Topless/Nude Beach?

[Beth1231]

To the OP:
I've never been to a nude or topless beach and if hubby and I were at a beach and discovered "oops, this is one", then we would leave. Immediately.
Yeah, it would affect our marriage if we visited them. For one thing, our convictions would suffer a huge blow. Hubby turns his head or looks down if we pass Victoria Secret in the mall. I figure when he says that he's honoring me that he knows what's going on in his mind. I appreciate that.

 

[Johnnz]

To the OP:
I've never been to a nude or topless beach and if hubby and I were at a beach and discovered "oops, this is one", then we would leave. Immediately.
Yeah, it would affect our marriage if we visited them. For one thing, our convictions would suffer a huge blow. Hubby turns his head or looks down if we pass Victoria Secret in the mall. I figure when he says that he's honoring me that he knows what's going on in his mind. I appreciate that.

I respect your husband for doing that, but I think that is not a particularly healthy attitude to have.

He sees another woman, who may be attractive. What goes on in his mind that is so wrong? His perception of her attractiveness requires that he has already 'evaluated' her in some way to reach that conclusion. (Time frame to do that can be measured in nanoseconds). There is nothing wrong in that. We all do that sort of evelaution all the time with most of what we see. Perhaps he recognsies she has 'nice' breasts or a pretty face, or a real curvy body. Those are matters of fact. Only a blind person could miss those characteristics.

So, what is his sin?

Let's go a bit further. She really is gorgeous and displays a deep cleavage as proof of her attributes. He can just observe that fact, or he may have some thoughts about just how nice she is, or even get an erection. At the very worst that is no more than a sexual response to a sexual stimulus. That is not at all lustful, just a conditioned response. Frankly, men with a genuine christian comittment don't eye up women as possible sex partners, even when they experience some sexual arousal.

All the anxiety about guys seeing attractive females seems so misplaced. It can be a terrible judgement on a perfectly normal, comitted guy. It can drive a wedge between husband and wife. I get concerned about the insecurity many Christian women have within their own marriages, their inability to trust their husbands deeply. I have spoken to many comitted Christian women who have been widowed. They have told me of their sudden social isolation. She is at a social event talking quite naturally and happily with a guy she has known for years. Then, along comes his wife and quietly leads her husband away form the danger of talking to an unattached woman. What a terrible indictment of both that woman and the husband!

I enjoy women, and even though I have been somewhat aroused by some women when I was younger and more eaily responsive, I have never for a moment contemplated or had the slightest flicker of either desire or intention to engage in sexual activity with another woman. I can enjoy and appeciate a woman without that being any threat to my marriage, or my needing to squash 'lust' because attractive woman populate my world daily.

A lot of Christian marriages would be more fulfilling sexually if husband and wife could openly enjoy any beauty seen in others and talk about it freely. That process would feed into their sexual intimacy quite healthily.

John
NZ

 

[obibask]

Hi All,
If I remember very well I read somewhere that overexposure (and what constitutes over exposure? it's cultural I supose) to the opposite sex diminishes our response to sex stimuli to that point that we may need drugs to respond effectively and perform.

 

[firestar]

When we were on vacation a few years ago, there were some people who chose to go topless in certain areas of the beach and it didn't bother either one of us at all. Firstly I don't feel threatened if a beautiful woman is around that he might find attractive, and second it was a cultural thing.

 

[Darkhorse]

My wife and I have visited nude beaches since we met 25 years ago. No jealousy, no lust, no affairs, just the purity of Jesus in our impure hearts. Our kids understand that society expects them to wear clothes, but they also know that clothes do not make people moral or modest. We enjoy the beauty of Eden and the freedom bought by Christ's sacrifice, to worship Him "naked and unashamed".

 

[Archivist]

And it is my understanding that it was done with the ceremonial baptismal garment which covered the lady and the man from the neck to her knees. Can you tell me when they got rid of this and started going nude, as the last reference to this being used was in the late 1800's? It was what Joseph Smith used to model his undergarments after, which are still worn today.

