What are the best things to do in order to be content being alone?

[J Daniel]

To have my house in order!

Interesting question.

Although finding a Godly woman is a very good goal but not the most important thing in this life.

This one thing if you found it, it wouldn't matter anymore if you got married or remained single the rest of your life.

 

[bèlla]

Hmmm you say that - but in marriage if somebody is so THIRSTY that when they are not intimate together they do that i mean it demeans the marriage don't ya think?

I’m glad you had a great talk with the pastor. Maybe you should go to the park more often. ;-)

I think it’s important to address this topic when we’re vetting a prospect. It needn’t be crude but honesty is a must. Knowing one another’s appetite and desires are subjects I can’t ignore. I need to make sure we’re on the same page and capable of meeting one another’s needs.

There’s a lot of diversity in Christian circles on this subject. Ranging from monogamy to polygamy and everything in between. I don’t want a surprise. I can limit my surprises by asking questions and listening to his perspective.

I don’t believe in the concept of thirsty. That’s simply someone who isn’t monogamous. It has nothing to do with
lack of intimacy and is directly related to their desire for others. Save those in extenuating circumstances.

You were blessed by the discussion. I think the presence of other godly men will have a similar effect.

 

[J Daniel]

1. Okay maybe THIRSY not right adjective! But if they don't have control I mean - cos look marriage as beautiful as it is I am under no illusions that it is all sex - there are going to be periods of time where that is not going to be on the table at times. No IMO I think when they say you are one flesh - it should be a thing to please one another (even if not in the mood) that is not even necessarily sex (MAKE THAT CLEAR) could be if she wants to see a certain film that I don't wanna see - or do something for her which I know is gonna be an issue for me but hey she is my wife - ya get me? (I know you do! All that for courting procedure I believe!

2. I do not believe in Polygamy (that is my view).

3. Was a good conversation.

I’m glad you had a great talk with the pastor. Maybe you should go to the park more often. ;-)

I think it’s important to address this topic when we’re vetting a prospect. It needn’t be crude but honesty is a must. Knowing one another’s appetite and desires are subjects I can’t ignore. I need to make sure we’re on the same page and capable of meeting one another’s needs.

There’s a lot of diversity in Christian circles on this subject. Ranging from monogamy to polygamy and everything in between. I don’t want a surprise. I can limit my surprises by asking questions and listening to his perspective.

I don’t believe in the concept of thirsty. That’s simply someone who isn’t monogamous. It has nothing to do with
lack of intimacy and is directly related to their desire for others. Save those in extenuating circumstances.

You were blessed by the discussion. I think the presence of other godly men will have a similar effect.

 

[bèlla]

But if they don't have control I mean

Then it’s probable he was the same while dating too. You don’t morph into a new person when you’re married. You bring all of you into that connection.

I don’t want to be holy for my husband. I want to be holy for God. My spouse gets the benefit of my obedience. But he isn’t the reason or inspiration for the change.

For me, it’s important to focus on the here and now. I can prepare for marriage but the bottom line is this. I’m not there yet and I don’t know when it will happen.

If I crane my neck looking to tomorrow I’ll neglect the things I’m meant to learn today. I don’t know what the future holds.

It can’t dominate my thoughts and feelings or attention. I have to stay present and face those issue when they arise.

 

[J Daniel]

If I crane my neck looking to tomorrow I’ll neglect the things I’m meant to learn today. I don’t know what the future holds.

It can’t dominate my thoughts and feelings or attention. I have to stay present and face those issue when they arise.

Indeed!!!

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Hey Daniel, LaBella: Perhaps you all should take this conversation to PM. It's been nothing but you two in this thread for days now. Lol

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

So be at peace.

so outside of marriage there isn't anything you would like to accomplish or achieve?

 

[bèlla]

Hey Daniel, LaBella: Perhaps you all should take this conversation to PM. It's been nothing but you two in this thread for days now. Lol

You’re welcome to chime in as are others. I think male input would be helpful.

 

[J Daniel]

so outside of marriage there isn't anything you would like to accomplish or achieve?

Well of course my career goals I have and property goal too.
Anyway I am just whatever right now

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

You’re welcome to chime in as are others. I think male input would be helpful.

Do you consider yourself an Alpha-woman?

