To all the ladies praying for a husband

yam

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I got this message from someone and I wanted to share it. Be encouraged ladies.

Hello TalkJesus, I got this wonderful message from another board.
I hope you women will be encouraged by this!

To All My Sisters Who Are Praying For A Husband.
I want to encourage you to stop.
Hear me out...
The Bible tells us that when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing and obtains favor with the Lord. Proverbs 18:22. That says a whole lot more than we give it credit for.

This verse in Proverbs speaks volumes about the order of things in God's kingdom.
Genesis Chapter 1 tells the story of God deciding to make the earth and everything on it.
He then makes man and has man proceed to set everything up, get everything in order and lock it down.
He blesses everything that Adam does and in Chapter 2, God lays down the rules regarding the tree of life for Adam, in other words, He gives Adam the vision. Notice that Eve wasn't even there yet. We'll get back to that.

Once man has done all his preparing and organizing and gotten the vision from God
(learns what it is that God wants him to do), then God says that its not good for him to be alone, lets make him a help meet.
That's when woman is taken out of what was already made and created to be a second half.

Why did I mention all of this?

Because ladies, I'd like to present to you the idea that its time to stop praying for your husband to appear, but instead, its time to pray and thank God for your marriages, and pray for yourself as a wife. Faith is an interesting thing, I tell you.

There are two types of women. The first type is simply that, a woman. She was made to be a woman and without the grace and mercy of God has no business being anybody's wife.
Y'all know what I'm talking about, you see them and hear about them all the time.
They have no desire to be anybody's team mate or help meet or anything else for that matter. It's all about them and what they want and when they want it.
And you can't fault them because they're just living out their nature.
But there's even hope for the woman because with prayer, supplication, study and sacrifice, she too can be a Godly wife. God's grace is sufficient for ALL of us

The second type is what is referred to in Proverbs 31 as the virtuous woman.This is a woman who was created to be a wife. God has instilled within her the desire to be married, to be submitted, to be loved and cared for and to reverence her husband, to care for the people in her life and children if they are her heart's desire, to be a servant to the people who she loves because she's confident in the love she has for herself.

Some of us feel like we are are just born to do it, and we are born to do it because God makes us that way. Some of us are born to be a wife. And what we do, we do it well.
Yeah, we don't always get it right, we stumble and make mistakes
, but what we are at our very core, is a woman who knows how to be a wife.
If you're reading this post, that's probably the call that God has placed on you.
Knowing that you were created to be a wife that will cause your thinking to change.

If you were created to be a wife then that means your husband was made to be your husband. In other words, you don't have to pray him into existence because he already exists. Here's where it gets good ladies. I tell you, God thinks of everything. Ain't He awesome?!

Eve didn't get there before Adam
, Adam was already in position and he had already gotten the vision from God. Adam didn't even know he needed help, but God knew, and God created what he needed. This tells me that before I knew I was supposed to be somebody's wife, my husband had already been chosen by God and everything that man needed was put inside of me. As a matter of fact, after we got married my husband would always say that God gave him more than what he wanted, He gave him what he needed when He gave him me. And I'm so thankful that He did!

But see, that's God's order of things.
That's why God says its the man who finds a wife, not a wife who prays for a husband.

See, God loves His women a great deal, and He sees us as the gift that he gives to man.
He is our protector, our Ultimate Daddy. Knowing this, He set up the order of things for the man to find, nurture and cherish the woman he is given. All you have to do is be found. That's it.
We don't have to make it happen because its already been done.
You just sit pretty and be ready to be found.

I encourage you to change your prayers. Stop praying for a husband.
If you're a wife, that means you've already got one. Just sit pretty and wait for him to find you.
And when the time is right, he will find you.
But to be found, you have to be ready to be pulled out of where you are and fashioned into something new.
The only way to do this is to focus on God and what He is saying to you.

When you believe God's going to do something for you, you prepare yourself for it.
I encourage you to devote yourself to learning about how to be a Godly wife so that when your day comes, you'll have some virtue to bring honor to your husband and glory to God.

Waiting does not consist of dating. Waiting consists of being selective and very protective of who you give your time and attention to. One of the reasons why the man is supposed to have to look for you is because you're supposed to be so hidden in God, so wrapped up in Him (and yourself) that he has to literally make you notice him, make you see him.
He's supposed to work for it not get it handed to him on a silver platter.

Come on ladies, we have to keep it real. I guarantee you that if you stop looking you'll get found.
It may not happen over night because of the facts of life, but God's word is always yes and amen. He says in Isaiah that His Word will NOT return to Him void.
It will ALWAYS accomplish that which He sent it to do. Isaiah 55:11. Stand on that.

Get all the knuckleheads and fools out of your life. They're taking up valuable space and making it harder for your husband to find you. Be selective about yours, get into the Word and find out how much you're worth. If anyone needs help with this, let's encourage each other in the Lord. If you're struggling in this area, say so, and allow your sisters in God to lift you up in prayer, hold you accountable and keep you reminded of what the Word says. I wish there was less judgment in the church and more love and encouragement. We all gotta start from somewhere.

Be encouraged!
 
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THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!

Seriously, this has been something that I've been wanting to hear for so long. I'm constantly feeling pressured by my own mother to "find a nice guy and marry him and blah blah blah". She's always telling me that she prays that I'll find a husband and that God would send him to me and all that jazz. And while I know she means well, it puts a LOT of pressure on me. I feel like somewhat of a "failure" because I'm 22 and single.

