What are you reading?

[.Mikha'el.]

I've gone back to LOTR

 

[Mr. Bultitude]

 

[bèlla]

I've gone back to LOTR

You may enjoy these while reading. I follow a couple.

 

[josef7]

Basic Economics by Thomas Sowell.

The Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (for school) and Attacking Chess by Josh Waitzkin (not for school).

Brings back good memories of ChessMaster 5500 it came with some voiceover lessons by Waitzkin.

 

[DragonFox91]

I am reading Not Yet Married by Marshall Segal.
It's a book for Christians who are single & don't want to be. Part I focuses on living single. Part II focus on when you're dating.
I finished Part I & am now on Part II. I feared Part II could get tough for me, b/c it's about a sensitive topic, & I was right. I may have to put the book aside & finish it if I ever start dating. It feels forbidden, like I shouldn't be reading it, like it's not for me.

Yay! I used to love reading those!

 

[Mr. Bultitude]

I am reading Not Yet Married by Marshall Segal.
It feels forbidden, like I shouldn't be reading it, like it's not for me.

Feel free to send me a private message if you want to talk about dating or Redwall or anything. Especially if you feel like you're dealing with some heavy stuff.

 

[bèlla]

I finished Part I & am now on Part II. I feared Part II could get tough for me, b/c it's about a sensitive topic, & I was right. I may have to put the book aside & finish it if I ever start dating. It feels forbidden, like I shouldn't be reading it, like it's not for me.

I’ll think Waiting and Dating by Myles Munroe may be more appropriate. He handles the subject lovingly and his message is brimming with hope and the word. God is Matchmaker is another option. It demonstrates the Lord’s hand in unlikely circumstances that seem impossible at first glance. I hope one or the other will bless and comfort you.

 

[linux.poet]

Basic Economics by Thomas Sowell.

Brings back good memories of ChessMaster 5500 it came with some voiceover lessons by Waitzkin.

I may wish to try both of those. Economics is fun.

Currently reading The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Carl R. Trueman, which is a philosophical treatise on the downward spiral of culture and the rise of the LGTBQ empire. A rather serious book that is not for the emotionally sensitive among us.

 

[DragonFox91]

Feel free to send me a private message if you want to talk about dating or Redwall or anything. Especially if you feel like you're dealing with some heavy stuff.

Just no girls I don't know any singles

I read all the Redwall books thru The Long Patrol (I actually stopped 1/2 way thru it. I couldn't understand the rabbit's speech). My favorites were the original, The Legend of Luke, The Bellmaker, & Mossflower.

I’ll think tmay be more appropriate. He handles the subject lovingly and his message is brimming with hope and the word. God is Matchmaker is another option. It demonstrates the Lord’s hand in unlikely circumstances that seem impossible at first glance. I hope one or the other will bless and comfort you.

It was reccomended by my counselor. I had told him before I started I was concerned & he said I can always just read Part I for now.

I've been doing so well lately but reading Part II only makes me sad. I can't even meet singles. It's a completely different level from what I'm at. I understand it's trying to teach how to date for when & if you get there, but I can't get that far.

Maybe those other books will understand you just don't jump from being single to in a relationship so easy. That's what dating books don't understand. They just jump from one day you're single to the very next day you're going on dates. That's not how it works.

 

[bèlla]

It was reccomended by my counselor. I had told him before I started I was concerned & he said I can always just read Part I for now.

I’m certain he saw the book as a much needed step in your healing. And I’m sure it is to some degree. You were able to read the first part which is progress that shouldn’t be overlooked. Was that possible in the past?

The portion that’s difficult represents the wound and the book is a landmine of sorts. Setting it aside doesn’t mean defeat or you’re unable to handle the subject. But it may suggest the chipping must happen through a different guise.

I've been doing so well lately but reading Part II only makes me sad. I can't even meet singles. It's a completely different level from what I'm at. I understand it's trying to teach how to date for when & if you get there, but I can't get that far.

I’m not a counselor or advising you. But dating in and of itself won’t solve your dilemma. You need gains in other areas and wins under your belt to restore your confidence. Not meeting singles reinforces sorrow and rejection. A dating book won’t change that.

I don’t want to put you on the spot. I’ll share what I’ve done with @Vinter. We began working together last fall. Our starting point was him and his relationship with God. Not the object of his affection or desire for marriage. He needed to see himself in his current state and confront the impediments to his betterment. Including long held fears he never admitted.

It wasn’t necessary for me to know them all. But I encouraged him to address them through practical steps and prayer initiatives. He began hammering away at the stumbling blocks and the coping mechanisms he employed to deal with long held problems.

One by one they fell until he was finally delivered. He began to see himself from God’s perspective and acquired the hope he lacked. Support and reinforcement allowed him to see the dichotomy in his attraction and the Lord’s best. Tomorrow isn’t a maybe or relegated to her arrival. He can experience better now. But he needed to see beyond the fear and blinders.

Acquiring the wins under his belt was important. Everything can’t hinge on someday. We need to see movement in the natural and spirit realm. While he hasn’t encountered his beloved thus far he no longer believes its impossible.

We broach the subject from two prongs: practically and expectantly. I give him tasks which help him move beyond his comfort zone and the Lord does the same. The old dies a little more each day.

