yeah I guess you don't have to equate power to worth even though knowledge is a kind of power.
Not that power is bad by default, just that being with someone because one is (most likely) insecure and wants a partner who seemingly has little options to stray away isn't good or remotely a good basis for a healthy relationship.
I really like how vulnerability and love are connected. it helps me make sense of why this world would exist in such a weakened state and why Jesus would also be put in a vulnerable state.
Yeah, Christianity and sadomasochism. The reason I became interested in sadomasochism and psychology is because of my past faith.
Not sure how much I want to delve into that topic. Extremely painful, and I want to keep a somewhat decent relationship with other posters here. Only brought up Mother Teresa being accused of being a sadist because I find it somewhat humorous when Christians try to make statements about sadism being disgusting. They don't seem to realize that for as long as the terms sadism and masochism have been around, Christianity has been heavily scrutinized regarding the topic. Even the guy who coined the terms got into some trouble with the catholic church for equating the desire for martyrdom with masochism and hysteria.
Although as I argue that sadomasochism isn't evil by default, sadomasochism and spirituality isn't necessarily always a bad thing. I still look fondly at certain aspects of my Christian faith.. and have deep respect and interest for various (mostly) monks and nuns from the past. Even think they'd provide worth for people in secular/atheist worlds.
it seems that inflicting pain on the one you love or trying to control them is pathological? lines start to get blurry. maybe the key is mutual love? I guess I should consider that some people get a rush out of pain? it's weird how torture will make the victim love his oppressor. this appears to be a coping mechanism where a high level of agreeableness kicks in for survivals sake?
There are certainly examples of sadism being bad (true for vanilla love too), although I'm not really talking about anything I'd consider "torture". Just the realistic psychology of why people in consensual sadomasochistic relationships find them loving/romantic.
The simple reason being is that some human beings find taking care of others to be romantic, and that those same feelings can even be transferred to say BDSM style relationships. The seemingly "messed up" desire of sadism might actually have quite heartfelt and good intentional origins.
I don't see much difference in love and desire. they are two sides of the same coin. not all love is good love. what does the tormentor love/desire? to hurt others maybe? what does the victim desire/love? his own continued existence? his well being? for reality to go well rather than terrible?
The deeper psychology of wanting to hurt others is to reduce the other person as being a "victim" someone to care for. Of course this isn't the only spectrum of sadism, but it is the one that's relevant when we're talking about sadism and romanticism.
I'd argue that those high on romantic sadism are high on other types of sadism as well. When I mock feminists and try to hurt their feelings I'm not doing it for any romantic reasons (the idea of being romantic to a common feminist makes me want to puke.. lol).. although the high empathy of sadists (which brain scans of sadists seem to indicate) does give one enough emotional energy to perhaps go too far when it comes to drama and arguing. I'm certainly guilty of easily losing control of my emotions.. lol.
