Well, speaking as a six-year military veteran who also has about twenty more years in law enforcement experience on the street, those are pretty common traits.
I'm not really sure that pointing out how common these traits are helps an argument that we shouldn't see them as a problem. Especially when you later write so eloquently about exactly how much a culture which insists on these traits has been harmful to you.
In certain types of work, you need to be physically tough.
Sure. But the point here is, suppose something happens which means that's no longer possible. An injury, an infection, an illness, aging, whatever. If that means at that point you're seen as less of a man, less worthy, having less respect, and so on, that's where the problem is. The person who blames you for the problems of PTSD is an example of this kind of problem.
The facts of life are that women choose men for mating, raising potential children and protection.
I rolled my eyes so hard my vision hasn't recovered yet. No, women don't choose men for protection. We choose men as life partners, who will share with us through life's ups and downs and be willing to work as a team through life's challenges.
Women generally choose a mate who is at least equivalent to them or higher and it's more often than not, men who are higher in the hierarchal ladder who are chosen. It's rare that a woman marries down when seeking a mate.
The only women who need to behave this way are those who have been denied opportunities in their own lives. Women who have education, employment, and so on, are free to choose a man for reasons other than wealth or social power.
Boys without meaning life, will become violent and we're seeing that today.
Anyone without meaning in life is a problem; but for boys in particular, when "meaning" is defined in very narrow ways, that sets many of them up to struggle, which is part of the problem of "toxic masculinity."
I look at the list and I think that "violence" definitely needs to be addressed. However, if my manners being a veteran, a gun owner, a hunter, a fisherman, a 911 Dispatcher, a straight male, a Christian male offends someone... I'm not toxic.
I find it fascinating that you've gone from "violence" to "manners." I'm not a fan of hunting or fishing, personally; and clearly I'm a Christian; but these things have nothing to do with what we're discussing here.
I think it is a misunderstanding for anyone to apply these terms to individuals, rather than to social trends. It's not right for anyone to label you, personally, as "toxic," and even though I disagree with you on some points in this thread, that is not in any sense an accusation from me.
1. Unconditional physical toughness. If we’re talking about men’s view of themselves then I disagree as some men want to be physically strong there’s nothing wrong with this.
Again, this is not saying that strength, or pursuing strength, is bad; it's about seeing men who don't fit that stereotype as less-than which is the problem.
But men have to learn to channel this aggression to healthy outlets,
Precisely. But again, seeing unhealthy aggression as a normal and necessary part of masculinity is where the problem is.
6. Anti-feminist behavior. Women shouldn’t be treated any differently then men are treated fully agree. But some under the umbrella of feminism like abortion and having majority of custody of children shouldn’t be something that men should be forced to agree with.
That's not what this is about; this is about gender-based hierarchy and rigid gender roles, often enforced by violence and threat.
I think we all support women living as partners with all the same rights and privileges that men enjoy. We’re all human and nobody should be discriminated against because of sex.
Sadly, I can find lots of people on this site who would disagree.
