What's on your mind?

[Niels]

It is a real shame there will forever be tension between myself and women in general due to my short stature. The anger I feel isn't anywhere near the level of anger that's appropriate for the way I'm treated and mocked behind my back. I really do need to learn how to feel more.

If it bothers you so much, look for shorter women.

How tall are you?

 

[MehGuy]

If it bothers you so much, look for shorter women.

How tall are you?

It's not an issue of getting women. I still have plenty of women who are attracted too me.

Just bugs me that a large portion of women will reject me, and understandably mock shorter men behind my back. Why do I know this? Because men mock women behind their backs all the time and why would women be any nicer?

 

[Niels]

It's not an issue of getting women. I still have plenty of women who are attracted too me.

Just bugs me that a large portion of women will reject me, and understandably mock shorter men behind my back. Why do I know this? Because men mock women behind their backs all the time and why would women be any nicer?

We all have traits that somebody, somewhere, will mock. That's life. I'm not saying you have to enjoy it, but it's their problem. Not yours.

 

[MehGuy]

We all have traits that somebody, somewhere, will mock. That's life. I'm not saying you have to enjoy it, but it's their problem. Not yours.

Of course, but when it comes to attraction and respect height is very important.

There are probably other things that women mock about me behind my back but I don't see why I should be as concerned.

 

[Paulie079]

Most people will never see me in depth, out in the street I'm just a walking inferiority. Perhaps a few men like Tom Cruise are able to surpass that, but sadly not the vast majority of short guys.

Attraction is pretty big, especially concerning the relations between men and women. If someone doesn't want to spread their genetics with men who share poor qualities like short height, I don't see how they can't view us as beneath/not worthy.

I'm not saying this to try to make you feel better, but I genuinely don't think it's as big of a turnoff as you think. I know you have heard certain women say things or seen certain women write things, but they are not representative of the population as a whole. People who make commentary about others' appearances like that are obviously not acting all that kind, but I don't think you should let that color your view of all people (or in this case all women). Anger and negative emotions obviously aren't fun to experience. Unless you knew for sure that someone thought negatively of you, wouldn't you be causing yourself unnecessary turmoil to believe someone thinks less of you even though you have no idea whether or not they do? It just doesn't seem like it would be worth being consumed by those negative feelings for something that you don't know for certain. And again, I would bet my house that the overwhelming majority of women don't think less of you for being the height that you are, especially since the average female height is 5'4".

I can't help but wonder if some of this is you projecting a negative view that you have of yourself onto women as well. I'm not assuming that at all, but do you think that could be part of it?

 

[MehGuy]

I'm not saying this to try to make you feel better, but I genuinely don't think it's as big of a turnoff as you think. I know you have heard certain women say things or seen certain women write things, but they are not representative of the population as a whole. People who make commentary about others' appearances like that are obviously not acting all that kind, but I don't think you should let that color your view of all people (or in this case all women). Anger and negative emotions obviously aren't fun to experience. Unless you knew for sure that someone thought negatively of you, wouldn't you be causing yourself unnecessary turmoil to believe someone thinks less of you even though you have no idea whether or not they do? It just doesn't seem like it would be worth being consumed by those negative feelings for something that you don't know for certain. And again, I would bet my house that the majority of women don't think less of you for being the height that you are, especially since the average female height is 5'4".

I don't see how height isn't a big deal, especially when studying human sexuality/attraction. Seems like the main theme between masculinity and femininity is one takes the parent role and the other the child. One psychological boost is having a partner significantly taller than you. When it comes to literature on this topic the biggest attraction for women seems to be height and youthfulness for men.

Certainly helps to at least be a inch taller than the woman, I certainly think below 5 foot 4 inch men have it drastically worse than me. The statistics I've seen seem to indicate one takes a really severe hit below 5 foot 5 inches. Can't say I feel comfortable being close to that marker though.​

I can't help but wonder if some of this is you projecting a negative view that you have of yourself onto women as well. I'm not assuming that at all, but do you think that could be part of it?

