

These folks have PhDs too. Scary. Basic logic escapes them.

 

[Multifavs]

Plush turtle!

 

[VanillaLion]

Very cute plush turtle @Multifavs !

 

[VanillaLion]

It is raining today!