Truths

[angelsaroundme]

I want to spend my time for another person. You're there for the other person

Thanks for your thoughtful responses. I can tell you are a very moral person. While this is good most of the time, I worry you would be too selfless in a marriage.

Some people do everything they can for their partner. Always listen, go where they want to go, eat where they want to eat, watch what they want to watch, get things for them, etc. They ask for little or nothing back. What they hope is for the partner to see how much they are doing for them and return the favor without them asking.

What can happen instead is the partner thinks, "They never assert their own needs or preferences. They must be someone that doesn't want or need much to be happy." So the hoped for reciprocity may not happen. It becomes a one-sided relationship. The longer a relationship is one-sided, the harder it is to change it.

I know I would struggle with this in a relationship too. Balancing kindness and assertiveness to create and maintain a balanced relationship can be challenging.

 

[DragonFox91]

Thanks for your thoughtful responses. I can tell you are a very moral person. While this is good most of the time, I worry you would be too selfless in a marriage.

Some people do everything they can for their partner. Always listen, go where they want to go, eat where they want to eat, watch what they want to watch, get things for them, etc. They ask for little or nothing back. What they hope is for the partner to see how much they are doing for them and return the favor without them asking.

What can happen instead is the partner thinks, "They never assert their own needs or preferences. They must be someone that doesn't want or need much to be happy." So the hoped for reciprocity may not happen. It becomes a one-sided relationship. The longer a relationship is one-sided, the harder it is to change it.

I know I would struggle with this in a relationship too. Balancing kindness and assertiveness to create and maintain a balanced relationship can be challenging.

Ive feared that too. But other relationships I have require that selflessness. It is what I have built. The other relationships I've been given, the other person just gets you & understand they need to be selfless too at times. It's nothing to be scared of. I'm able to express myself, I'm still selfish too. If I thought it would get too hard for me, I wouldn't get married in the first place!

There's a Charlie Brown clip I've seen. "What if I like her & she likes me & we get married. What if we don't like each other. What if it's too hard." Just all these fears he has if this girl says yes. & then Lucy is like 'only you would be worried about someone you've never met, Charlie Brown.' He hasn't even met this girl & he's coming up w/ all these scenarios why it would go wrong. The point is, you're given the right person for you, you don't know.

 

[DragonFox91]

The concern I had more was she wants to be selfless too. B/c she wants to be married too, you have 2 selfless people. And that could be a huge problem b/c then what's the point.

But that cant' be right b/c we're still in the flesh so can be selfish when we want to.

 

[DragonFox91]

I am fighting a losing battle. I won't get married. It's heartbreaking

 

[DragonFox91]

Sometimes you hear 'people who want to be married will meet their partner here b/c they won't in the Age to Come.' I don't think either part is accurate

 

[DragonFox91]

I am losing

 

[SarahsKnight]

I am losing

Yet, we must trust that God will ultimately win for us, in all things.

I am struggling with keeping the faith - or at least a feeling like faith - in this truth as of late, myself.

But in the end, I have hope in Him.

 

[DragonFox91]

Yet, we must trust that God will ultimately win for us, in all things.

Yeah, it is! It's all somehow working for good. He likes us so much! He's called us out of the world. He 'searched' high & low. There isn't one thing he witholds that isn't for our good, he's always helping us.

I am struggling with keeping the faith - or at least a feeling like faith - in this truth as of late, myself.

My Anchor holds, & if you are saved, yours will too! It is his promise to his children, tho I am kind of upset at him right now

But in the end, I have hope in Him.

We are promised a lot, even tho our current & past situations might be sour for us.

 

[DragonFox91]

Even when you don't want it, he takes good care of you

 

[DragonFox91]

Really good quote on killing your sin w/ the spear that pierced Jesus

 

[DragonFox91]

I am discouraged. :/

 

[Aaron112]

Not truth though.

Really good quote on killing your sin w/ the spear that pierced Jesus

[==================================]

I am discouraged. :/

This is normal.

 

[Aaron112]

I am fighting a losing battle. I won't get married. It's heartbreaking

That's not losing though if The Creator Almighty Supreme has determined you are to be single if you are in His Kingdom.

 

[DragonFox91]

That's not losing though if The Creator Almighty Supreme has determined you are to be single if you are in His Kingdom.

I agree, & you're absolutely right, but it's still hard. :/

 

[Aaron112]

I agree, & you're absolutely right, but it's still hard. :/

I believe the testimony of the faithful woman of Jesus, Corrie ten Boom, may be very helpful.
She had the severests struggles anyone could practically have and survive, physically and spiritually.
Her advantage all along her life? Her father raised her right.

Her testimonies are the best I've seen of a woman of God. (read her books if you can, or watch the short videos online - with Corrie ten Boom herself (don't count on her hosts to be worth watching) )

 

[DragonFox91]

I believe the testimony of the faithful woman of Jesus, Corrie ten Boom, may be very helpful.
She had the severests struggles anyone could practically have and survive, physically and spiritually.
Her advantage all along her life? Her father raised her right.

Her testimonies are the best I've seen of a woman of God. (read her books if you can, or watch the short videos online - with Corrie ten Boom herself (don't count on her hosts to be worth watching) )

I occasionally see her quotes on other social media sites by Christians but just looked her up. We recently discussed in church during the time of the Nazis it wasn't people's selfishness or desire for pleasure or power that gave them hope. The Christians know Who our Hope (Promise) is & it's not a feeling or an idea or thing or even another person, it's him himself.

Her advantage was not her father raised her right b/c it is not based on who your parents are, you can be raised in sin & brokenness & the Gospel will find you, her strength came from the Lord.

Today in church we discussed continuing on even when it's a struggle, b/c it's based on your own course he set out for you. There are others alongside us like Corrie ten Boom.

That's not losing though if The Creator Almighty Supreme has determined you are to be single if you are in His Kingdom.

When I was growing up I got really upset. It just seemed like I couldn't do anything or could never do anything. My parents only a handful of times talked to me about the Gospel but this time they said if you're saved, you'd much rather be saved.

 

[DragonFox91]

We've really been emphasizing take your eyes off you & your cross & fix them on him & his Cross. Why are you hanging? Why is he hanging? What did he do? What did you do? Who are you? Who is he? What does this all mean?

 

[DragonFox91]

So your sin of wanting to be married in an unhealthy way was transferred to his Cross, so you are free from that, & he sees you as married

 

[DragonFox91]

As someone who wants to be married, I can struggle w/ like how powerful the marriage kind of love can be. But Jesus says that's not the greatest kind. He says it's laying your life down for a friend. It's not even the parent/child kind.

 

[DragonFox91]

In regards to getting married:

One of the things I've been thinking about "you need to be in the garden working first" is it's not necessarily referring to career, that's how the world looks at it, that's how it works for the world, but you are not part of the world.

I’ve been thinking about how people just know they’re going to get married -> bc that’s just who he is

I’ve been thinking about how the sin of unhealthily wanting to be married was nailed to the Cross. Often when we preach a risen Jesus, we forget what the crucified Jesus did was doing.