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Thx but none of my crushes ever pan out.
A family member wants to set me up with this guy, but I'm not sure about it. Isn't he gonna be weirded out if she just goes up to him and asks if he's interested? We've met before, but only briefly and it was a number of years ago. How do people go about this sort of thing?
Might as well be. Maybe I can meet this sister at some point? I was thinking she could be a possiblity herself, but I don't know as much about her.If her sister attends she’s not out of reach.
B/c usually I go w/ them once a month.If that was your plan why were you upset your parents weren’t going?
I just thought you kind of skip the crushing phase & go right to the date step.Of course I do.
Seems like it's either common or so rare it's impossible.I think that's normal. It's kind of rare for a crush to pan out. Or so I've heard.
So he & she don't talk very often?A family member wants to set me up with this guy, but I'm not sure about it. Isn't he gonna be weirded out if she just goes up to him and asks if he's interested? We've met before, but only briefly and it was a number of years ago. How do people go about this sort of thing?
AwkwardlyA family member wants to set me up with this guy, but I'm not sure about it. Isn't he gonna be weirded out if she just goes up to him and asks if he's interested? We've met before, but only briefly and it was a number of years ago. How do people go about this sort of thing?
Might as well be. Maybe I can meet this sister at some point? I was thinking she could be a possiblity herself, but I don't know as much about her.
I just thought you kind of skip the crushing phase & go right to the date step.
I think that's normal. It's kind of rare for a crush to pan out. Or so I've heard.
Who? Her or her sister or both?Maybe you should get to know her before weighing possibilities. Especially if disappointment will dampen your spirits.
This is my first crush in 10 years.I don’t get crushes on strangers. There’s some familiarity and mutual attraction. It builds from there.
I am soooooo frustrated.
Who? Her or her sister or both?
I'm never going to get dates & get GF & get engaged & get married if I don't have one I want to meet.
I'm tryingGet to know her first.
Well that's what I'm saying. I need to be looking for prospects.I think you should focus on getting to first base with the opposite sex. Table the engagement and marriage talk until you have a viable prospect.
I think to myself it's such a long process, even if I were to meet one now, the process is so long marriage wouldn't be at least for 10 years or so minimum.You’re putting pressure on yourself to find a wife when you haven’t secured a commitment. That comes first. Address the others as you move along. It’s a long road to the altar.
Step 1: Prospect & Reciprocity
Step 2: Getting Acquainted
Step 3: Dating
Step 4: Commitment
Step 5: Engagement/Courtship
Step 6: Marriage Preparation
Step 7: Marriage
I think to myself it's such a long process, even if I were to meet one now, the process is so long marriage wouldn't be at least for 10 years or so minimum.
The biggest time eater would be realizing you actually want to date. Unless early on the two become romantically interested in each other & are quick to express it. IDK, I'm just used to it being a really, really slow process. You're probably right: after the dating step starts, it's probably a lot quicker. Maybe 5 years instead of 10. 2 seems way too fast, unless you're starting that count from the commitment step or middle of the dating step.
It depends how long & how frequently you're talking.
That's true. I've just never had that happen.I can’t recount a situation which took that long. Sometimes the person is attached to another or not interested. But routine engagement would yield a response at some point. You know if he’s a friend or there’s a spark.
That doesn’t mean you’ll act on it. But you know either way.
That's true. I've just never got that far.
You really don't think 2 years is rushing it?
It's just urging on the side of caution, trying to get more life experience together. It's not that you're not intending to get married, or don't want to, or don't see yourself married to them, it's just trying to cross t's & dot i's. & I'm someone who would want to rush it. Just not sure it's really the smart thing to do. 10 does seem excessive & might ruffle the partner's feathers if they don't want to wait that long, but 2 seems rushing. 2 is so quick a time.There was an article on Boundless about this years ago. It addressed the problem of lengthy relationships with no commitment in sight. He hasn’t proposed and years are passing. Some force ultimatums and others breakup.
Realistically, most people are in the same vicinity. If you get together once per week and a few extras during vacations that adds up. You’re talking throughout the week. That’s a lot of contact.
If marriage never comes to mind that’s a problem. What are you doing? If you don’t see yourself marrying them you need to let them go. But many don’t. They’re comfortable and don’t want to be alone. Now they’re stuck in a nowhere relationship when they could be with someone willing to commit.
You’re not going to know someone in five years. Experts will tell you that. When you’ve got ten in the bank you’ve seen a lot. They may surprise you every now and then. But less so as time passes.
It's just urging on the side of caution, trying to get more life experience together. It's not that you're not intending to get married, or don't want to, or don't see yourself married to them, it's just trying to cross t's & dot i's. & I'm someone who would want to rush it. Just not sure it's really the smart thing to do. 10 does seem excessive & might ruffle the partner's feathers if they don't want to wait that long, but 2 seems rushing. 2 is so quick a time.
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