What's on your mind?

[DragonFox91]

The beach is where I've like to be right now. Hopefully this warm weather will extend into next weekend so I can make that happen.

We have a warm front here, but 40 isn't really beach weather.

 

[DragonFox91]

Ugh, been following politics this afternoon. BAD IDEA

It's important, but it's bad for my health lol

 

[bèlla]

@cara-mia We have new vocabulary! I encountered womoaning today. I had to look it up. Then I saw others and thought I’d share.

Mansplaining. The act of men unduly patronizing women because of their gender. We know this. But I didn’t know where it came from.

It seems to have started with an American writer, Rebecca Slomit, who was attending a party. She was cornered and lectured by a middle-aged man on a topic he thought he was an expert on because of the book he’d just read. He was later dumbfounded to learn that she’d actually written it.

Womoaning: Excessive female nagging about something you’ve already said you’d sort out.

Broaning: A man discussing his personal failings with another fellow by blaming someone else, usually the only person in the world willing to have sex with him. Eg: “John! Quit broaning about Jane, she’s the best thing to happen to you for ages. And by ‘best’, I mean ‘only’.”

Womentous: The tendency for women to overly exaggerate the importance of something not-that-important, particularly of an emotional nature. Eg: “Stop making it sound so womentous, I was only joking about fancying your sister”. (See also “Making a womountain out of a molehill”.)

Guy-Pad: An apartment owned by a man with no books, pictures or decorations, but instead furnished almost entirely with technology, probably manufactured by Apple.

Miss-Placing: The phenomenon of women never knowing where something is. Eg: “I’ve lost my keys!” “Have you lost them or just miss-placed them?”

 

[MehGuy]

Of course that woman talks to me again.. and acts like nothing happened last week. Honestly she's incredibly deluded if she thinks she's ever going to win me over. Physically she doesn't check off any of the boxes I find desirable in a woman. She's even a few years older to top it off. I don't care how much she reminds me that she is losing or is going to lose weight. Does she really think that stupid raincheck is going to warm me up to her? Even if she did lose weight she wouldn't be my type. I also think she's just built bigger. I don't have the heart to ask.. but I'm pretty sure her hands are larger than mine.

I even heard her once say say to one of her friends that since she's a bigger lady she needs a man with meat on his bones to make her feel small. I don't even fit that description. Most men do not want to be with a woman bigger than him, and the reverse is true for women. She can't deny this because this came out of her own mouth.

I really would like to know why she's so gung-ho on me. There are other men at work who are single too and honestly pretty desperate. She could just harass them. They're also taller and bigger.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

Of course that woman talks to me again.. and acts like nothing happened last week. Honestly she's incredibly deluded if she thinks she's ever going to win me over. Physically she doesn't check off any of the boxes I find desirable in a woman. She's even a few years older to top it off. I don't care how much she reminds me that she is losing or is going to lose weight. Does she really think that stupid raincheck is going to warm me up to her? Even if she did lose weight she wouldn't be my type. I also think she's just built bigger. I don't have the heart to ask.. but I'm pretty sure her hands are larger than mine.

I even heard her once say say to one of her friends that since she's a bigger lady she needs a man with meat on his bones to make her feel small. I don't even fit that description. Most men do not want to be with a woman bigger than him, and the reverse is true for women. She can't deny this because this came out of her own mouth.

I really would like to know why she's so gung-ho on me. There are other men at work who are single too and honestly pretty desperate. She could just harass them. They're also taller and bigger.

That's so annoying. I feel bad for you. Is she being inappropriate, or just blabbing at you like you're her best friend? Either one would be bothersome, but the first you could probably talk to your boss about at least.

 

[MehGuy]

That's so annoying. I feel bad for you. Is she being inappropriate, or just blabbing at you like you're her best friend? Either one would be bothersome, but the first you could probably talk to your boss about at least.

She isn't inappropriate in a physical way. Emotionally she can be. She likes to talk really loud for others to hear our conversations. One time she asked if I liked curvy or thin women and I said thin women.. and blabbed to other women (including overweight ones) that I hated fat women. Which was incredibly embarrassing and totally taken out of context.

She goes through parts of aggression.. then sadness in which I usually feel bad and talk to her to cheer up up to aggression all over again. Although this past month I haven't given in to her sad moments. I don't like ignoring her but it has to stop. I would have at least been work friends if she could keep her cool and keep whatever feelings she has for me to herself. But time and time again it's been proven she can't do that.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

She isn't inappropriate in a physical way. Emotionally she can be. She likes to talk really loud for others to hear our conversations. One time she asked if I liked curvy or thin women and I said thin women.. and blabbed to other women (including overweight ones) that I hated fat women. Which was incredibly embarrassing and totally taken out of context.

