What should I do about this?

[Neostarwcc]

So yesterday night I found out that food stamps is going to force my wife to work because she's not disabled like I am. Lets forget our "archaic" Reformed beliefs and how she would rather not work to obey God than to work and displease God.. What I'm ailed about is, I can't be left alone because of my disability (I'm schizophrenic and Bipolar) the last time my wife tried working I completely lost it and she had to quit her job.

But apparently "my wife takes care of me" is not a valid defense with them. I cannot afford to feed her without her share of food stamps coming in because I would get less than $120 to try to feed her with. I don't really have "side" money because that's set aside for church and my monthly contributions to charity and my bills (I only get $810 ish in SSI) I don't know what to do and I feel like a failure. It's my job to make sure my wife is fed and taken care of and I'm failing at it miserably. God said those who cannot take care of their household are worse than infidels and he is right.

I'd love to work myself but, I honestly can't. It's unpredictable when I'll go off and sometimes I'm manic for up to a year at a time. Nobody can hire somebody like that. It's just... hopeless.

 

[Albion]

Are your spending priorities in order? Wife unfed...but you're able to give to several charities?

I cannot afford to feed her without her share of food stamps coming in because I would get less than $120 to try to feed her with. I don't really have "side" money because that's set aside for church and my monthly contributions to charity and my bills (I only get $810 ish in SSI) I don't know what to do and I feel like a failure. It's my job to make sure my wife is fed and taken care of and I'm failing at it miserably.

 

[pdudgeon]

Can your wife work from home?
What kind of work does she do, that it can't be done from home in these days?
Have you tried getting a note from your doctor that says your disability requires you to have personal care at home, and that your wife is the provider of that care?
Sounds like to me like your care requirements need to be re-evaluated by SS.
They will do that, btw, and chances are good that the evaluation will result in an increased disability level of compensation.
So contact your local SS office, and make an in-office appointment to discuss this with them.
Best wishes!

 

[Neostarwcc]

Are your spending priorities in order? Wife unfed...but you're able to give to several charities?

Right now they are because we both get food stamps a total of $364 a month. But July will be different. If she doesn't work I'll get significantly less and might have to budget money away from charity or worse, ask for help from them.

I mean if I have to, I have to. But I'm supposed to support charities and my wife not mooch off of them.

 

[Neostarwcc]

Can your wife work from home?
What kind of work does she do, that it can't be done from home in these days?
Have you tried getting a note from your doctor that says your disability requires you to have personal care at home, and that your wife is the provider of that care?
Sounds like to me like your care requirements need to be re-evaluated by SS.
They will do that, btw, and chances are good that the evaluation will result in an increased disability level of compensation.
So contact your local SS office, and make an in-office appointment to discuss this with them.
Best wishes!

I can't see how. We live in a really small town and there's basically 0 jobs here let alone a work from home one. My wife hasn't worked ever except when we dated she worked at a grocery store here in town. She didn't leave with them on good terms (I asked her to quit and like I said I was going loopy) so she would never get a reference from them.

She went to college but dropped out in her 4th year because she met me lol.

I think It's because New York state law is changing and they're forcing the spouses of disabled people to work if they're going to be placed on food stamps. I actually might not even be getting a check from SSI in a few years too. They're talked that way during my re evaluation last year.

That makes me worry. If I can't get ssi or a job we wouldn't have anything coming in and that means less money for those who need it too. I mean, don't get me wrong I'm poor but I'm not THAT poor. But... I am worried about that despite them giving me ssi for a lifelong mental illness. It's not like there's a cure you know? Social services is calling her in a week or two. I'll talk to them about my concerns because, my parents can't look after me anymore. My dad is in his 70s now and my mom in her mid 60s. They're too old to watch me and make sure I'm okay.

 

[Jeffwhosoever]

Do you have any wheat pennies? I spent time last summer sorting through mine and selling them on Ebay. Also have you heard of crypto mining? I know some guys a lot younger than me who make their rent money or about $200 a month on bitcoin or some form of cypto mining but you have to invest in the right PC with a good graphics card so it isn't without an up front cost. Its just an example to demonstrate there are ways to work from home you might not have thought about.

I think there are jobs that now can be done 100% from home. My wife's job has allowed her to work from home since COVID-19 began, and like you I'm totally disabled but I have social security disability and private work disability so not on SSI like you. I think a lot of jobs are out there for online work and it doens't matter where you are located, as long as you have a computer and internet access.

Rather than worry, why not explore the options and see? In between, keep your mind in Scripture and ask the Lord to help you though this to a long term answer. Also be sure of how you are spending your money. While it is good to contribute to charity, your first priority is your family. All within reason, and let the Lord help you figure this out, through prayer and seeking answers in Scripture, but spend your time wisely and seek solutions instead of worrying which only makes you suffer worse and accomplished literally nothing.

