Truths

[DragonFox91]

The church with singles & Christian parents with Christian singles didn’t get Singles ready for life as a Single Christian at all. It’s a unique mission calling & like the world it’s all focused on marriage.
When I was younger I hadn’t realized how much the Bible teaches this

 

[DragonFox91]

I noticed a problem. It seems like all singles wanna do is play video games and watch movies. I think that’s all fine in moderation. But there’s way more to life than that. I noticed it a long time ago. I’ve always struggled because I’m always given people that are obsessed with that kind of stuff and I am not. Well, I guess I was at one point, but I kind of grew out of it as I got older and realized it was an addiction

 

[DragonFox91]

Today’s message and a.m. church in general were hard.

I am walking on the street named after my great grandma. All that talent my great grandparents and great great grandparents had and what they worked for can be gone in a couple generations

 

[DragonFox91]

It all makes you feel lied to
I am struggling again, it never goes away for good

 

[DragonFox91]

This mid /30s age is a very, very, very difficult age being a struggling single b/c the Singles who were content being single & were content w/ waiting, aren't content & don't want to wait anymore. They've developed & grown as individuals, are settled in careers, & have a good idea of who they're compatible w/. They viewed themselves as 'late' but are right on time.

So when you would like to be married & are struggling, it hits you hard you are at this age.

There will probably be another wave where it hits you hard at 40, when those 'really late' are revealed to be right on time, then maybe it gets easier? I haven't determined if it gets easier or harder as I've gotten older. In some ways it's gotten easier b/c sometimes you can see God's bigger work, in some ways it's gotten harder b/c the time just affirms you can't & you knew you couldn't. It will be strange still posting in this thread a long time from now

 

[DragonFox91]

I saw this yesterday: Your ministry is the oil that comes from what crushed you

 

[DragonFox91]

I am very sad. It was too hard for me

 

[DragonFox91]

It'll all be over soon. Just a little bit longer. In a flash. In a twinkle of the eye. At the sound of the trumpet. As promised

 

[DragonFox91]

I am really struggling.
One thing that helps me is marriage is actually a signpost to him. It's a picture of his promise to us. When you see married, it's a sign of his promises to you. Not that you'll be married, but that he fulfills promises, what he says passes, he does not back out of what he says long ago, his Word does not change, he keeps his covenants, b/c he determined 2 people to be married long ago & it happened accordingly.
Also, he is behind single & married both. In the same way in his divine wisdom he determines 2 people to be married is good, he has determined singles is good. The marrieds is a picture single is good. & what marrieds really is is 2 singles.

 

[High Fidelity]

I know I've said it before and I really don't want to be uncharitable, but you're dwelling on this far too much.

Live your life without expectations, and when the unexpected happens, whatever that is, appreciate the blessing.

These posts aren't healthy. I don't think they're helping you. I think you're giving far too much time, effort and emotion to something that is neither entirely inside or outside of your control.

Do what you can. Make the effort to meet people. Talk to women at church and ask your Pastor, friends or fellow congregants you're familiar with to make enquiries or introductions. Get a group together and see what happens.

Do what is within your control, and let go of the part that isn't.

This really is not healthy.

 

[DragonFox91]

I know I've said it before and I really don't want to be uncharitable, but you're dwelling on this far too much.

Live your life without expectations, and when the unexpected happens, whatever that is, appreciate the blessing.

These posts aren't healthy. I don't think they're helping you. I think you're giving far too much time, effort and emotion to something that is neither entirely inside or outside of your control.

Do what you can. Make the effort to meet people. Talk to women at church and ask your Pastor, friends or fellow congregants you're familiar with to make enquiries or introductions. Get a group together and see what happens.

Do what is within your control, and let go of the part that isn't.

This really is not healthy.

I appreciate the insight. You are not wrong. It is true it is very hard for me as well, storms come. I try my best to distract myself, but then reality hits so thank you for trying to pull me back

 

[DragonFox91]

You want what he wants. What he wants for you is always better

 

[DragonFox91]

I am sorry guys. I am really struggling again

 

[FredVB]

Don't know how old you are. I am in my sixties and time really went by.

 

[DragonFox91]

I've been doing well but struggled today.

I've been Single so long I could never be married.

Don't know how old you are. I am in my sixties and time really went by.

I am in my mid 30's.

I hear people say 'life goes faster & faster as you get older', but I think it's slowed down. Do you want to get married? Did you want to?

 

[FredVB]

I was married. It didn't last. I thought she was Christian too, she was cheating me and she was never really on my side. It was a long while ago. I would have wanted to find someone right that I could stay married to. But I was really struggling for a long time, and there were things otherwise demanding my attention. It went from one thing to another, with few occasions to meet with any women I had opportunity to, as I just got older. I do not have the advantage of looks, or even money enough, to be attractive to others. I seek being godly in all the ways I can and have God's help in that, but it is very probably too late for me, though I would not be against it at all if there was someone right still for us to be together the rest of this life we still have.

 

[bèlla]

I think it’s time to acknowledge what we know to be true in respect to our nation and faith and its impact on human connections. There’s an inequitable level of growth between men and women which is resulting in a greater emphasis on professional attainment in one group more than the other. Education and improved opportunities in the workforce open up new horizons. Which may impact one’s values, interests and priorities.

It’s been statistically proven there’s a correlation between income and education in relation to faith especially for women. They’re more likely to be liberal than not and many are leaving the church or choosing settings whose values mirror their own. You’re not going to have great swaths of women flooding traditional settings collectively. While there’s a noticeable increase in men seeking that environment.

If we have greater numbers moving in one direction (tradition for example) and the other seeking likeminded company you’ll have an imbalance. There’s not enough women within that demographic (traditional) to meet the need. As a man with traditional values you have more competition because others desire the same whether they’re traditional or not. Most of you are seeking similar qualities in your companion irrespective of belief or political leaning. But they’re not plentiful and that’s your dilemma.

When you imagine your ideal there’s others wanting the same and there’s not enough to go around. And when you add in the racial element the numbers are smaller. There’s a lot of men seeking a caucasian woman who’s feminine, family oriented, respectful and domestically adept. Whether he’s christian or not. That’s his standard.

Your ideal may be out of reach and that doesn’t mean a life spent without companionship. But it may require a different approach to its fulfillment and a wider net. If we look at this from a realtor’s perspective we‘re in a seller’s market. Where women have the upper hand in respect to mating over men. And when that’s the case you have to consider what matters most and what you’re willing to live without.

Men have resolved this many ways in the past and the most popular is through investment. Where they focus on the musts and give less attention to areas that can be improved. This usually relates to character with less emphasis on appearance, poise, etc. All of that can be tweaked but the innards are harder to change. These are your cinderella stories so to speak but they happen on a smaller scale all the time. He finds someone whose regard inspires his investment. The areas where she’s lacking are bettered through his support and resources.

Christians can follow suit with a requisite emphasis on faith and character. If she loves the Lord and respects you that’s your glue. And regard enhances her loveliness. You won’t see the imperfections after a while. If you’re willing to think outside the box you won’t be so disheartened.

~bella