What's on your mind?

[Strider1002]

I'm stressing out, looks like I'll be living alone soon.

Empty nest syndrome.
Don’t have too many wild parties...
...without inviting me!

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[SarahsKnight]

I'm stressing out, looks like I'll be living alone soon.
Mom and dad applied for senior housing. It would be good, because I can no longer fully financially support them both. But man, I love those two. Gonna honestly, miss them. I wish they could stay with me, but mom knows I need to be "free". Idk, I don't like living alone here. I'mma gonna pray that God delay a bit lol. I think I'm just worried for both of them. Geez, I don't know what I want anymore. I told her they could both leave once I find a guy and get married, but she was like, "No, you need to experience living on your own". Ugh, plus now I'll have to calculate separate bills. I'll also have to fend for myself against weird guys..."Where do you live?" I can no longer say, "Oh, my parents live with me!"...and make a dash away (yes, I'm this weird, unfortunately)...or maybe I can finally get a cat...but my mom was like, "Oh, no...you're not that type of girl...look at your plant outside, the bonsai...look at it!" I looked outside, and there it was all shriveled up, I could hear it saying, "Wateerr!!! I need Watterrr!" I said, okay maybe a hamster...she still shook her head...fine, then, a lizard! "He will die too!" My dad interrupted. I think I'm overthinking...I'll probably be fine right...

You will be fine, Abigail. You are a strong girl. But I understand how you must be feeling right now. It is a big and sudden change.

 

[SarahsKnight]

I want you all to pray for me. Not for me to get better but for me to die soon. I'm tired, CF.

I will not do that, Wayholk. I am not going to berate you for feeling this way, but I will not pray for such a thing. I have no problem praying for God to give you the strength to shoulder through, or for Him to take away from your suffering, to give you better days, but not this.

 

[Multifavs]

After a mentally harsh couple of days, I ate some comfort food, fell on my bed, and just broke down crying. All the doctor appointments I have to travel miles for, all the harshness people give me online and in real life, all the mental illness and physical weakness, all the loneliness and isolation, all the senses of failure and loss...

I want you all to pray for me. Not for me to get better but for me to die soon. I'm tired, CF. I'm already facing a short life expectancy because of my autism. I just want it to be done and over with. I never wanted life. There have been so many opportunities for me to die only to be saved from them. I just want you all to pray that I somehow die in my sleep and end my suffering and any burden I place on you with my poor emotional health.

God, just put this wolf to sleep. It was never able to endure nature's cruel reality.

I will pray for you Way, but not for you to die. I could never do that. I don't want anyone to die, every life is precious to Him and matters to me as well. I'm praying for God to give you the strength to get through this.

 

[Swords&Sunflowers]

@Wayholka You are not a failure, You chose to trust God even when it was hard, the greatest success is knowing Him. Many achievements people have, money, and fame, but don't have the Glory that you have. Yes, the road you must walk on is a difficult one, but He promised that He won't ever leave you. This day, lay your heavy burdens down. It doesn't matter what others say or think about you, you are precious in the eyes of the One who made you. You are not your disease. You are you. God breathed and inspired. Don't listen to the lies, learn to say no to those thoughts. You have the power to do so. I pray that God will grant you courage to live on and be a light to those in darkness.

 

[Strider1002]

I wish we could hang out, Way. Maybe one of these days...

 

[redblue22]

I'm here.

 

[Niels]

Owls in my backyard are making silly sounds. I'm tempted to turn on the floodlights, to see what they're up to, but I don't want to scare them away. It's also possible that they're mating, and I'd just as well let them have their privacy.

Also, I somehow managed to enable CF's mobile mode on my laptop.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[SarahsKnight]

More job searching in the Tennessee area. This one's a real pip, but with God's blessing I will apply to it. For an environmental lab, this was the job description:
Stand on feet up to 10 hours; Lift up to 50 lbs.; Use of both hands--Maintain a steady hand while transferring samples; Hold beaker (2 – 4 in. diameter) in one hand while using pipette with other hand; Ability to tighten lid (wing nut) with force on concentrator instrument; Ability to remove 3L solvent flask by holding bulb with one hand while unscrewing it with the other hand; Hold sep funnel with one hand while unscrewing cap with the other; Lift sonicator (2” Diameter, 7 – 8 lbs.) with one hand while placing 2 beakers with solvent and samples underneath; ability to use both hands to remove concentrator (Buchi) lid (approx. 7 lbs.).

I actually know everything the poster is talking about here, so I really have to ask, ... why would you ever need to lift a sonicator with one hand while placing not one but multiple pieces of glassware beneath it with the other? Just freaking move the sonicator to wherever you need it to be with both hands to be safe, and then go back and retrieve the samples in flasks/beakers/etc. to place in it. I have honestly never heard of a sonicator in which you put laboratory glassware beneath it to perform its essential function. This must be a new model I have never seen before.

So long as they never know Nestle Health Science was too much for me and thus I was dismissed from there, I like to think I would be highly desired for this job. It seems like a lateral move from my first lab job at Albemarle at best. They'll probably even ask why I am even applying for this position after my nine to ten years of experience. And my answer will be simple: this is all I know, and I do not ever want to try to "move up" to being a lab manager or supervisor. Screw that. I already had enough babysitting duties to deal with at Dr. Pepper despite not even being in a managerial position and that's basically the reason I knew I had to quit.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I will be praying for you Wayholka,not for what you want which is to die(I could never do that
for someone as nice as you) but for Jesus to give you strength and the patience to endure. God has you here for a reason and I think you are an inspiration actually.

 

[MrMoe]

After a mentally harsh couple of days, I ate some comfort food, fell on my bed, and just broke down crying. All the doctor appointments I have to travel miles for, all the harshness people give me online and in real life, all the mental illness and physical weakness, all the loneliness and isolation, all the senses of failure and loss...

I want you all to pray for me. Not for me to get better but for me to die soon. I'm tired, CF. I'm already facing a short life expectancy because of my autism. I just want it to be done and over with. I never wanted life. There have been so many opportunities for me to die only to be saved from them. I just want you all to pray that I somehow die in my sleep and end my suffering and any burden I place on you with my poor emotional health.

God, just put this wolf to sleep. It was never able to endure nature's cruel reality.

I can relate to how you feel. I've had several days where I've felt exactly like this.
I'm not very good at this sort of thing, but here goes.

I believe God wants you to endure this. The fact that you're still alive means you can endure it.
If God wants you home He will make it happen, but right now giving up really isn't an option. There will be bad days, but there will also be good days, and those good days are worth being alive for.

Also, if by comfort food you mean soft drinks, chips and things like that, it's a good idea to stop eating that stuff. Those sort of foods are loaded with sugar and salt and are probably contributing to making you feel worse not better.

 

[Saucy]

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[Multifavs]

Phew, my traditional drawing is FINALLY almost done. It's taken me a month! I have enjoyed it, though. All I need to do now is add shading to the clouds and make the characters' shadows.

 

[Saucy]

One of my niece's is turning 6 next month and we're already thinking about what to do for her. My sister and I are thinking about going in together to get a nice swing set/playground for the girls.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[Strider1002]

I forgot to mention that I also feel wracked with guilt with the crap I have pulled in the past and for my bad habits today. I know the judgement day is going to be a hard one for me and many other people. Like I have said before, I wish I could redo my life all over as a better adjusted person and not commit certain kinds of sins I still feel disgusted with myself for doing.

Let the blood of Christ wash away those things you’ve done, then they’re gone forever

 

[Toro]

Part of the "forgiveness" that the Bible speaks of is also forgiveness of self. We must forgive all.... not just some.... self is included in that all.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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