Virginity

[overit]

Well, one can be rude without so intending. I personally find it disappointing that God's children would ever consider it repulsive to have marital relations with one another, provided both partners are verified as being healthy and infection free. I am, of course, 100% in support of the notion that partners who have previous sexual experience should get themselves checked out prior to engaging in sex in future.

In any case, I am glad that most people take the view that I had hoped that they would and that is in, most importantly, impliedly advocated in scripture; the Bible says that if we do not forgive one another God will not forgive us. I would not expect anybody to have sex with a non-virgin without the non-virgin proving that they had been tested for infections etc, but provided both partners are healthy and love each other I do not see a problem, and I"m sure the Lord will bless that relationship.

God bless you.

I hope you don't feel attacked by that comment. If it helps a bit, the poster who said that has big issues with sex in general. Let's just say his views aren't the norm and I'm not attacking him, it's just a fact by his own posts that obviously he is somewhat farfetched and turned off by sex in general. So any thoughts he may have about being "repulsed" with sex is his only mostly, most others would not feel to that extent kwim?

 

[alfrodull]

I don't think the person in question meant to attack anyone. I mean, he only admitted his reasoning after others assured him that they wouldn't attack him.

 

[RussArtLover]

Virginity is one of those things we always change our minds about, back and forth. I guess it's like riding a bike. Once you know how, you never forget. I've met a few couples where the guy was a virgin and the girl was not when they married. Keeping quiet about is rediculous. It's pretty obvious at some point. None of them stayed together but many claim to still be friends. One thing I am not looking for is a friend. I'm looking for a wife. To fall in love with. Her past is part of her future and her attitudes about it with future children will probably arise. My best advice is be proud of yourself reguardless and find someone with reasonably similar taste. My favorite color is white but I have dated and loved women who "should" probably wear red getting married. (or pink) In olden days I've read that Red was a color often worn by virgins. They must have been rich. I think we "can" find it within ourselves to overlook anything in war or peacetime but today is not the first day of the rest of your life is it? It's just today. Think about the future and have a nice today.

 

[Sanctuaryandbliss]

Well, one can be rude without so intending. I personally find it disappointing that God's children would ever consider it repulsive to have marital relations with one another, provided both partners are verified as being healthy and infection free. I am, of course, 100% in support of the notion that partners who have previous sexual experience should get themselves checked out prior to engaging in sex in future.

In any case, I am glad that most people take the view that I had hoped that they would and that is in, most importantly, impliedly advocated in scripture; the Bible says that if we do not forgive one another God will not forgive us. I would not expect anybody to have sex with a non-virgin without the non-virgin proving that they had been tested for infections etc, but provided both partners are healthy and love each other I do not see a problem, and I"m sure the Lord will bless that relationship.

God bless you.

I understand. and I agree, But he posted in confidence and I am just making sure no one is mean to him (not saying youve been) He wouldnt have posted if I didnt insist. he actually pleaded the 5th when I asked the first time. I am just watching over him, bc if anything negative is said about him, itd be my doing.


~Blessed Be.

 

[Museman]

I understand. and I agree, But he posted in confidence and I am just making sure no one is mean to him (not saying youve been) He wouldnt have posted if I didnt insist. he actually pleaded the 5th when I asked the first time. I am just watching over him, bc if anything negative is said about him, itd be my doing.


~Blessed Be.

Indeed - I really respect your contribution.

I guess that as a relatively new believer, with a sexual history, I am more likely to take offence at what was said than most

 

[Trashionista]

Pretty unimportant, actually. My biggest worry would be STIs, but even virgins get those.

So, no... on a scale of 1 to 10, its about a 1. Everyone comes with a past - its what they do in the present that matters to me.

 

[puffca]

But the only reason he said that opened up and admited that it was repulsive to him is bc I asked him why he could not sleep with a non-virgin. He is not trying to be rude, he merely answered my and anothers question. so please, if you are offended come to me for having him state his opinion.

~Blessed Be

Reading through the whole thing I found you are a wonderful person because it is hard to no to take it as offensive needless to say to defend him.

 

[Sanctuaryandbliss]

Reading through the whole thing I found you are a wonderful person because it is hard to no to take it as offensive needless to say to defend him.

Thank you.

I just wanna keep my promise to him. I gave him my word if he posted I would not take offense/slander or belittle him. In that same sense Ill defend him as well.

~Blessed Be.

 

[puffca]

... There are times when i feel as if i, knowing the truth, will only be able to burn bright with it for so long, before i fail and give in...
K
O
F

Yep, there is a huge difference of knowing what is right and having the gut of persevereringly acting on it.

 

[fraggable]

Not a deal breaker at all, of course I'd prefer marrying a virgin, being one myself, but thinking of the girls I know well who I'd marry in a heartbeat with the opportunity, that wouldn't even factor into the decision in the smallest way.

I'll tell you what would factor into it: their attitude about it. Sex outside of marriage is wrong according to the Bible (I know this isn't the place to debate it) and if they're unrepentant about it then there's a problem that needs to be dealt with before any serious relationship is considered.

