What or who is a Christian?

[Napoleon215]

I’m curious about how the term "Christian" is defined. I’ve been told by Christians that in order to be a Christian one must believe in God and in the divinity of Christ. I’m agnostic in the sense that I have no personal belief as to whether there is or is not a God in the traditional sense of the word, but I respect religion as an important aspect of human civilization. I also believe that Jesus was worshipped as God, and to me, by my definition of Divinity, I would say Jesus was Divine, if anything was or is. I do not reject or condemn his death on the cross, but I also consider it a myth. I am not sure if it is historically accurate or not.

I do not claim to have the answers, nor do I explicitly deny any of the essential doctrines of the Church. My views are not very sophisticated or based on rigorous study. I’m open to other perspectives, even beyond the question of whether or not I am a Christian.

I am not a follower of Christ, because I’m not sure that it’s possible to be one, but I admire his life and message. I acknowledge that Christianity has been used for both good and evil throughout history; I am influenced by Christian Democracy as a political philosophy to be clear, and for me, Christianity as it has developed seems to have deeply humanist views, at least comparatively.

Christianity is a beautiful and complex religion that I do not fully understand, but respect.

I believe that religion is a deeply rooted aspect of human civilization, and that our very understanding of the world itself as well as relation to others depends on it. A system of beliefs and practices, worship, adoration, beauty. community, and virtue; there seems to me a deep human need for these things at least in some capacity. Christianity stands out to me because of Jesus; his death on the cross for our sins, and his call for us to repent and turn away from the evil in the world - the evil that we stare at in the mirror, and the evil that has plagued every empire, every region, every city, and every person since the beginning of human civilization. I strongly condemn this evil as I admit I have no choose but to try and fight it within myself and within the world, I cannot choose not to speak out against things like the humanitarian crisis in North Korea.
I cannot sit idly by when I know that members of my extended human family are suffering because of our own sinfulness.

Please, whatever responses I receive, no matter how critical and no matter how honest and serious, please respect me and yourself as a result of extending such grace and profound understanding, thank you, my friend.

 

[Fervent]

I started out in a similar place, though I was inclined to accept the existence of God simply because I saw no reason (or honest avenue) to question it. The thing about the historicity of the gospel narratives is that the crucifixion is one of the more attested to facts about ancient history, so questioning it generally comes from a place of antagonism rather than honest skepticism. The crucial part is the resurrection, which from my investigation the most parsimonious explanation of the surrounding evidence is that there was some genuineness to the claim. The only potentially viable candidate besides the resurrection actually happening seems to be the legendary hypothesis, but the legend would have to have developed in a way that no other legend has ever developed both in the temporal proximity and in the initial completeness that the resurrection claim came in. There's no evidence of a gradual development of legendary elements, the resurrection is one of the oldest verifiable claims about Jesus and is in my view the best explanation for the rapid spread of the belief. And if the resurrection is true, Jesus' claims about Himself become a lot more credible in light of it.

 

[Napoleon215]

I’m curious about how the term "Christian" is defined. I’ve been told by Christians that in order to be a Christian one must believe in God and in the divinity of Christ. I’m agnostic in the sense that I have no personal belief as to whether there is or is not a God in the traditional sense of the word, but I respect religion as an important aspect of human civilization. I also believe that Jesus was worshipped as God, and to me, by my definition of Divinity, I would say Jesus was Divine, if anything was or is. I do not reject or condemn his death on the cross, but I also consider it a myth. I am not sure if it is historically accurate or not.

I do not claim to have the answers, nor do I explicitly deny any of the essential doctrines of the Church. My views are not very sophisticated or based on rigorous study. I’m open to other perspectives, even beyond the question of whether or not I am a Christian.

I am not a follower of Christ, because I’m not sure that it’s possible to be one, but I admire his life and message. I acknowledge that Christianity has been used for both good and evil throughout history; I am influenced by Christian Democracy as a political philosophy to be clear, and for me, Christianity as it has developed seems to have deeply humanist views, at least comparatively.

Christianity is a beautiful and complex religion that I do not fully understand, but respect.