 

[EmethAlethia]

So yesterday night I found out that food stamps is going to force my wife to work because she's not disabled like I am. Lets forget our "archaic" Reformed beliefs and how she would rather not work to obey God than to work and displease God.. What I'm ailed about is, I can't be left alone because of my disability (I'm schizophrenic and Bipolar) the last time my wife tried working I completely lost it and she had to quit her job.

But apparently "my wife takes care of me" is not a valid defense with them. I cannot afford to feed her without her share of food stamps coming in because I would get less than $120 to try to feed her with. I don't really have "side" money because that's set aside for church and my monthly contributions to charity and my bills (I only get $810 ish in SSI) I don't know what to do and I feel like a failure. It's my job to make sure my wife is fed and taken care of and I'm failing at it miserably. God said those who cannot take care of their household are worse than infidels and he is right.

I'd love to work myself but, I honestly can't. It's unpredictable when I'll go off and sometimes I'm manic for up to a year at a time. Nobody can hire somebody like that. It's just... hopeless.

 

[EmethAlethia]

Let's cover this part first. "I don't really have "side" money because that's set aside for church and my monthly contributions to charity." Your "Desire" to give to outside sources is a good thing. But God commands you not to give regardless of your desires to meet the needs of your own household, and you should never give to the point where your family has need, even if you swore to give it to the churches and charities.

"2Co 8:10 I give my opinion in this matter, for this is to your advantage, who were the first to begin a year ago not only to do this, but also to desire to do it. 11 But now finish doing it also, so that just as there was the readiness to desire it, so there may be also the completion of it by your ability. 12 For if the readiness is present, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have. 13 For this is not for the ease of others and for your affliction, but by way of equality-- 14 at this present time your abundance being a supply for their need, so that their abundance also may become a supply for your need, that there may be equality; 15 as it is written, "HE WHO gathered MUCH DID NOT HAVE TOO MUCH, AND HE WHO gathered LITTLE HAD NO LACK."

As a matter of fact, they should be giving to you. Let's go a bit further. Say those people tell you that you should honor your commitment to God and give even if you can't feed your own family ... Here's the problem. God commands you to take care of them regardless of what men say otherwise, and if they do this it proves they are ignorant of the commandments of God and are nullifying the commandments of God to keep their own teachings instead,

Mat 15:5 "But you say, 'Whoever says to his father or mother, "Whatever I have that would help you has been given to God," 6 he is not to honor his father or his mother.' And by this you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition. 7 "You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you: 8 'THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS, BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME. 9 'BUT IN VAIN DO THEY WORSHIP ME, TEACHING AS DOCTRINES THE PRECEPTS OF MEN.'"

You have a commandment of God that supersedes everything else.

1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

No, that does not mean that you provide her gold rings, a new Mercedes ...

1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

 

[Neostarwcc]

Let's cover this part first. "I don't really have "side" money because that's set aside for church and my monthly contributions to charity." Your "Desire" to give to outside sources is a good thing. But God commands you not to give regardless of your desires to meet the needs of your own household, and you should never give to the point where your family has need, even if you swore to give it to the churches and charities.

"2Co 8:10 I give my opinion in this matter, for this is to your advantage, who were the first to begin a year ago not only to do this, but also to desire to do it. 11 But now finish doing it also, so that just as there was the readiness to desire it, so there may be also the completion of it by your ability. 12 For if the readiness is present, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have. 13 For this is not for the ease of others and for your affliction, but by way of equality-- 14 at this present time your abundance being a supply for their need, so that their abundance also may become a supply for your need, that there may be equality; 15 as it is written, "HE WHO gathered MUCH DID NOT HAVE TOO MUCH, AND HE WHO gathered LITTLE HAD NO LACK."

As a matter of fact, they should be giving to you. Let's go a bit further. Say those people tell you that you should honor your commitment to God and give even if you can't feed your own family ... Here's the problem. God commands you to take care of them regardless of what men say otherwise, and if they do this it proves they are ignorant of the commandments of God and are nullifying the commandments of God to keep their own teachings instead,

Mat 15:5 "But you say, 'Whoever says to his father or mother, "Whatever I have that would help you has been given to God," 6 he is not to honor his father or his mother.' And by this you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition. 7 "You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you: 8 'THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS, BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME. 9 'BUT IN VAIN DO THEY WORSHIP ME, TEACHING AS DOCTRINES THE PRECEPTS OF MEN.'"

You have a commandment of God that supersedes everything else.

1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

No, that does not mean that you provide her gold rings, a new Mercedes ...

1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

I wouldn't really feel right taking money from charity. Not just my ego and pride but, I've given so much to charity over the years helping them help other people that, I would feel like that's my calling and would feel horrible taking money back from them, you know? I hope I'm making sense.

I mean, I already mooch enough off of the Government by getting SSI, food stamps, and rental assistance in the first place. But, I could not possibly live without them my rent alone is $500 let alone food, clothing and whatnot. So, what would be having the Salvation Army helping out or something. I already buy our Clothes from there and local Catholic charities in town. Don't see the difference.

But I am realizing that I cannot possibly feed two people on that low of food stamps and right now, we owe a lot of money which I regret doing but didn't know this would happen.

