Virginity

[futuredoc]

Only if I am guaranteed immunity from being criticized, vilified, pathologized, etc.

It is for personal reasons that I would not want to be physically intimate with a non-virgin.

I have learned that in this forum one had best plead the Fifth.

But if enough people assure me that they will keep an open mind and not make it personal, I will answer your question.

Answering or not is up to you and you shouldn't feel pressured to share more than you are comfortable with, but if you choose to share I won't attack you or take it personally.

 

[Sanctuaryandbliss]

Answering or not is up to you and you shouldn't feel pressured to share more than you are comfortable with, but if you choose to share I won't attack you or take it personally.

Exactly. I can understand the concern.

 

[mrkram]

it wouldn't be a problem for me as long as they had a good relationship with god - would i prefer one... yes.... is it required... nope.

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

It is pathetic when one can predict what people are going to say.

I bet that somebody is going to say, "Are you a virgin?!".

In other words, he/she would be trying to make me look like a hypocrite.

Well, I am, for lack of a better word, a 35-year old male virgin.

But we are talking about personal feelings, not a moral stance. Therefore, hypocrisy is irrelevant.

 

[Annova]

Well if you don't want to say then don't. But I do believe we all have our own reasons.

 

[Sanctuaryandbliss]

Its cool. i understand. i didn't mean to cause you stress or anything with my question.

~blessed be.

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

I would not want to be physically intimate with a non-virgin.

Could you say why?...

I find the thought of physical intimacy with a non-virgin to be repulsive.

 

[Sanctuaryandbliss]

I find the thought of physical intimacy with a non-virgin to be repulsive.

Okies. thank you for trusting me and others enough to post.

And i hope that those who read our posts give us the respect we would show them.

~Blessed Be.

 

[JonMiller]

I find the thought of physical intimacy with a non-virgin to be repulsive.

Would you only have sex with a virgin? Or would you have sex with someone if she had only had sex with you? (was a virgin before you)

JM

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

Would you only have sex with a virgin? Or would you have sex with someone if she had only had sex with you? (was a virgin before you)

JM

I would probably feel the same way if I was the one who had had a previous partner.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

I find the thought of physical intimacy with a non-virgin to be repulsive.

Repulsive is a pretty strong word. What makes it seem repulsive to you?

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

Repulsive is a pretty strong word. What makes it seem repulsive to you?

The thought of having certain types of physical contact where someone else has had certain types of physical contact and where someone else's body fluids have been is repulsive.

I do not know how else to say it.

 

[Sanctuaryandbliss]

The thought of having certain types of physical contact where someone else has had certain types of physical contact and where someone else's body fluids have been is repulsive.

I do not know how else to say it.

I dont agree in the sense that i dont find it repulsive. but i can see where you are coming from.

 

[RonnyRulz]

I'm a virgin and would prefer my wife to be too, but I'm also a sinner, and it would be self-righteous of me to think less of anyone, especially someone so special as a wife, just because of the sins that were erased by the Blood. How can you say you believe in the power of the Blood of Christ, yet not be able to forgive a sin that doesn't even exist anymore? I'd be a liar! If she said she wasn't a virgin, I'd forgive her so fast I wouldn't even have to think about it. Probably because of the obvious: that she has already been forgiven by Christ, and the sin is erased forever. My wife will be special, regardless of any past and she'll also be very lucky because I'll make sure she knows it every day.
The Blood washes away all sins, and anyone who wouldn't accept God's chosen spiritmate because of her/his sexual sin is a self-righteous jerk who doesn't deserve any of their sexual sins forgiven, and everyone has sexual sins.

If it wasn't for God in my life, I'd be more of a prostitute than the next person over. I've never been physical with a girl beyond making out, but I know how it feels to have your heart be in so much pain that you'd easily give yourself away to anyone who treats you nice. I know what it's like to be young, naive, and stupid. I know what it's like to think you're in love when you aren't. I also know what it's like to lose self-control and to do something sinful, as does every sinner. And above all else, I know what it's like to be lost in a world without God, doing all sorts of things before you find Him. So why would I hold it against her? I have empathy, forgiveness, mercy, and above all else love. I would never hold it against a girl just because she wasn't a virgin, regardless if she was regretful or not. I almost fully realize that the Blood of Christ erases sins and makes you pure and holy.