I believe that religion is a deeply rooted aspect of human civilization, and that our very understanding of the world itself as well as relation to others depends on it. A system of beliefs and practices, worship, adoration, beauty. community, and virtue; there seems to me a deep human need for these things at least in some capacity. Christianity stands out to me because of Jesus; his death on the cross for our sins, and his call for us to repent and turn away from the evil in the world - the evil that we stare at in the mirror, and the evil that has plagued every empire, every region, every city, and every person since the beginning of human civilization. I strongly condemn this evil as I admit I have no choose but to try and fight it within myself and within the world, I cannot choose not to speak out against things like the humanitarian crisis in North Korea.
I cannot sit idly by when I know that members of my extended human family are suffering because of our own sinfulness.

Please, whatever responses I receive, no matter how critical and no matter how honest and serious, please respect me and yourself as a result of extending such grace and profound understanding, thank you, my friend.

I meant to say “choice”, that was a very bizarre mistake, my bad.

 

[HTacianas]

I’m curious about how the term "Christian" is defined. I’ve been told by Christians that in order to be a Christian one must believe in God and in the divinity of Christ. I’m agnostic in the sense that I have no personal belief as to whether there is or is not a God in the traditional sense of the word, but I respect religion as an important aspect of human civilization. I also believe that Jesus was worshipped as God, and to me, by my definition of Divinity, I would say Jesus was Divine, if anything was or is. I do not reject or condemn his death on the cross, but I also consider it a myth. I am not sure if it is historically accurate or not.

I do not claim to have the answers, nor do I explicitly deny any of the essential doctrines of the Church. My views are not very sophisticated or based on rigorous study. I’m open to other perspectives, even beyond the question of whether or not I am a Christian.

I am not a follower of Christ, because I’m not sure that it’s possible to be one, but I admire his life and message. I acknowledge that Christianity has been used for both good and evil throughout history; I am influenced by Christian Democracy as a political philosophy to be clear, and for me, Christianity as it has developed seems to have deeply humanist views, at least comparatively.

Christianity is a beautiful and complex religion that I do not fully understand, but respect.

I believe that religion is a deeply rooted aspect of human civilization, and that our very understanding of the world itself as well as relation to others depends on it. A system of beliefs and practices, worship, adoration, beauty. community, and virtue; there seems to me a deep human need for these things at least in some capacity. Christianity stands out to me because of Jesus; his death on the cross for our sins, and his call for us to repent and turn away from the evil in the world - the evil that we stare at in the mirror, and the evil that has plagued every empire, every region, every city, and every person since the beginning of human civilization. I strongly condemn this evil as I admit I have no choose but to try and fight it within myself and within the world, I cannot choose not to speak out against things like the humanitarian crisis in North Korea.
I cannot sit idly by when I know that members of my extended human family are suffering because of our own sinfulness.

Please, whatever responses I receive, no matter how critical and no matter how honest and serious, please respect me and yourself as a result of extending such grace and profound understanding, thank you, my friend.

A Christian is, as you said firstly, someone who believes in God, who believes in and accepts the sacrifice of Christ for the forgiveness of previous sins, is baptized in water, and has been baptized with the Holy Spirit through the laying on of hands of a successor to the Apostles. The writer to the Hebrews spelled out the "elementary principles" of Christianity when he wrote:

Heb 6:1 ... the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God,

Heb 6:2 of the doctrine of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.

The other things you mention we can discuss further if you like. But one note, there is no reason not to believe in the crucifixion of Jesus. You may not believe all the rest of it, but the idea of a Jewish rabbi being crucified by the Romans was a fairly common occurrence in those days.

 

[Napoleon215]

I started out in a similar place, though I was inclined to accept the existence of God simply because I saw no reason (or honest avenue) to question it. The thing about the historicity of the gospel narratives is that the crucifixion is one of the more attested to facts about ancient history, so questioning it generally comes from a place of antagonism rather than honest skepticism. The crucial part is the resurrection, which from my investigation the most parsimonious explanation of the surrounding evidence is that there was some genuineness to the claim. The only potentially viable candidate besides the resurrection actually happening seems to be the legendary hypothesis, but the legend would have to have developed in a way that no other legend has ever developed both in the temporal proximity and in the initial completeness that the resurrection claim came in. There's no evidence of a gradual development of legendary elements, the resurrection is one of the oldest verifiable claims about Jesus and is in my view the best explanation for the rapid spread of the belief. And if the resurrection is true, Jesus' claims about Himself become a lot more credible in light of it.