She goes through parts of aggression.. then sadness in which I usually feel bad and talk to her to cheer up up to aggression all over again. Although this past month I haven't given in to her sad moments. I don't like ignoring her but it has to stop. I would have at least been work friends if she could keep her cool and keep whatever feelings she has for me to herself. But time and time again it's been proven she can't do that.

Maybe you should start giving her the cold shoulder and only talk to her if it's something strictly work-related. That's what I did with that guy who harassed me. Much good it did there, but maybe this will work out different. Women tend to take being ignored more seriously than men do, I think.

 

[MehGuy]

Maybe you should start giving her the cold shoulder and only talk to her if it's something strictly work-related. That's what I did with that guy who harassed me. Much good it did there, but maybe this will work out different. Women tend to take someone ignoring them more seriously than men do, I think.

I've been doing that for a month. I never imitate the conversations anymore. And any interaction I do have is all work related and as short as possible.

She may be a woman.. but she acts more like a man.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

Oh gosh, morning's over. Starting to not feel well.

Have you checked whether your medication could be wearing off as the day goes on, and that's why you always feel crappy in the evening? My brother had that problem with his medication.

 

[bèlla]

Of course that woman talks to me again.. and acts like nothing happened last week.

I would like to believe she knows you’re not interested. But people get ideas in their head they won’t relinquish. As you recall. You can’t reason with them.

Because you haven’t been cruel, as some men might, she may believe there’s a possibility for more. When you’re nice it sends a different signal.

I’m not saying it makes sense. I know it’s crazy. But I’ve been through it. All engagement is problematic. It spurs them on. Even denials.

Trying to be nice made things worse. They got bolder and bolder. It’s almost like you don’t have a say in the matter. They’ve decided for both.

You can hope she’ll get the point and stop. But she’s probably done it before. That’s the way she pursues guys.

They tell you things to win you over. They know the stumbling block. They want to change your mind.

People who do this experienced a lot rejection. They see you as a savior of sorts. Being with you makes them more acceptable.

They’re looking for love and they’re desperate. It’s so out of whack they can’t go about it in the right way. You do something for their esteem. They feel better about themselves.

They really have low self-esteem. I doubt they’re dating much if at all. She’s latched onto you. That may continue until you leave.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

I've been doing that for a month. I never imitate the conversations anymore. And any interaction I do have is all work related and as short as possible.

She may be a woman.. but she acts more like a man.

Dang. She sounds like a man. lol Does she look like one too?

 

[MehGuy]

I would like to believe she knows you’re not interested. But people get ideas in their head they won’t relinquish. As you recall. You can’t reason with them.

I think part of her knows. Last week when she asked me out on a date her tone had a defeatism quality too it. Like she knew it was a long shot.

Because you haven’t been cruel, as some men might, she may believe there’s a possibility for more. When you’re nice it sends a different signal.

Perhaps. While I can be a mean guy and one who even enjoys putting his foot down at times.. in contexts like these my heart is pretty open. I really.. really hate turning people down, even if they are obnoxious like her. It just ruins my whole day. While it might be hard for her to be rejected I think the emotional toll is about the same on my end.

Trying to be nice made things worse. They got bolder and bolder. It’s almost like you don’t have a say in the matter. They’ve decided for both.

Yeah, I've mostly stopped doing that.

You can hope she’ll get the point and stop. But she’s probably done it before. That’s the way she pursues guys.

They tell you things to win you over. They know the stumbling block. They want to change your mind.

Yeah it's telling when a woman needs to resort to more male tactics to get a guy. Women even in this day and age tend to take more of a passive role because they're the chased instead of the chasers.

People who do this experienced a lot rejection. They see you as a savior of sorts. Being with you makes them more acceptable.

They’re looking for love and they’re desperate. It’s so out of whack they can’t go about it in the right way. You do something for their esteem. They feel better about themselves.

They really have low self-esteem. I doubt they’re dating much if at all. She’s latched onto you. That may continue until you leave.

I know she's not. I hear her talk to her one friend all the time about being sad about not finding a man. To her credit she was at least married once, but those days are probably gone. You're also right she probably does feel better being by me.. and me acting so nice and talking to her probably lends to her fantasizing about us being a thing.

 

[MehGuy]

Dang. She sounds like a man. lol Does she look like one too?