The nude baptisms that I described were occurring in the early Church, circa 300 AD.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Hmm...a thread about going to a topless beach.
That would have been totally cool when I was 15.

 

[Devchenka]

I do have to add though that seeing a naked womam or partially naked woman affects a guy different than a girl. And every guy will say they are mature enough to handle it, but no guy can clear the memory out of their minds, were it actually burns an image in there.

I am so agree with you!
When me and my husband went to Jamaica on our honeymoon there was another side of the beach where you can be naked, but there werent that much people, and i decided to take my top off...one guy though who was working there walking circles looking at the girls, i felt weird.

When we were in CA, there was another beach where my husband said we should go, and i said no way, i dont have any desire to be around naked people and there is no way i would feel comfortable beeing naked around them.

My understanding you want to be naked walk in your backyard or at the private place why showing off in front of other people.

 

[beehoney]

No. Neither of us would ever go out in public in the nude.

 

[Rev.Ross]

When I was a young guy, I went to a nude beach on a few occasions. I was expecting a real sexy experience. After a couple of minutes that wore off. I never lusted, in fact being there gave me a great sense of calmness. I was surrounded by the beauty God made in a non-erotic way., and found it peaceful. People were swimming in the nude, laying on the beach nude, and playing frisbee in the nude. Nothing was wrong with this. I live away from the beach now, but would go if I had a chance. I think all beaches should be opne to nudity, like it is in Europe. Nudity does not mean sex. Nudity is not porn. Nudity is natural and should be celebrated in non-sexual ways.
Thanks, Rev. Ross

 

[Audiomechanic]

First, holy thread resurection, batman! 6 years! Well done, sir.

Second, as a former porn addict who still suffers mentally from the damage, your perspective makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

 

[FaithPrevails]

I have only been to one "tops optional" beach in my life...and I kept my top on. I don't have any issue with topless or nude beaches - they're just not for me. I'm just not that comfortable with my own body (hubby likes it way more than I do).

I know there are all shapes and sizes that frequent topless or nude beaches (and regular beaches for that matter). I just don't see the need to go if I'm not there to be topless or nude.

True story - I worked in a home daycare when I was 18 and one of the families was a nudist family. Their 2 yr old that was in the daycare was constantly stripping down to her diaper and trying to take that off, too. lol

 

[Johnnz]

I have found that its body image rather than any deep seated moral objections that deter many women from participation in any social nudity. Yet, it is one of the most helpful ways to address that issue.

John
NZ

 

[Rev.Ross]

Let's get beyond porn and the Western sexualization of the human body.
Nudity does not mean sex or porn. It is what we have in our minds that makes something pure like the nude human body into porn. Let's just recognize that God made us nude, and we all live nude to some extent. Take a look at a website called mychainsaregone.org
This man has a great view of the human body and he helped me. Check it out. One of the Christian men who started this is a Registered Nurse and a minister. The views on this site will free many Christian men from the bondage of porn. Turn away from porn to God, and recognize the nude body is great and beautiful.
Blessings to you, Rev. Ross

 

[Romanseight2005]

That's true for all societies. Part of what men view as sensual is the forbidden. If breast exposure is normal, then exposure won't spark thoughts and reactions as often as in forbidden societies.

For that matter, some Muslim countries have men who would tell you seeing a woman's face sparks thoughts and lust - because it is forbidden.

The fact that societal norms help determine what sparks lust in men of that society doesn't change the fact that it is still lust. I would expect American men to respond differently at a topless beach than European or African for that reason. And as such, American men should be more careful and aware.

FWIW, I agree with SVT4Him about "most" being correct. I've seen enough in men's ministry group seminars to firmly believe it is a majority. Though clearly not universal.

The bold part is very telling. No wonder so many men have such issues with thinking that their sexuality is sinful. If what they are sexually stimulated by, the most, is the forbidden, then what you are saying is that they are drawn to sinful sexuality.