I see what you’re saying. Thanks for being both respectful and honest. Your response was helpful, but ultimately it doesn’t do much to help me conceptualize it in a different way.

The gospels are certainly interesting, but much in the same way that you said you don’t see much of a reason to doubt God’s existence, I often struggle to see much of a reason not to; at least not in the same way that I doubt my own consciousness.

We live in a very bizarre world, and to me, it’s certainly altogether possible that God does exist, and that Jesus was God. I think that part is settled, the part that is not settled however is whether that is capable of being “proven”, and to be frank, I’m not sure it’s possible to take it for granted as truth; nothing seems to be as lies are practically inescapable and we are complex enough not to fully trust ourselves or ability to understand the world.

At the same time, I don’t reject the fact that the gospels could’ve been true, and I certainly don’t count them as being false even If I don’t know anything about the historical accuracy of these things. I know what I know, and I don’t know what I don’t know. And so, for me there’s this sense in which I have to be careful not to reject anything, and to be very careful when adopting new ideas; I want to avoid false judgement.

Thanks for reading what I wrote, and actually responding; that means a lot to me, and I respect you a lot for it.

 

[Napoleon215]

A Christian is, as you said firstly, someone who believes in God, who believes in and accepts the sacrifice of Christ for the forgiveness of previous sins, is baptized in water, and has been baptized with the Holy Spirit through the laying on of hands of a successor to the Apostles. The writer to the Hebrews spelled out the "elementary principles" of Christianity when he wrote:

Heb 6:1 ... the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God,

Heb 6:2 of the doctrine of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.

The other things you mention we can discuss further if you like. But one note, there is no reason not to believe in the crucifixion of Jesus. You may not believe all the rest of it, but the idea of a Jewish rabbi being crucified by the Romans was a fairly common occurrence in those days.

This I am not a Christian? Interesting, and thanks so much for responding! I really appreciate what you had to say - I don’t know that I have no reason not to believe in the crucifixion of Jesus; I can conceptualize it, and understand it to be true, but I have no way of verifying that it is or is not true. Thus, I say what I do know, and I do not pay attention to what I do not know. I pray and say what needs to be said, and I do not say what I do not know needs to be said. Thanks so much for reading!

 

[Fervent]

I see what you’re saying. Thanks for being both respectful and honest. Your response was helpful, but ultimately it doesn’t do much to help me conceptualize it in a different way.

The gospels are certainly interesting, but much in the same way that you said you don’t see much of a reason to doubt God’s existence, I often struggle to see much of a reason not to; at least not in the same way that I doubt my own consciousness.

We live in a very bizarre world, and to me, it’s certainly altogether possible that God does exist, and that Jesus was God. I think that part is settled, the part that is not settled however is whether that is capable of being “proven”, and to be frank, I’m not sure it’s possible to take it for granted as truth; nothing seems to be as lies are practically inescapable and we are complex enough not to fully trust ourselves or ability to understand the world.

At the same time, I don’t reject the fact that the gospels could’ve been true, and I certainly don’t count them as being false even If I don’t know anything about the historical accuracy of these things. I know what I know, and I don’t know what I don’t know. And so, for me there’s this sense in which I have to be careful not to reject anything, and to be very careful when adopting new ideas; I want to avoid false judgement.

Thanks for reading what I wrote, and actually responding; that means a lot to me, and I respect you a lot for it.

Ultimately, there's not a whole lot that can be proven in any way and what we're left with is a need to rely on faith at some point. Or else live a completely unworkable life where we question everything that is not immediately present to our senses. Can we prove that other minds exist? Or that our memories are in any way accurate? Or even that what we are seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, and smelling is what actually is? What Christ calls for is not certainty, but faith. That is not to say there aren't logical arguments or other ways we can reinforce our faith, but there's not really a way to have no opinion on the existence or non-existence of God since the question involves ontological and epistemic foundations. There's little difference between an agnostic disposition to disbelieve and a belief held in faith, and skepticism and credulity are necessary for any liveable framework.

