That is not a straw man it’s the true statement of what Calvinist teach they say all men deserve hell but fortunately he reaches down and saves a few, a easy thing to say if you are one of the few. It’s supposed to be good news. I was talking with a friend who is a Calvinist and he said that God sending most people to hell is the most loving act he could do. I am sorry I can’t get my mind around the God of Calvinist. To me it is not love to create someone knowing that you must torture them for ever because they didn’t love you when the only reason they didn’t love you was because you made them that way. I can’t understand how that kind of behavior is not more like what we would call a monster. Like I said earlier I am not saying that if you believe that you are not Christians, we all have errors in our thinking that’s just a bridge too far for me. Also I don’t trust a position that the founder of was ok with killing those who did not agree with him , how can good come from that. I am not bashing Calvinist I am just calling it as I see it.
The implications of
"they say all men deserve hell but fortunately he reaches down and saves a few" is a far cry from the implications of
"...they say God does want all people to go to hell but fortunately for us, the elect, he reaches down and saves a few"
You say,
"I was talking with a friend who is a Calvinist and he said that God sending most people to hell is the most loving act he could do." Not to deny that your friend is a Calvinist, but that is not Calvinist doctrine. It is the reasoning some people come up with, including some that are not Calvinist, in an attempt to explain what they think is going on with the lost.
The Bible uses the word 'torment', not 'torture', and there is a difference implied in the person doing the torment, and the kind of thing the torment is.
You have also heard wrong about Calvin himself. He was not "ok with killing those who didn't agree with him." He may have been of the opinion that those who blaspheme God deserve death, but I think we all deserve death. But in fact, in the famous case of Servetus, he plead for Servetus' life, quite to the contrary of the claim of those who have pitted themselves against Calvinism, for the sake of a caricature. Nevertheless, Calvinism isn't Calvin anyway. The following link gives some perspective behind the thinking of the day, and the mind of Calvin, but it isn't the one I haven't been able to find, that seems to have disappeared from the internet.
The Servetus Affair | Christian History | Christianity Today
You are right that eternal conscious torment doesn't line up with your notion of love. All of our notions of love are not only self-acquired to a large degree, built on feelings and wish-think, but the rules or principles we read concerning what love is and what it is like, apply to us, and not to God who himself is Love. Consider this saying: "It is not because God chooses to be good, that he is good. 'Good' is what it is because God is good." It is not because it is a loving way to be, that God loves; Love is what it is, because God is Love. Love must be defined and understood by who and what God is, and in that is implied every other attribute of God, including justice and anger. Then what applies to us is for us, but God is not us. Very much not.