Honestly yeah. She's like the opposite of petite. I wouldn't say her face is particularly masculine though. But when you see her from behind you could mistake her for a dude.

 

[bèlla]

I think part of her knows. Last week when she asked me out on a date her tone had a defeatism quality too it. Like she knew it was a long shot.

Although you’re not attracted, her forwardness isn’t helping. If she had a different temperament and was more agreeable she might have a chance. She may not have the looks, but if she made your work experience more bearable and enjoyable, you’d notice. Especially when you’re separated.

Perhaps. While I can be a mean guy and one who even enjoys putting his foot down at times.. in contexts like these my heart is pretty open. I really.. really hate turning people down, even if they are obnoxious like her. It just ruins my whole day. While it might be hard for her to be rejected I think the emotional toll is about the same on my end.

I like seeing people happy. It bothers me to see many struggling to find companions and questioning themselves. At one point I wondered if I was expecting too much and not giving others a chance.

It’s probably subliminal guilt from societal programming. *lol*

Yeah it's telling when a woman needs to resort to more male tactics to get a guy. Women even in this day and age tend to take more of a passive role because they're the chased instead of the chasers.

Your nearness might inspire her.

I know she's not. I hear her talk to her one friend all the time about being sad about not finding a man. To her credit she was at least married once, but those days are probably gone. You're also right she probably does feel better being by me.. and me acting so nice and talking to her probably lends to her fantasizing about us being a thing.

Yeah. She’s probably lonely.

 

[DragonFox91]

I took 4 years of Spanish in high school. I want to start learning it again. I want to listen to things in Spanish, I want to watch TV in Spanish, I want to read books in Spanish. I need to immerse myself in Spanish so it becomes a second-nature....a second language if you will.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Guy-Pad: An apartment owned by a man with no books, pictures or decorations, but instead furnished almost entirely with technology, probably manufactured by Apple.

Oh yeah, that's my place, all right (and probably nearly all single guys unless they're gay - in which case of course he will be way more fashionable in home decor XD ). I do have books and pictures on the walls, too, though.


In fact, I wish I had more than one bookshelf, actually. Just not on the front burner, financially, is all.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Dang. She sounds like a man.

Hey, Miss Isaiah! That's sexist!


... I think.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Of course that woman talks to me again.. and acts like nothing happened last week. Honestly she's incredibly deluded if she thinks she's ever going to win me over. Physically she doesn't check off any of the boxes I find desirable in a woman. She's even a few years older to top it off. I don't care how much she reminds me that she is losing or is going to lose weight. Does she really think that stupid raincheck is going to warm me up to her? Even if she did lose weight she wouldn't be my type. I also think she's just built bigger. I don't have the heart to ask.. but I'm pretty sure her hands are larger than mine.

I even heard her once say say to one of her friends that since she's a bigger lady she needs a man with meat on his bones to make her feel small. I don't even fit that description. Most men do not want to be with a woman bigger than him, and the reverse is true for women. She can't deny this because this came out of her own mouth.

I really would like to know why she's so gung-ho on me. There are other men at work who are single too and honestly pretty desperate. She could just harass them. They're also taller and bigger.

As awkward as it would be, and undoubtedly it would probably hurt her feelings, you need to speak up and be absolutely frank on how you feel about her coming on to you like she does. She needs to know in plain terms that her behavior is not appreciated, and let her know that her attraction to you is not reciprocated. If not that, you would need to go to your supervisor and explain the situation and hope that they would have a talk with this woman.

I took 4 years of Spanish in high school. I want to start learning it again. I want to listen to things in Spanish, I want to watch TV in Spanish, I want to read books in Spanish. I need to immerse myself in Spanish so it becomes a second-nature....a second language if you will.

Just move to Kississmee, Florida. You'll be fluent in no time.

 

[bèlla]

Oh yeah, that's my place, all right (and probably nearly all single guys unless they're gay - in which case of course he will be way more fashionable in home decor XD ).

LOL I can’t dispute it. I don’t meet many straight men who like to decorate.

In fact, I wish I had more than one bookshelf, actually. Just not on the front burner, financially, is all.

Would you buy more books or something else?

 

[SarahsKnight]

Would you buy more books or something else?

Definitely. (More books, I mean.) And I have more books than can fit on one bookcase as it is. I determined that, no matter what kind of place I eventually settle into when I make it to Canada, I will get more bookshelves to accommodate a bigger library, or better yet, have a virtual library made right there in my home, like, floor to ceiling shelves full of books surrounding a little nook/alcove where I sit comfortably on a luxurious couch of some sort in front of a large window while reading, or something like that. ^-^