 

[Lost Witness]

the Holy Spirit through the laying on of hands of a successor to the Apostles

Also baptism by the LORD through prayer - no laying on of hands or baptism of water needed just a sincere heart having come to the end of ones self is sufficient

 

[Lost Witness]

This I am not a Christian? Interesting, and thanks so much for responding! I really appreciate what you had to say - I don’t know that I have no reason not to believe in the crucifixion of Jesus; I can conceptualize it, and understand it to be true, but I have no way of verifying that it is or is not true. Thus, I say what I do know, and I do not pay attention to what I do not know. I pray and say what needs to be said, and I do not say what I do not know needs to be said. Thanks so much for reading!

Then simply ask him to reveal himself to you. You might just be surprised

 

[Napoleon215]

Ultimately, there's not a whole lot that can be proven in any way and what we're left with is a need to rely on faith at some point. Or else live a completely unworkable life where we question everything that is not immediately present to our senses. Can we prove that other minds exist? Or that our memories are in any way accurate? Or even that what we are seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, and smelling is what actually is? What Christ calls for is not certainty, but faith. That is not to say there aren't logical arguments or other ways we can reinforce our faith, but there's not really a way to have no opinion on the existence or non-existence of God since the question involves ontological and epistemic foundations. There's little difference between an agnostic disposition to disbelieve and a belief held in faith, and skepticism and credulity are necessary for any liveable framework.

I somehow lost what I was saying because I had to leave the website for a minute, I’m really sorry. Anyway, I was saying that we cannot start basing our definition of “believe” on our actions, because it’s impossible for us to “believe” anything with our minds; we cannot trust our minds and ability to reason that much, and even though our actions are indicators of our beliefs, none of us live as though we believe God does or does not exist. I like this famous quote that is attributed to Voltaire: "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him"

 

[HTacianas]

Also baptism by the LORD through prayer - no laying on of hands or baptism of water needed just a sincere heart having come to the end of ones self is sufficient

That isn't "biblical", so to say.

 

[Ivan Hlavanda]

Christian is a person whose all sins are forgiven in Christ. When Jesus says, you are forgiven, you are mine, that moment a person becomes a Christian.

This person then will resemble Christ more and more, and be restored in what God made him/her to be, and that is an image of God (reflecting His glory back to Him).

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I’m curious about how the term "Christian" is defined. I’ve been told by Christians that in order to be a Christian one must believe in God and in the divinity of Christ. I’m agnostic in the sense that I have no personal belief as to whether there is or is not a God in the traditional sense of the word, but I respect religion as an important aspect of human civilization. I also believe that Jesus was worshipped as God, and to me, by my definition of Divinity, I would say Jesus was Divine, if anything was or is. I do not reject or condemn his death on the cross, but I also consider it a myth. I am not sure if it is historically accurate or not.

I do not claim to have the answers, nor do I explicitly deny any of the essential doctrines of the Church. My views are not very sophisticated or based on rigorous study. I’m open to other perspectives, even beyond the question of whether or not I am a Christian.

I am not a follower of Christ, because I’m not sure that it’s possible to be one, but I admire his life and message. I acknowledge that Christianity has been used for both good and evil throughout history; I am influenced by Christian Democracy as a political philosophy to be clear, and for me, Christianity as it has developed seems to have deeply humanist views, at least comparatively.

Christianity is a beautiful and complex religion that I do not fully understand, but respect.

I believe that religion is a deeply rooted aspect of human civilization, and that our very understanding of the world itself as well as relation to others depends on it. A system of beliefs and practices, worship, adoration, beauty. community, and virtue; there seems to me a deep human need for these things at least in some capacity. Christianity stands out to me because of Jesus; his death on the cross for our sins, and his call for us to repent and turn away from the evil in the world - the evil that we stare at in the mirror, and the evil that has plagued every empire, every region, every city, and every person since the beginning of human civilization. I strongly condemn this evil as I admit I have no choose but to try and fight it within myself and within the world, I cannot choose not to speak out against things like the humanitarian crisis in North Korea.
I cannot sit idly by when I know that members of my extended human family are suffering because of our own sinfulness.

Please, whatever responses I receive, no matter how critical and no matter how honest and serious, please respect me and yourself as a result of extending such grace and profound understanding, thank you, my friend.

How is the term "Christian" defined? That'll depend upon whom you ask, I suppose, won't it? Personally, I'm not going to give you a definition of my own; instead, I'll just say that I think it's my job hermeneutically and historically to try to cull out which criteria the earliest Christians would have deemed necessary for a substantive definition. Existentially speaking, what else would I go with or do?