My mother could help but she wants my wife to work and has been getting on her to get a job ever since she quit her job. But on that topic, I sent a E-mail to my Pastor yesterday, hoping he responds today but he is rather busy. I was going to talk to him Sunday about it but he was busy this Sunday after church was over.

But, you're right I have to take care of my household anyway I can. We'll see what my pastor says I suppose.

 

[Neostarwcc]

Do you have any wheat pennies? I spent time last summer sorting through mine and selling them on Ebay. Also have you heard of crypto mining? I know some guys a lot younger than me who make their rent money or about $200 a month on bitcoin or some form of cypto mining but you have to invest in the right PC with a good graphics card so it isn't without an up front cost. Its just an example to demonstrate there are ways to work from home you might not have thought about.

I think there are jobs that now can be done 100% from home. My wife's job has allowed her to work from home since COVID-19 began, and like you I'm totally disabled but I have social security disability and private work disability so not on SSI like you. I think a lot of jobs are out there for online work and it doens't matter where you are located, as long as you have a computer and internet access.

Rather than worry, why not explore the options and see? In between, keep your mind in Scripture and ask the Lord to help you though this to a long term answer. Also be sure of how you are spending your money. While it is good to contribute to charity, your first priority is your family. All within reason, and let the Lord help you figure this out, through prayer and seeking answers in Scripture, but spend your time wisely and seek solutions instead of worrying which only makes you suffer worse and accomplished literally nothing.

Thank you I will look around. I do have a good computer and am into computers. Heard of Cryptomining but I've never done it before.

 

[Jeffwhosoever]

I wouldn't really feel right taking money from charity. Not just my ego and pride but, I've given so much to charity over the years helping them help other people that, I would feel like that's my calling and would feel horrible taking money back from them, you know? I hope I'm making sense.

I mean, I already mooch enough off of the Government by getting SSI, food stamps, and rental assistance in the first place. But, I could not possibly live without them my rent alone is $500 let alone food, clothing and whatnot. So, what would be having the Salvation Army helping out or something. I already buy our Clothes from there and local Catholic charities in town. Don't see the difference.

But I am realizing that I cannot possibly feed two people on that low of food stamps and right now, we owe a lot of money which I regret doing but didn't know this would happen.

My mother could help but she wants my wife to work and has been getting on her to get a job ever since she quit her job. But on that topic, I sent a E-mail to my Pastor yesterday, hoping he responds today but he is rather busy. I was going to talk to him Sunday about it but he was busy this Sunday after church was over.

But, you're right I have to take care of my household anyway I can. We'll see what my pastor says I suppose.

How much are you giving to charity? Either in dollars or in percent of your total income. Let's see what you are talking about first.

Your ego and pride have no place in giving, not does having a track record of giving. Your first responsibility is your family. You are indirectly refusing the SSI that you have been getting, and you don't get SSI unless you are living below the poverty line. Do you know how much income tax the billionaires Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, Elan Musk of Tesla, and Warren Buffet according to news paid in taxes last year? ZERO. Not a dime. And you living below poverty feel guilty about giving away your wife's dinner to a stranger? If you owe people money and are not paying them you are in a way stealing from them to pay someone to feed this ego need or reputation need of yours to be a external provider which I won't call a sin but it isn't doing things right in my view.

You aren't talking about not feeding the homeless in order to buy your wife a new 2 carot diamond rignt. You are talking about not providing enough to eat and be healthy and not become a worse burden on the financial system though being undernourished which leads to illness and disease if this goes on very long, so it could be seen as irresponsible of you to spend money the goverment (and ultimatey the Lord) to retain a reputation as a charitable person, when in fact that money isn't yours to give away. The government, taxpayers like me, gave it to you to take care of your family and financial needs and until those needs are met, you are stealing from your family to satisfiy someone else's needs we don't know a thing about and might not exist. What if you found out your wife is eating low quality food and developing heart disease that can cost million dollars down the road to treat or turn her into a diabetic with similar costs all to give a bit of money to someone you are not responsible for who for all you know could be using the money in ways you wouldn't approve? What if that money for your wife's salad or can of beans was being used to buy drugs or beer or to gamble on lottery tickets? I'm not saying its anything that horrible or evil, but you really do not know how they might be spending your donated money.

Now if you earned $300,000 a year of income and after paying all your bills, saving for your retirement, and ensuring your wife and other dependents you might have are secure in their future costs, then you had $20,000 to donate to a church who feeds the homeless or helps in other meaningful ways, that is a different picture. But here you are diverting money given to take care of your family to someone else, and that is really a misuse of taxpayer money intended to care (and marginally so since it is SSI). And all because of your ego and pride? Those are not good reasons. I hope I've got this all wrong, but you haven't given us much to work with here so feel free to elaborate and give us a better accounting of what you are spending on family vs. charity, and what charity and how they use it, because it does not sound like you are doing the right thing from a top level view, so let's hear more about this situation, and we can try to be give you brotherly and sisterly advice in the Lord.