Newbie here...if this isn't the correct thread to share the following, please direct me. I thought I'd go right to those who love to read or are currently reading.
Briefly, I used to read a lot. After seminary (conservative) in 1989 I had lost all my heroes. I found those who wrote the books I greatly admired, when in close proximity to these men, were very human. During my three years I saw more change in the seminary than the previous thirty years. I attended at a moment of disruption from one generation to the next.
This time period had a radical charge against the upcoming psychological movement that seemed to encroach the church. There was a divide in the seminary between the theology dept and counseling dept. At this time, the counseling dept had 4x the students of the general seminary student body.
There seemed a lot of jealousy and a canceling of the counseling program to return to only raising pastors and missionaries.
The story goes on and I left asking this question, "How could a man study the Bible, read voraciously for over fifty years and still remained so unchanged regarding basic human relations--envy, jealously, manipulation, control?"
I wondered if certain men are hardwired to simply enjoy reading like I enjoy listening to music, that in large part was a self-pleasure activity.
I wondered if the heart of a man informed him that his reading was more than enjoyment, but there was a responsibility to let it change his world-view to the conformity of Christ.
One of the friends I developed in seminary is a voracious reader. I have visited him over the past twenty years and he still reads much. After each visit I find myself withdrawing from him because despite his reading very good books, like that seminary professor, it seems to not penetrate his life beneath the surface. He still has a manipulative style of relating towards his wife, can be very controlling, and moody.
Realizing these are two specific personalities, I have seen this trend in many men over the past thirty years. There is little to no accountability to reading a book outside the Holy Spirit which should be enough, but it seems to not be. There seems to be a head/heart dichotomy rather than balance. There seems to be a more Greek influenced to the gaining of knowledge than the Hebrew view of allowing knowledge to lead to wisdom. It is very subtle!
As my apologetics professor said, our epistemology must be informed by our hamartiology. I think the quiet wave of pride can creep into even our desires to do good and good activities.
All to say, I have lost my desire to read, more as a rebellion riddled mostly with my personal hang-ups. I want to be clear here. Yet, I could use some encouragement.
So I ask, How do you approach reading?
Do you analyze the process much or just do it and move on?
Are you a more reflective reader seeking first to allow your heart to be changed?
What encouragement or admonishment do you have for someone like myself?
Other comments/thoughts?