That's great. I half wonder if I turn away these guys. I think a guy like this probably has a better chance to approach me through online dating then he does in real life.
There's different expressions of femininity. I'm into dresses, heels, and makeup. I'm ultra feminine. If I meet a guy online and Skype I'll get dressed. Physically put on a dress, shoes, makeup, and do my hair. I'll look the same as if we went out. I prefer men who want that. I love meeting that need. Whereas someone who preferred a casual look wouldn't appeal.
Some good and interesting information. Unfortunately I don't fit into the traditional if one looks on the outside. But once somebody gets to know me they know that I have very traditional values and try to continue family traditions. Something to ponder upon.
I don't believe most men expect a woman to live in dresses and skirts. The majority don't dress that way. All men have aesthetic preferences. But not all of them require compliance. I use that term intentionally. Those who do choose partners who meet (or desire to meet) that standard.
Yes, you are right. I might tend to fall into that majority.
I thought Christian women were like that. I wasn't around them. But when I went to church I saw otherwise. Developing that mindset requires like-minded company. You can't be around people who trumpet your strengths or empowerment all the time. Vulnerability is equally important. You have to be around others who emphasize the softer elements and the beauty of surrender. While they may have successful careers or be in positions of leadership in the world, that doesn't prevent them from yielding to another.
I'm not superwoman. When I come home all bets are off. He has the reins. I don't want them. I offer love, support, encouragement, etc. But I'm not the captain. That's his job. Choosing the right suitor is important as you noted.
Makes complete sense. I wish I had some of those assets.
I was raised by southern men and women. Place was a big deal in that culture. Men and women had roles to play and they didn't try to do the other's job. I've never wanted to be a man. It has no appeal. While I'm strong in my own right, that doesn't diminish my need for him or what he brings to the table. I don't try to fill his shoes. That's not my place.
I'm not a feminist. I want to be secure, protected, and spoiled. I'm a princess. I focus on suitors who want that.
15 years later I decided to do a search on him and saw he had been charged at a high school with relationships with a 16 to 17 year old I think. It shocked me because he will have that record for the rest of his life and I'm not sure that his marriage stayed together.
Wow, that's terrible!
The reason I made that decision in my twenties was because I would hear about extramarital affairs within a church and how shocking it was. It started with Innocent prayer for another person most likely in the relationship and turned into something else. Just keeping the door closed is best in my opinion.
The person I supported made weird comments and one day he said something about 'not acting on feelings' and I knew I had to cut the chord. He'd gone pretty far in his head and nothing I said would convince him otherwise.
I don't mentor men and I'm not their ear. I prefer to speak publicly on the Internet. Unless I know the person r/t like my friend or I'm certain they're not interested in me. I reserve private messages for friends and prospects.
And I use even more extra caution if the person had liked to me before.
I don't befriend men who like me. He's not viewing me platonically. He's on the carnal end. In the back of his mind he wants more if given the chance. For me, that's imbalanced. I'm not dreaming of being his girl. We're not on the same page.
In my mind, it's disingenuous to surround myself with men who desire me. What am I communicating to suitors, my companion, and future spouse? How would I feel if the situation was reversed? From a man's perspective it can appear you enjoy the attention. I hear them discuss it. I don't want to be in that company.