Personally I don't really mind being short. I've never really been one to cherish masculinity. I've never really had a desire to fight people and beat each other up. I want women to be attracted to me, although I don't naturally view that through a masculine lens. If a woman likes me but doesn't view me as masculine it doesn't bother me. The sad thing is though, masculine traits do matter in the real world.

 

[justanyone]

I need someone to talk to badly. I have a lot on my mind and feeling depressed

 

[Rigatoni]

I need someone to talk to badly. I have a lot on my mind and feeling depressed maybe suicide.

Please visit the Faithful Counseling website and contact one of the staff members as soon as possible. The CF forums recently teamed up with them; they're fellow Christians who are licensed in therapy, and can help with whatever is going on: Faithful Counseling

 

[MehGuy]

Wow, Google's new AI is scary.

Sadly this might replace millions of jobs. One thing about AI, people think of robots replacing construction workers but AI software will probably mainly hit white collar jobs first. Who knows might live to see the government offer a free basic universal income. That'd be cool.. are great grandchildren might have no need to ever have a job.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[justanyone]

Please take Anthony7's advice. Trained professionals are better than random strangers on the internet.

I don't want anything to happen to you if you really are feeling suicidal.

Counseling cost money, I would prefer to message someone in private.

 

[PeachieKeen]

It is a real shame there will forever be tension between myself and women in general due to my short stature. The anger I feel isn't anywhere near the level of anger that's appropriate for the way I'm treated and mocked behind my back. I really do need to learn how to feel more.

Totally understand that there will always be people who are jerks, but this is a picture of my fiance and I the other day:

Sure people still joke sometimes that I look like his mom, but at the end of the day I'm super attracted to him and he's super attracted to me and thankfully other people's opinions will not be a part of our relationship, or marriage, or our bedroom.

People will always be stupid about one thing or another.. Just think of it as a great litmus test showing you people you probably don't want to hang out with because they're basic and petty.

 

[MehGuy]

Totally understand that there will always be people who are jerks, but this is a picture of my fiance and I the other day:
View attachment 228497

Sure people still joke sometimes that I look like his mom, but at the end of the day I'm super attracted to him and he's super attracted to me and thankfully other people's opinions will not be a part of our relationship, or marriage, or our bedroom.

People will always be stupid about one thing or another.. Just think of it as a great litmus test showing you people you probably don't want to hang out with because they're basic and petty.

That's not nice. Even when a short man is happy in a relationship people try to tear him down.

If you don't mind me asking, how tall are you two?

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[PeachieKeen]

That's not nice. Even when a short man is happy in a relationship people try to tear him down.

If you don't mind me asking, how tall are you two?

I'm 5'10 and he's 5'7. I was wearing about 5 inch heels at this event.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[MehGuy]

I'm 5'10 and he's 5'7. I was wearing about 5 inch heels at this event.

Hmm.. I always thought you were above 6 feet. Guess he's the same height as me.

Does he wears lifts to compensate with the heels? That seems to be a semi solution to the great heel problem.

I've been thinking about buying some lifts, then again they're just an illusion. But it would be interesting to see if I'm treated a little differently in public.

 

[PeachieKeen]

Hmm.. I always thought you were above 6 feet. Guess he's the same height as me.

Does he wears lifts to compensate with the heels? That seems to be a semi solution to the great heel problem.

I've been thinking about buying some lifts, then again they're just an illusion. But it would be interesting to see if I'm treated a little differently in public.

Definitely was over 6 feet that night!! Haha

He doesn't wear lifts or anything. Honestly we were both a lot more bothered by people making fun of our heights before we met than we are now. Now that we have each other it really doesn't matter if anyone finds us attractive or not. And functionally there's no need for a guy to be taller nowadays.

 

[MehGuy]

If you found the love of your life and you're happy together, why do other people's opinions matter? You beat them at their own dating game by finding someone accepting of your flaws so I don't see why other people raging over your height will matter anymore.

Why not? I don't base my self esteem on whether or not I can get a woman. Plenty of women like me, doesn't help me feel better about my height situation.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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