My dream girl is Mary Magdalene who I believe was the prostitute. The girl that Jesus stops to see on the way between his resurrection and pouring the blood on the mercy seat, risking becoming touched/unpure before the finally..... SHE is the girl of my dreams who melts my heart. A girl like that who loves God that much- oh my.
I'd be more than happy to marry her, and to be so incredibly happy because I'd have her. The ignorant fools who looked down on her won't have her, such a precious and beautiful treasure. They'd be the losers, bigtime!

That's not to say it isn't very important to me that she is a virgin like me. I do care about it, it's just that I am no saint myself, nor am I self-righteous in this case, so I couldn't and wouldn't judge her for it, not even for a second. The Blood gives us a completely new start, and that includes everything. If I didn't forgive other's their sins, why should I get my sins forgiven? And look at the bright side of a non-virgin: on your honeymoon, you'll both be able to have tons of fun, instead of her feeling the pains that come with losing one's virginity.

But in the end, I don't decide who my wife is. That would be completely foolish. I let God decide who my wife is, and that'll give me my perfect match & spiritmate- something most people will never get the joys of because they didn't let God decide. So if God decides to give me a virgin, hurray! If he decides to me a former-prostitute, hurray! God knows better than me.
Regardless if she is a physical virgin or not, she will be a spiritual virgin, and I'll be the first man who gives her what no other man has before, and what no other man could. There's more to sex than just the physical, there's also the emotional and most importantly the spiritual.

 

[traingosorry]

The thought of having certain types of physical contact where someone else has had certain types of physical contact and where someone else's body fluids have been is repulsive.

I do not know how else to say it.

When I lost my virginity it wasn't clear to me right away that I was giving something up that I would never get back, because the guy I was with was someone I thought would be around for the long haul. I was also young, misguided and lacked maturity.

It had stirred in my heart years later what was lost and what it meant for my future husband and I hated myself for what I did and I spent so much time worrying that the man I fell in love with would be repulsed by me and be so concerned about the fact that I was no longer a virgin that he wouldn't be able to find it in himself to forgive me. As I got older and learned that God had forgiven me I was able to forgive myself and I realized I would never find myself in a relationship with someone who would be repulsed by my past, because I would never have it. I was very fortunate to meet a man who was able to look beyond my sexual past and love me anyway.

 

[Im_A]

How important is it that your spouse is a virgin when you get married? Do you think that you could "deal" with it if that had made a mistake in the past and weren't...or would you feel like you had been "cheated" out of something with that person?

it isn't important to me. there is no difference to me between having sexual intercourse before marriage or fooling around someway.

 

[.Sabre.]

It doesn't matter to me whether they are or aren't.

What does matter is if they are candid with me. I would be very upset if they didn't tell me the truth.

 

[Hack]

The thought of having certain types of physical contact where someone else has had certain types of physical contact and where someone else's body fluids have been is repulsive.

I do not know how else to say it.

I can sympothise where your comming from with that one. I'm a borderline germ-a-phob and that has crossed my mind as well. Luckly I am improving and getting better. I say to myself "The disorder can rule you or you can rule the disorder." or "If it kills you it kills you. What can you do?" I grit my teeth and get on with my life. I aint dead or sick yet lol.

But fluids aint gona cling forever. If it's been a while and she aint sick I don't really see a problem.

 

[Luther073082]

But I hope, since I am not going around having sex, and I havnt had since that person. I hope that God forgives me.

I wouldnt judge my spouse on it, we were all young, and in some cases we only thought we were in Love.

~Blessed Be.

He already has, you need to forgive yourself now.

Its not something you have to hope for, its something you just have to realize and accept.

 

[dayhiker]

How important is it that your spouse is a virgin when you get married? Do you think that you could "deal" with it if that had made a mistake in the past and weren't...or would you feel like you had been "cheated" out of something with that person?

I married a virgin when I was young. Things went pretty well. But now I'd not consider marring a virgin.

Now I'd talk a lot with the woman to make sure she was as adventous about sexual things as I am. But then I've been told about people who lie about their sexuality so even talking doesn't mean we'll find someone who is compatable.

dayhiker