Honestly though, if Jesus' death on a cross is all merely myth---and if its the same case for much of the content we find in the New Testament---then there isn't much there for me to respect. I only respect the historical personage as He was, and if it turns out He didn't actually die on a cross with a specific purpose or meaning (or rise from the dead for that matter), then the best I can do is see Jesus as a positivistic philosopher who went around preaching a message of care, a sort of early "ethics of care." Such a form of teaching is useful but not something that would compel me to worship Jesus as a divine being.

Subjectively, much of what we think about Jesus will come down to how we individually decide to apply our minds to scholarly study. Then again, if He's real, I'd also like to think a bit of prayer would be helpful in getting us to a point in understanding what a "Christian" is supposed to be.

Does it matter what my definition of a Christian would be if I had one?

 

[d taylor]

-
​

A christian (in this day and age) is one who follows Christ (Jesus), Jesus's teaching that are in The Bible (new testament)

Now this person may or may not be a believer, a born again child of God. But they may just follow the teachings of Jesus. But a christian may also be a believer a born again child of God.

Now also, there may be people who are a born again child of God, but are not following Christ. They may have moved away from following Christ, like the second soil in the parable of the soils.

 

[Fervent]

I somehow lost what I was saying because I had to leave the website for a minute, I’m really sorry. Anyway, I was saying that we cannot start basing our definition of “believe” on our actions, because it’s impossible for us to “believe” anything with our minds; we cannot trust our minds and ability to reason that much, and even though our actions are indicators of our beliefs, none of us live as though we believe God does or does not exist. I like this famous quote that is attributed to Voltaire: "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him"

I don't really agree that we can't base our definition of belief in our actions, though I agree that we can't fully trust our ability to reason for this question. I also disagree that none of us live as though we believe God does or does not exist. If we believe He exists, we pray to Him and listen for His response, we search the Scripture when we need answers, the things we trust will be drastically different depending on if we believe God exists or doesn't exist. There would be no sense worrying about an ultimate morality if we did not believe God existed, which is somewhat covered by the Voltaire quote (though I believe he was more looking at the usefulness of religion in controlling the masses). If we do not believe that God exists, there is no reason to stress moral living since morality is ultimately a mostly arbitrary cultural convention. As Dostoyevsky put it "If God is dead then everything is permitted."

 

[Vanellus]

There is a difference between believing Jesus rose from the dead and that (say) it rained on a particular day at a particular place given that rain happens often (but not every day) at this place. Let's say that it rains there once every two days on average: probability = 0.5 or 50%.

But what is the probability of someone rising from the dead? According to known medical science and historical knowledge it is close to or even actually zero. This is a genuine difficulty for the non believer. Christianity demands believing something which it is entirely reasonable to think is impossible. To regard it as possible one has to accept that God does exist: and that is God as described in the Bible.

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Mt 19:26 though Jesus here was talking about whether a rich man can enter the kingdom of heaven - and on average we are so much richer now than then.

We read in the NT that those who are reported to have seen the risen Jesus lived the rest of their lives as if they believed that Jesus did rise from the dead. That is evidence rather than proof. So, as has already been stated an act of faith is required - may I say a leap of faith.

 

[Napoleon215]

How is the term "Christian" defined? That'll depend upon whom you ask, I suppose, won't it? Personally, I'm not going to give you a definition of my own; instead, I'll just say that I think it's my job hermeneutically and historically to try to cull out which criteria the earliest Christians would have deemed necessary for a substantive definition. Existentially speaking, what else would I go with or do?

Honestly though, if Jesus' death on a cross is all merely myth---and if its the same case for much of the content we find in the New Testament---then there isn't much there for me to respect. I only respect the historical personage as He was, and if it turns out He didn't actually die on a cross with a specific purpose or meaning (or rise from the dead for that matter), then the best I can do is see Jesus as a positivistic philosopher who went around preaching a message of care, a sort of early "ethics of care." Such a form of teaching is useful but not something that would compel me to worship Jesus as a divine being.

Subjectively, much of what we think about Jesus will come down to how we individually decide to apply our minds to scholarly study. Then again, if He's real, I'd also like to think a bit of prayer would be helpful in getting us to a point in understanding what a "Christian" is supposed to be.