 

[timewerx]

I don’t believe in the concept of thirsty. That’s simply someone who isn’t monogamous. It has nothing to do with
lack of intimacy and is directly related to their desire for others. Save those in extenuating circumstances.

I used to think that polygamy is okay but not anymore (not that I actually engaged in it, I'm still a virgin).

Eventually, I realized when people don't find contentment in one partner, it's simply because they married the wrong person (lacked the patience, understanding, maturity, and determination to find the right person for them).

I know this for sure....Women I don't find attractive several years ago, I now find attractive (overall attributes). People change. We all change. This is why patience is a virtue when finding the right partner for us.

 

[J Daniel]

People change. We all change. This is why patience is a virtue when finding the right partner for us.

People sure do change............that's why I don't trust anybody now - trust myself.

 

[timewerx]

People sure do change............that's why I don't trust anybody now - trust myself.

The heart is deceitful above all....Trust no one, including yourself!

 

[J Daniel]

The heart is deceitful above all....Trust no one, including yourself!

Rather trust myself than have all my trust in somebody else.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

The heart is deceitful above all....Trust no one, including yourself!

Bologna. Says the unregenerate person or the redeemed? Take that verse in context. Kthnx

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Well of course my career goals I have and property goal too.
Anyway I am just whatever right now

the reason I asked my initial question was because I was once of the same mentality. the only thing I wanted to do was get married and have children. that was my ultimate goal.

it almost happened, and i'm glad to the LORD that it didn't. it was actually a bad situation that would've ruined my life.

what i have realized since then was i was in no way ready to get married. a man has to have real ambitions and goals and must show tangible ways in which he has taken steps toward these goals. this is part of going into marriage as a whole person and not a piece looking to be completed. a woman is to be a compliment to a man, not a suppliment. you go in whole and a woman adds to you, not completes you.

having real goals and ambitions is how you deal with loneliness. instead of sitting around wishing you had someone in your life, you're fulfilling your life mission of accomplishing something that will be beneficial to the world. that's your life goal. then, a woman comes in along side you to encourage and assist you in that ambition as your helper. a woman can't be the helper to a man if that man isn't doing anything.

men don't chase woman either. that's what I did when marriage was the end all be all for me. I would look around my church at the young ladies and constantly be thinking about how I could be with this or that one. not that I was trying to get with all of them but rather which one I could marry. I was concentrating more on chasing these woman rather than making myself worthy to be with these women.

a man simply chooses a woman to make the beneficiary of what he has built. when a man is doing what a man is suppose to do, the women come to him. women throw themselves at a progressive man of means, ambition, goals, and accomplishments(there's a difference between a gold-digger and an economically sensible woman). he really doesn't have to work that hard and will get top choice women.

those who mentioned hobbies and charity work gave you good advice. your life trajectory should be about achieving goals in life outside of running down a female for marriage.

 

[bèlla]

Do you consider yourself an Alpha-woman?

No, I don’t refer to myself in that manner. I’m goal-driven and disciplined.

 

[bèlla]

I used to think that polygamy is okay but not anymore (not that I actually engaged in it, I'm still a virgin).

I’ve never agreed with it though I’ve known some who did.

Eventually, I realized when people don't find contentment in one partner, it's simply because they married the wrong person (lacked the patience, understanding, maturity, and determination to find the right person for them).

Some people have no desire to commit themselves to one person. Married or otherwise.

I know this for sure....Women I don't find attractive several years ago, I now find attractive (overall attributes). People change. We all change. This is why patience is a virtue when finding the right partner for us.

We grow and mature. I still find the same physical attributes very appealing. But there are other things I need besides that.

 

[bèlla]

a man simply chooses a woman to make the beneficiary of what he has built. when a man is doing what a man is suppose to do, the women come to him. women throw themselves at a progressive man of means, ambition, goals, and accomplishments(there's a difference between a gold-digger and an economically sensible woman). he really doesn't have to work that hard and will get top choice women.

Excellent advice. Thank you for your input.

That goes both ways. Discerning women and those with means never throw themselves at anyone. It lowers you.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Discerning women and those with means never throw themselves at anyone. It lowers you.

Obviously you don't go blindly into any relationship. The point was this is the type of man that the top choice of women are going to make themselves available for.