Told God to give up on me **Trigger Warning**

[heisrisen90]

(possible trigger warning)


While crying my eyes out in despair i just told God to give up on me, i said im not good enough. i know everyone here will say "nobody is good enough" and say things of the sort. Meanwhile i read the bible and cant find grace and if i do the joy is short lived before im bombarded by demands, expectations, and things that sound like "better not do that", "true believers are perfect".

im just not good enough. I feel like hes up there yelling all the time "no you idiot" "thats what you get" "should have been better". i feel like im going to see him someday and hes going to say lazy coward depart from me

I have NO IDEA how people find hope in the bible besides a few verses they sometimes take out of context. meanwhile every verse that can possibly sound condemning just repeats all day long in my mind


Why am i not good enough for God? Why wont he help me? I thought he loved me...

(on top of it my church is preaching on James right now.....WONDERFUL!!!!)

 

[Not David]

You have to remember that without God's grace no one is good enough for him.

 

[paul1149]

(on top of it my church is preaching on James right now.....WONDERFUL!!!!)

It is wonderful. James is a book loaded with grace - real grace, not the phony kind, the kind that will set you free if you pursue it.

Look at the last third of chapter 3, for instance. It describes the wisdom of God. God's wisdom is first of all pure, then peaceable. Then it goes on with characteristics that echo Galatians 5's fruit of the Spirit. Does 'peaceable" sound like what you've been experiencing? I think not. That's not God's voice you've been hearing.

One of the great dilemmas in Christianity is that we bring our filters to our Bible reading. If we were brought up gracelessly or lovelessly, that is what we tend to see in the Word. That is why Jesus says, "If you remain in My word, you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." That implies the necessity of time and perseverance to learn the truth.

In pursuing the truth, we can be sure that we're going to come against the strongholds that were erected within us by the circumstances of our lives. But the word of God is sharper than a two-edged sword, and is able to separate between soul and spirit. We just need to hang tough and let the word do its work in us.

Or simply put, tell the condemnation to take a hike, and return your focus to the word that can free you. Maybe begin in Romans 8 and Philippians 4.

 

[MMDave3]

I think you're putting yourself under a lot of unnecessary stress. God loves you, relax. Don't try so hard. No one is perfect. I realize the stuff I'm saying might sound cliche but hang in there.

 

[St_Worm2]

Hi heisrisen90, have you talked with your pastor about all this. If not, go in after church tomorrow and do so.

As for all the things that you mentioned above (things that you believe God is saying to you), that's not God's voice, that's somebody else who is trying to have his way with you and succeeding .. James 4:7; 1 Peter 5:8-9.

There are many times in our walks with God that we need to 1. carefully consider/remember who God is and what He did for us 2. remember the great promises He made to us .. e.g. John 3:16, 5:24; Romans 8:1, 28, 10:9-10; Philippians 1:6, 2:13; Hebrews 7:25; 1 John 5:13; 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 and 3. STOP listening to Satan and believe God/take Him at HIS word instead*.

*(we do this based upon the facts that we know to be true about Him, on the promises He's made to us and our trust/faith in Him and His ability/intention to fulfill them all .. cf Romans 4:20-21, and on the experience that we've had with Him in the past, not on our present emotional state/how we're feeling in the moment).

And if you're ever having trouble finding "grace" again, no problem, just look to the Cross .. John 3:16.

Praying for you!

Yours and His,
David
p.s. - BTW, if I was good enough for God, there's no doubt that you are too. After all, He came to call the sick who know they need a doctor, not the self-righteous who think they don't! He also made it clear that he's in the business of saving the "wicked", not those who think that they're good.

Remember this too, He knew exactly what He was doing, and exactly who He was getting when He saved you and me. We may surprise ourselves with our sinful behavior unfortunately , but we are never a surprise to God. You are 'definitely' good enough for Him brother

Mark 2
17 Jesus said to them, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Romans 4
5 To the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness.

​

My hope lives not because I am not a sinner, but because I am a sinner
for whom Christ died; my trust is not that I am holy, but that being unholy,
HE is my righteousness. My faith rests not upon what I am or shall be or feel or
know, but in what Christ is, in what He has done, and in what He is now doing for me.
Hallelujah!

~Charles H. Spurgeon~​

 

[WilliamBo]

I know exactly how you feel OP. You feel like you won't be "counted worthy." I'm constantly worried about that. When I see Christians that just "get it" so easily and naturally and actually LIVE it, I'm just like why am I so stubborn and not doing that? What is in me that causes me to be disobedient?

Praying for you. James is a great book.

 

[Valetic]

You are a child of the light and not a child of darkness. This is a weak spot you have the devil is taking advantage of. He loves to hit your weak spots.

For the most part, from now on when you see these things of judgement and negative connotation in the bible, assume they are for the children of darkness which they are meant for, and who you are not.

Yea faith without works is dead but if you believe in Jesus then He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. If you have faith then bearing good fruit will be evident somewhere in your life. It might not be as big as offering your child up on an altar of sacrifice but you will put out because His seed remains in you.

The Lord will fight your battles, you need only be still.

 

[Serving Zion]

(possible trigger warning)


While crying my eyes out in despair i just told God to give up on me, i said im not good enough. i know everyone here will say "nobody is good enough" and say things of the sort. Meanwhile i read the bible and cant find grace and if i do the joy is short lived before im bombarded by demands, expectations, and things that sound like "better not do that", "true believers are perfect".

im just not good enough. I feel like hes up there yelling all the time "no you idiot" "thats what you get" "should have been better". i feel like im going to see him someday and hes going to say lazy coward depart from me

I have NO IDEA how people find hope in the bible besides a few verses they sometimes take out of context. meanwhile every verse that can possibly sound condemning just repeats all day long in my mind


Why am i not good enough for God? Why wont he help me? I thought he loved me...