Does it matter what my definition of a Christian would be if I had one?

Thanks for a serious answer! I disagree with what you’re saying to some extent; I’m not saying that it’s merely a myth, but rather that it is a myth which does not necessarily exclude it from also being a historical truth. Likewise, even If it is all false, than it is still the greatest, If not one of the greatest, story/stories ever told. Furthermore, it still invokes deep religious beliefs and practices as evident by Christianity’s practitioners, and that’s not worth ignoring even If the gospels are not in fact historically true.

 

[NBB]

Christians are who have the spirit of God in them.

8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. 9 You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Thanks for a serious answer! I disagree with what you’re saying to some extent; I’m not saying that it’s merely a myth, but rather that it is a myth which does not necessarily exclude it from also being a historical truth. Likewise, even If it is all false, than it is still the greatest, If not one of the greatest, story/stories ever told. Furthermore, it still invokes deep religious beliefs and practices as evident by Christianity’s practitioners, and that’s not worth ignoring even If the gospels are not in fact historically true.

You're welcome. Feel free to disagree with me any time ...

We'll just have to chalk this up to the fact that you and I come at this with different philosophical persectives and it is what it is.

I do agree with you, however marginally perhaps, that Jesus was a great teacher on par with the likes of Confucius or Lao-Tzu, among others.

However, being the realist that I am, for me to hold Him in superlative esteem would require that the New Testament writings be at least representational of the actual events and persons that its writers describe. That's just my philosophy of history taking the front seat where religious and philosophical matters are perhaps cogent to any one of us. Myth doesn't do that for me, although I could still see some of the sacred in various kinds of ancient poetics.

Perhaps I'm off kilter in all of this?

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I’m curious about how the term "Christian" is defined. I’ve been told by Christians that in order to be a Christian one must believe in God and in the divinity of Christ. I’m agnostic in the sense that I have no personal belief as to whether there is or is not a God in the traditional sense of the word, but I respect religion as an important aspect of human civilization. I also believe that Jesus was worshipped as God, and to me, by my definition of Divinity, I would say Jesus was Divine, if anything was or is. I do not reject or condemn his death on the cross, but I also consider it a myth. I am not sure if it is historically accurate or not.

I do not claim to have the answers, nor do I explicitly deny any of the essential doctrines of the Church. My views are not very sophisticated or based on rigorous study. I’m open to other perspectives, even beyond the question of whether or not I am a Christian.

I am not a follower of Christ, because I’m not sure that it’s possible to be one, but I admire his life and message. I acknowledge that Christianity has been used for both good and evil throughout history; I am influenced by Christian Democracy as a political philosophy to be clear, and for me, Christianity as it has developed seems to have deeply humanist views, at least comparatively.

Christianity is a beautiful and complex religion that I do not fully understand, but respect.

I believe that religion is a deeply rooted aspect of human civilization, and that our very understanding of the world itself as well as relation to others depends on it. A system of beliefs and practices, worship, adoration, beauty. community, and virtue; there seems to me a deep human need for these things at least in some capacity. Christianity stands out to me because of Jesus; his death on the cross for our sins, and his call for us to repent and turn away from the evil in the world - the evil that we stare at in the mirror, and the evil that has plagued every empire, every region, every city, and every person since the beginning of human civilization. I strongly condemn this evil as I admit I have no choose but to try and fight it within myself and within the world, I cannot choose not to speak out against things like the humanitarian crisis in North Korea.
I cannot sit idly by when I know that members of my extended human family are suffering because of our own sinfulness.

Please, whatever responses I receive, no matter how critical and no matter how honest and serious, please respect me and yourself as a result of extending such grace and profound understanding, thank you, my friend.

Welcome to CF! I find it interesting that you use Christian vernacular in your post like sinfulness, grace, divinity, doctrines, repentance, etc. You somewhat think like a Christian because you already recognize some of the main aspects. I believe you have the knowledge and now you need His Holy Spirit to live in you. This would require moving Jesus Christ of Nazareth from the myth catagory and into to the God in the Flesh catagory. God knows the heart and will give you His Spirit once you believe in Him. Thanks for sharing your story!
Be blessed.

PS: Take a look at " A Case for Christ ", the book or the movie.