 

[Tamara224]

I'd love to find a guy who is a virgin still. But I'm realistic and know that guys my age who are still virgins are very very rare. Even the Christian guys are rarely virgins anymore. [And then, I read threads like this where I see guys envying sinners and contemplating "giving up" and I just wanna cry.]

Anyway, while a virgin would be ideal, I'm not going to hold it against a guy if he's not.

Besides, in our culture... It's not like any of us is really "pure" anymore, virgin or not. We're overexposed to sex and sexuality and it's probably safe to say that there isn't really anyone left who hasn't had a stray thought or two or three which defiles the mind. (Not to mention those who are only "technically" virgins).

I mean, just look at how often we talk about it. I'm not really commenting on whether it's good or bad to talk about it - just pointing out how often the topic is broached as being indicative of the oversexuality of our culture.


But this makes me wonder, too... Are women generally more forgiving in this area than men are? I've seen a couple guys in this thread suggest that they would feel like something was "stolen" from them if their future wife was not a virgin. I gotta wonder how much of that is a gender issue. How many women would feel that something was stolen from them? Ok, I'll stop now before I go into a rant about females as property and other feminist stuff.

 

[Niels]

My biggest worry would be STIs, but even virgins get those.

It is extremely unlikely that a virgin (or someone who is abstinent) will contract a sexually transmitted disease.

 

[Trashionista]

It is extremely unlikely that a virgin (or someone who is abstinent) will contract a sexually transmitted disease.

Herpes. HPV. Trichomonis.

The amount of women who will contract a strain of HPV is astronomical in number - regardless of sexual activity. Herpes is easily transmittable - get a cold sore, the virus stays with you.

Its completely possible in this day & age. Sex of any sort is always taking a risk - regardless of whether one is a virgin or not. But I guess it depends what the parties see "virginity" as, as well.

 

[Museman]

But this makes me wonder, too... Are women generally more forgiving in this area than men are? I've seen a couple guys in this thread suggest that they would feel like something was "stolen" from them if their future wife was not a virgin. I gotta wonder how much of that is a gender issue. How many women would feel that something was stolen from them? Ok, I'll stop now before I go into a rant about females as property and other feminist stuff.

I genuinely hope that men and women would be equally forgiving. As I've said, I am not a virgin and whilst I would ideally marry a virgin I am open to the possibility that God will send a girl my way who has slipped up and made mistakes in the past like I have.

Interesting point you raise.

 

[Niels]

Herpes. HPV. Trichomonis.

The amount of women who will contract a strain of HPV is astronomical in number - regardless of sexual activity. Herpes is easily transmittable - get a cold sore, the virus stays with you.

Its completely possible in this day & age. Sex of any sort is always taking a risk - regardless of whether one is a virgin or not. But I guess it depends what the parties see "virginity" as, as well.

Let's just say it's highly unusual to contract STD's without sexual contact.

 

[CoachR64]

If the disease is not transmitted sexually, it is not an STD. There are different viral strains of herpes that one can catch that do not involve sexual contact. For a disease to be an STD, it has to involve sexual relations. Otherwise, it is just a communicable disease.

Coach

 

[Sketcher]

If the disease is not transmitted sexually, it is not an STD. There are different viral strains of herpes that one can catch that do not involve sexual contact. For a disease to be an STD, it has to involve sexual relations. Otherwise, it is just a communicable disease.

AIDS is an STD, yet it can be transmitted by needle.

 

[CoachR64]

AIDs is a disease caused by a virus that CAN be sexually transmitted. It does not mean it has to be. If you have get HIV through a blood transfusion, it is not an STD, but you still have the Virus.

I just don't see how any disease can truly be an STD if it is not transmitted sexually.

Coach

 

[Niels]

AIDS is an STD, yet it can be transmitted by needle.

AIDS (HIV) is a communicable disease that is also an STD. It is transmitted through bodily fluids such as blood and sperm. If you are not a junky (or you are a junky who uses fresh needles), and you do not have a blood transfusion with infected blood, then you're probably not going to become infected.

 

[futuredoc]

If the disease is not transmitted sexually, it is not an STD. There are different viral strains of herpes that one can catch that do not involve sexual contact. For a disease to be an STD, it has to involve sexual relations. Otherwise, it is just a communicable disease.

Coach

This is correct....Herpes Type one (the one that causes cold sores) can be sexually transmitted but generally is not, Herpes Type 2 (genital herpes) is usually sexually transmitted, but coming into contact with a blister another way would also result in infection. Interestingly Herpes 8 has been implicated in Kaposi's sarcoma which is cancer. Varicella (chicken pox) and Herpes Zoster(shingles) are other examples of herpes viruses that are comunicable but not STIs.

HPV is similarly caused by a virus, and one in two sexually active adults will become infected, but it too requires contact with an infected area, and that usually requires genital contact of some kind.

HIV and Hepatitis C are viruses that can be spread in a multitude of ways....one of which is sex (in which case it would be an STI).