(on top of it my church is preaching on James right now.....WONDERFUL!!!!)

Awww, buddy! .. you are not getting the voice of God, our loving shepherd who leads us by still waters! .. that voice is trying to destroy you, flee from it! (John 10:5).

I am wondering which translation are you reading! .. ? I know that some translations are utter failures, they know nothing of grace. I like the TLV version for that reason, not that it's quite the perfect translation that I'm looking for, but the spirit in the translators is of a pure and contrite heart and it produces a healthy type of thinking (Matthew 12:33).

It also sounds like your church could be putting a negative spirit in you, (by your groan at the book of James!) .. I love James, he's so graceful and compassionate, a man full of truth and conviction but also generous with good advice!

See how so small a fire sets a blaze so great a forest! And the tongue is a fire.

The tongue is a world of evil placed among our body parts. It pollutes the whole body and sets on fire the course of life—and is set on fire by Gehenna.

For every species of beasts and birds, reptiles and sea creatures, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With it we bless our Adonai and Father, and with it we curse people, who are made in the image of God.

From the same mouth comes blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be. A spring doesn’t pour out fresh and bitter water from the same opening, does it?

My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Neither can salt water produce fresh water.

Gentle Wisdom from Above
Who among you is wise and understanding? By his good conduct let him show his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not boast and lie against the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil practice.

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, not hypocritical. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in shalom by those who make shalom.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

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[heisrisen90]

I had this in the depression section because that is probably the whole reason i feel like this.

Thanks for the comments.
If anyone wants you can look at my previous thread and see what ive been going through
https://www.christianforums.com/threads/at-the-end-of-what-i-can-take.8069762/

I keep asking God for fruit and for evidence that hes in my life
The only real fruit i see in my life is i care about others more, im not totally hateful towards other people as i used to be, although maybe thats because ive gotten more compassionate throughout this ordeal idk

Ive talked to Pastors, Christian counselors, this worthless brain of mine can never remember one single thing thats said so it doesn't make much difference. God has left me alone to try and figure this out, even if i had a friend(one) i figure i might be better but i guess God doesn't want that. and i diddnt go to church today whats the point when the entire time im there im panicking, having facial tics, the most depressing and stress filled time of my week is funny enough the day i go to church so.

Wish i could just go home... im tired

 

[St_Worm2]

Ive talked to Pastors, Christian counselors, this worthless brain of mine can never remember one single thing thats said so it doesn't make much difference. God has left me alone to try and figure this out, even if i had a friend(one) i figure i might be better but i guess God doesn't want that. and i diddnt go to church today whats the point when the entire time im there im panicking, having facial tics, the most depressing and stress filled time of my week is funny enough the day i go to church so.

Hi again heisrisen, you can call your pastor (I call mine all the time), and then tell him why you need to record all of the conversations you're having with him from now on

 

[Jeshu]

The best advise that i can give you is to not any longer believe the lies of your depression, for they are robbing you of your faith in God's love. When i was depressed i believed the same thing as you for many years, to my utter anguish. Was suicidal for ages.

The difference? i changed my mind about the direction of my thoughts and instead of agreeing with the darkness of my mind i disagreed and used the bible to prove those lies that God is good life and love not depression and hellish anguish.

i bought music that speaks Scripture to help me be reminded of the truth of God's love over me. i listen a lot to the 'Sons of Korah', an Australian Christian band who have put many psalms to music - and Sherri Youngward who sings Psalms as well as Scripture pieces. Good music too - singing the word of God to me when i'm depressed and down the dumps to remind me of the love and goodness of The Lord and keep my eyes on Jesus and not my misery. Helps a great deal when you have to battle depressive thoughts. The good thing is you learn good pieces of Scripture by heart because the songs are so nice and calming that i remember them in times of battle even when the music isn't playing. That is how the word of God can help us in our distress and we can gain our good life back.

Faith in God's love brings a lot of hope. Your negative view of God, yourself and others - shaped by your depression depressing you - speaks your daily 'truths' however depression is a notorious liar - as many people who struggle(d) with depression can tell you. God however never lies to us and He says 'I love you!' to all His offspring, you included.

Be of good courage. You are loved - like all the other Saints have been loved by Jesus. God has not given up on you, but you are giving up on Him, and now you ask Him to give up on you because you look at you and not at Jesus. The truth is Jesus will never give up on you. He has very best in store for you. Here and in Heaven.

Jesus paid the price! Jesus paid your price as well. Please never forget that. You don't have to pay. All you need to do is believe that Jesus loves you, and loves giving you back your good life, it is for you to go to Him. The even if depression stays as an illness good life will also be and strength to endure in your life. For believing in Jesus' blood has power to overcome hardship and failure and break free from an ugly past and begin a new life in and with Jesus as King and Lord of all.

Praying you dare turn around from the path you have chosen and let God's Word do the fighting instead of your depression provide you with your solutions. Dare let go of the old way of doing things and learn a new life in Christ - time and again - and your life will be heaps better in just a few years.

For Jesus says to you;

Isaiah 61:1-7
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.


They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
And you will be called priests of the Lord,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.


Instead of your shame
you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.

 

[well hey]

I know what you mean about how you feel about the bible!!! I sometimes 'hate' reading it and want nothing to do with it. But once I get in i cant stop the spiritual blessing overflow. Your wearing dark glasses about scripture. The best advice I got about reading the Bible is that- when it seems scary and harsh, its not, the truth is -its Gods Love letter to you. Think about Gods love and desire to feed you though his word : )