Hey, Tenken, how's it goin'?
Your latest post brought to mind this verse:
James 1:8 - "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways."
Most of what I do is I get up get ready for work, do my shift then go home and play video games till I go to bed. The video games I play are all about fighting and killing creatures. I also listen to some rock music, some has swearing in it. about one word and around only two songs have that one swear word. I read Manga and watch anime. There are some manga and anime with scenes meant for lust but I try to avoid them, and when it does come up, I dont look at it lustfully. Thats generally what I do. However, I spend all of that time talking to the demons, usually about how im not saved and then I go into a hectic panic.
So, how do you judge whether or not you should be doing, or not doing, any of the above things? Doesn't the Bible give you a standard by which you can decide? I think so:
Philippians 4:8 (NKJV)
8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.
I'm pretty sure you know that the description you've given of what you do during a day is filled with stuff that doesn't honor God. So, why do you keep playing violent, bloodthirsty video games? Why do you listen to music with foul language in it? Why do you have a diet of anime and manga that has sexual content in it? And why on earth are you talking with demons? Surely you must know that this stuff doesn't have any place in the life of a child of God?
The reason you don't obey the Lord and "set no wicked thing before your eyes" is because you have a love problem. That is, you love the Lord less than you love the things you've mentioned above. It always comes down to this, Tenken.
Sometimes I get angry however. Now I dont like getting angry, because I am prone to sin when I do. I tend to swear at the demons out of anger for them. Ill use what psychic power I have left to try and kill the demons. Actually, I usually end up fighting any spirit that comes by regardless of whether or not I want to.
Tenken, this is foolishness. You should never deal with anything demonic except to challenge it with Scripture and rebuke it in Jesus' name.
Never do anything else. You cannot win an argument with a demon on your own and you certainly cannot kill one with your psychic energy! This is not the way the Bible tells us to "resist the devil."
I tend to disobey my parents but its always little things like not wanting to tell my parents what im doing so, for example, ill say im on that chat forum site, instead of saying I was on Christianforums.com
A little lie paves the way for a big one. Satan always starts small when he tempts us to sin. He works gradually, prompting us to greater and greater evil until he destroys us. The first sin always seems so small, so harmless...
I do want to give to the poor and help out with my churchs food bank by donating money with it, but for some reason I stop and cant or dont get back to it again, and then I say "something stopped me" and then a week later ill be back to trying to get myself to donate but something stops me again. Ive attributed being stopped to the demons stopping me, and then the demons tell me im using that as an excuse to not do it. Then I get angry again and try to kill them.
So, how many demons have you killed exactly? If you can't prove you've killed any, why keep trying? Wouldn't you like to stop this futile fighting entirely? You can, you know.
Your behavior as you've described it here suggests one of two things is true of you:
1. You aren't saved.
2. You are saved but sin is preventing proper fellowship between you and God.
The voices have often said that, Im not failing by doing things I shouldnt, its not doing things I should, like keeping the Holy days like pentecost and the feast of tabernacles. I dont even know if were still suppose to BE keeping them.
This is nonsense, a distraction from the real issue, which is your lack of love for the Lord.
I also eat ALOT of candy and pop which is unhealthy. I also end up going to porn sites and look lustfully. However, I only end up buying candy and looking at porn cuz the demons make me.
If you're a Christian you choose these things; no demon can
make you do so
. Sure, a demon might make you
feel like you have no choice, but the
truth is that, in Christ, you have been made a "servant of righteousness":
Romans 6:16-18 (KJV)
16 Know ye not, that to whom you yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants you are to whom you obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?
17 But God be thanked, that you were the servants of sin, but you have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. 18 Being then made free from sin, you became the servants of righteousness.
You can go with what you feel and remain in bondage, or you can begin to stand on the truth and win free of those things you've been deceived into believing you cannot resist.
I literally feel solmething controlling me and I resist till all willpower fades and its not getting any easier to resist. So I started thinking that it was the demons making look at the porn instead of it being my own sin.
The only way a demon can do anything like what you've described here is if you are not submitted to God. Unless you are submitted to Him, there is simply no point in trying to resist demonic powers. Make no mistake, though, when you stand before God the excuse "the devil made me do it" isn't gonna' wash.
even after typing all this im still not sure if Im saved or not. I couldnt make a right judgment to save my life. I OFTEN pray for god to bring me back to him and to stop the demons from making me do these things so I can actually BE more righteous. but it doesnt happen.
Sometimes we want God to make a puppet out of us and make us do what we know He wants us to do. But God doesn't want puppets; He wants people. Here are some more verses from the Book of James that address what you've written in the above quotation:
James 1:2-7 (KJV)
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith works patience.
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that gives to all men liberally and upbraids not; and it shall be given him.
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavers is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
I think God is doing something with you or you wouldn't be writing for help. You can be sure, though, that God will not answer in the way you may expect. Whatever the case, double-minded thinking, or being fickle with the Lord, brings confusion and doubt that prevents what answer God may have for you in response to your prayers.
If you really want to help yourself, start feeding on the Word of God. Open up the Bible and do the following:
1. Meditate on Scripture.
2. Memorize Scripture.
3. Harmonize your life with Scripture.
May I suggest Romans 6, 7, and 8, The Book of Proverbs, and 1 John?
Everything, though, starts with falling in love with Christ and then growing deeper in that love as time passes:
Ephesians 3:14-19 (KJV)
14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
19 And to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fulness of God.
Peace to you.
some say its a 6 day creation, some say theres a gap between verse one and two of genesis... and these guys know hebrew