 

[Johnnz]

The bold part is very telling. No wonder so many men have such issues with thinking that their sexuality is sinful. If what they are sexually stimulated by, the most, is the forbidden, then what you are saying is that they are drawn to sinful sexuality.

My take though is that far too much of what is meant to be normal human sexuality is deemed 'sinful', and that, to my mind, causes an awful lot of problems. We have inherited a harmful mixture of Greek thinking that has distorted much earlier Christian thinking and teaching. That has got intermingled within our western societies with moral, social and personal values, many of which do not have a genuine biblical basis.

For example, the Genesis story has long been interpreted as God requiring body coverings, as sin made exposure of our sexual components shameful. Clothing was therefore a Divine requirement. More recent exegesis sees the clothing incident as a part of the recurring theme throughout Scriptures, of God's inintiative in covering sin in order to restore relationship, brought to its completion in Christ.

John
NZ

 

[Rev.Ross]

John, a very hearty agreement here. A lot of Greek philosophy eased itself into Christianity through the syncretism of Augustine with his Manichaeism. He was the major figure who taught the body and sex were evil and the source of sin. Genesis does not prescribe the covering of Adam and Eve as normative for the Judeo-Christian ethic. I think it has more to do with covering sin, a theme over and over in Scripture.
Thanks, Rev. Ross

 

[Audiomechanic]

Rev Ross and Johnnz,

What you two are saying has really made something click in my small but twisted, mangled, and warped mind. Nudity is NOT porn! That made me think. Made me think of why a woman appears more attractive sexually in her underwear than in a bikini when the bikini covers just as little skin as the under garments. Or why a pair of legs become so much more desirable when protruding from a pair of short shorts or a short skirt than from the same swim wear. Perhaps it is because swim wear, in itself, is designed for...well....swimming. And short shorts are designed for something else: "I have legs. Look at them!"

I don't know if I'm making any sense at all, but it makes sense in my mind. I want so badly to see women as people. Humans. Daughters of God. But instead I see them as products. Things. A collection of clothing covered parts that I imagine seeing more of. My mind has so warped that I don't envision these women/girls as real people, with real problems and real talents and real dreams and real trials and pains and problems and wisdom. I envision them as my play things in my mind. But I admit, that strangly enough, these thought patterns that are cemented in my mind from years of submitting to porn, are at their least when I am at the beach or pool where the most skin is exposed. The thought patterns are still there, but are...less.

I'm sorry for my ramblings here. You guys just made something click in my head.

Thanks.

 

[Conservativation]

The bold part is very telling. No wonder so many men have such issues with thinking that their sexuality is sinful. If what they are sexually stimulated by, the most, is the forbidden, then what you are saying is that they are drawn to sinful sexuality.

If he had said that, maybe...just maybe youd have a point. But you as per usual added "the most" to something he clearly mentioned as an aspect, which neither expresses most or least.

So...no....its "not very telling"

More, after reading it again, I think you completely misunderstood his post....in way more ways than just your adding "the most" to it. It doesnt suggest what you are saying whatsoever

 

[Rev.Ross]

Dear Audio,
Thanks for the note. I think you are on to something here. The normal human body, male or female, nude is not sinful. What we put on it or halfway put on it makes us lust at times. We lost to see what is underneath those skimpy clothes. With a nude body , every thing is open and nothing hidden. This is just normal and not sinful. Women are just people like us, and then not like us in many ways. But we are all human beings. Both men and women were created in the image of God. Women are real people just like us with all of their warts and flaws. Have you been to mychainsaregone.org yet? Those guys are great. They taught me a lot and drew together a lot of loose ends for me. They helped me overcome the last vestiges of lust. Freedom in Christ is a great thing and it would not bother me to go to a nude beach and just swim with other nude people. Those bodies are just as God made them to be. It is wonderful to be freed from lust. Blessings to you-Rev. Ross