Our spiritual housekeeping is ongoing. But we’ve broached the relational now. I didn’t instruct him on the rudiments of dating. He’s inexperienced and that isn’t the proper starting point. We’re addressing godly masculinity and manhood. Until he understands and embraces his divine makeup—imperfections included—he won’t appreciate the same in a woman or recognize his complement from God’s vantage point.

He sees himself through different eyes because the baggage is gone. By accepting his difference and unique makeup he’s coming to grips with his place in the world and ability to serve others. Including a spouse.

Worthiness is part of the process. When you haven’t experienced the otherness you crave it fosters doubts and unworthiness. You begin to wonder if something’s wrong with you.

The remedy is two-fold. You tackle the stumbling blocks lovingly while planting new seeds and watering the whole with encouragement. It requires a lot of reinforcement and hand holding too.

I’m not surprised the book was difficult. But I’ve noticed you respond well to sermons. J.R. Miller is an excellent resource. He addresses the topic and Christian living thoroughly. I think you’ll be blessed by his work. They build upon the other and I believe you’ll come away with greater strength and peace. The modern approach isn’t suited for everyone and may do more harm than intended.

But there’s merit in coloring outside the lines. If meeting singles is difficult becoming a connector could be the solution. It requires a willingness to plan and host gatherings. And a little cooking too. Get togethers nurture positive feelings. People are eager for the next and good hosts have others wondering if they can bring a friend along. That’s how you grow your circle.

You can start with potluck and offer to grill and see where it leads. Or pitch the idea at church and arrange a cookout for the singles community. Put signs around the building to reach those outside of small groups. Many connections are forged this way. I met my prayer partner through a cookout.

Small groups won’t meet everyone’s relational needs. Building connections outside the church deepens fellowship and fosters bonds. Suggesting alternatives beyond the obvious may acquire the church’s support. You’ll never know until you ask.

I wouldn’t mention the dearth of women in the singles group. I’d suggest some fun events instead. Oftentimes this is the seed that becomes retreats and ministries.

Which reminds me. Have you considered the possibility your challenge has a greater purpose? Is the Lord preparing you to minister in this area unknowingly? Who better to champion change than someone who encountered what’s amiss within the body?

Maybe you should pray about that too.

PS. I gave him a book to read as well. But it was tailored to where he was in the process. See how you like Miller.

 

[Mr. Bultitude]

Just no girls I don't know any singles

I read all the Redwall books thru The Long Patrol (I actually stopped 1/2 way thru it. I couldn't understand the rabbit's speech). My favorites were the original, The Legend of Luke, The Bellmaker, & Mossflower.

Yeah the rabbits have a very unique way of talking. As a kid I never understood the moles, but very few characters seem to understand them either, so I didn't feel too bad about it.

Regarding dating, what are you doing to meet girls? If you did meet a girl today, would you be dressed your best and in a good mood and ready to initiate a conversation? If not, what can you do in your life to make that happen?

 

[RileyG]

reading lots of theology books at the moment

 

[DragonFox91]

Yeah the rabbits have a very unique way of talking. As a kid I never understood the moles, but very few characters seem to understand them either, so I didn't feel too bad about it.

Regarding dating, what are you doing to meet girls? If you did meet a girl today, would you be dressed your best and in a good mood and ready to initiate a conversation? If not, what can you do in your life to make that happen?

I'm not sure. I'm just living life.
I don't know what dressed my best is. I don't know if I'd be ready b/c I'm not in that situation ever.
I wish I knew.

 

[DragonFox91]

I am reading Not Yet Married by Marshall Segal.
It's a book for Christians who are single & don't want to be. Part I focuses on living single. Part II focus on when you're dating.
I finished Part I & am now on Part II. I feared Part II could get tough for me, b/c it's about a sensitive topic, & I was right. I may have to put the book aside & finish it if I ever start dating. It feels forbidden, like I shouldn't be reading it, like it's not for me.

Still reading this. I know, I'm a slow reader.

I've been doing good yesterday & today, thinking how silly it is to want marriage & how overhwelming it'd be for me.

I'm reading the chapter on sexual purity right now. It's confusing.

 

[bèlla]

I don't know what dressed my best is. I don't know if I'd be ready b/c I'm not in that situation ever.
I wish I knew.

You can work with an image consultant. They'd help with your wardrobe, confidence and social skills.

 

[Sif]

Dividing the Spoils by Robin Waterfield. It is a brief history of the wars of Alexander the Great's successors (sometimes called the Successor Wars or Wars of the Diadochi).
I wish an account survived of how Seleucus marched the several hundred elephants gifted to him by Chandragupta from what is today Pakistan across Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq and all the way to Western Anatolia to fight in the Battle if Ipsus. It would make Hannibal's march across the Alps with 37 elephants seem trivial.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

I am currently reading The Book Of Exodus from The Bible ESV version.

 

[Andrew.H]

Wow I never thought I'd see that book cover again. I think I read that when I was maybe 10-12?

 

[ElCamino]

Just starting Steppenwolf. I've had this book in my to read list for like 20 years.

 

[He is Worthy]

A book on education in Virginia.