I've never had anyone put this perspective on things. You've really enlightened me in this area of my life, and the next time this topic comes up between my mom and I, I hope that I can remember some of the points you brought up and maybe we'll come to an understanding.
 
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leothelioness

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I encourage you to change your prayers. Stop praying for a husband.
If you're a wife, that means you've already got one.
When I read that part I was like, "Ya think?"

Just sit pretty and wait for him to find you.
I'm not sure how well that actually works in practice. If at all.

One of the reasons why the man is supposed to have to look for you is because you're supposed to be so hidden in God, so wrapped up in Him (and yourself) that he has to literally make you notice him, make you see him.
There's that dreaded quote again. :D

He's supposed to work for it not get it handed to him on a silver platter.
I really do not agree with this.
 
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eric246

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I really do not agree with this.

I would agree with you. I think society always says guys should ask out girls, but what difference does it make as long as you find your life partner? I don't mind having to ask out girls, but if a girl I like actually came up to me, I wouldn't mind that either. I also think that if the two will make each other better people / Christians, what difference does it make as long as they become stronger followers of God because of it?
 
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Sketcher

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I have mixed feelings about this.

While the message to be patient and trust in the Lord is good, this hints at "the one," which isn't necessarily a biblical teaching.

But if even if we were to assume that God has a specific man picked out for you, he's not finished yet. Remember that Adam and Eve were made before the curse, and everyone born since is tainted by it, and everyone born again is in recovery from it. Heck, he might not even be saved yet. Now, he won't be Mr. Right until he's saved and sanctified to whatever point. So do him and possibly yourselves a favor by praying for him to be sanctified. He will be grateful, since getting yourself to be good enough for one of God's best daughters is a very uphill climb.
 
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Inkachu

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I agree with some and disagree with some...let's see now...

"The second type is what is referred to in Proverbs 31 as the virtuous woman.This is a woman who was created to be a wife. God has instilled within her the desire to be married, to be submitted, to be loved and cared for and to reverence her husband, to care for the people in her life and children if they are her heart's desire, to be a servant to the people who she loves because she's confident in the love she has for herself."

Uh...okay...to say that if a woman doesn't desire children, or doesn't desire to "be a servant to the people who she loves"...that she isn't or shouldn't be wife material? I'm sorry, where does the Bible say that wives are servants to everyone around them? What about missionary couples who choose to be childless so they can do the Lord's work?

"Adam was already in position and he had already gotten the vision from God."

Adam got a vision from God about his forthcoming wife? Where? Scripture reference, please?

"If you're a wife, that means you've already got one. Just sit pretty and wait for him to find you.
And when the time is right, he will find you.
"

I sort of agree with this...I agree that the man should do the pursuing, the initiating, but I don't think that all women, especially in our current culture, should just sit in their houses knitting mittens and expect some guy to knock on the door and go "Hi, I'm your husband!"

"I guarantee you that if you stop looking you'll get found."

I think that is a terrible promise to make to ALL WOMEN. Some women are not going to "get found". Plenty of wonderful Christian women have stopped looking, and are still single. Statements like this make me really irritated. It also suggests that, if you're a single woman, you're somehow to blame because you're not playing this cosmic game by the rules the OP has decided are the right rules.

While I disagree with the general premise of the OP, I do agree with some things:

"Waiting does not consist of dating."

Absolutely, 10000% agree. I don't think "dating" in the modern sense is anything God ever intended for people to do.

"Get all the knuckleheads and fools out of your life. They're taking up valuable space and making it harder for your husband to find you."

OH if only people would take this advice!! This one goes for women AND men alike. Quit settling for less than God's best for you because you're lonely!! So many problems and so much pain could be avoided by just learning to be single UNTIL God decides to move, whether that be a year or ten years.
 
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I sort of agree with this...I agree that the man should do the pursuing, the initiating, but I don't think that all women, especially in our current culture, should just sit in their houses knitting mittens and expect some guy to knock on the door and go "Hi, I'm your husband!"
Oh my gosh, I literally Laughed Out Loud at this!! Could you imagine if that actually did happen? :doh:

To the OP:
When I was saying "thank you" in my previous post, I was mostly saying "thank you" for clearing up the fact that you simply cannot pray your future husband (if God decides to bless you with one) into existence.
 
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God has been teaching me a lot of those things.. Proverbs 31, preperation, no dating until I get to know the guy first and become friends with him - then pray about it and if it's God's will then to start going on dates, waiting on the Lord, God's given me a great passion for the simple life and working with my hands - I long to have a garden and to live on farm with my husband :), and He's getting me physically healthy.. I believe all these things are preparing me to be the wife God wants me to be one day.
I also feel like, deep down, I already know who my husband is. And that he's younger than me. And that I need to be praying for him - Romans 12:2 over him.
He's in control!
 
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Inkachu

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Oh my gosh, I literally Laughed Out Loud at this!! Could you imagine if that actually did happen? :doh:

I know, I imagine him coming in, flopping down on the couch, and going "Whew! Do you know how LONG it took to find you? I mean, I've been knocking on doors for years!"

...no dating until I get to know the guy first and become friends with him - then pray about it and if it's God's will then to start going on dates...

This is exactly how I think it should be done!
 
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DominiLady

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You word has truly been God-sent. Like many others I too have been pressured by those around me to find a good man to marry. All of my cousins are married and have a child. The only ones left in my family are my sister and me. However, after I read 'The Godly Woman; Becoming Ester.' I had decided that I would date no more.
I must say that your piece has been the reminder that I needed. It is such a pleasure to know that we have a God who's love is everlasting. As we all know, when God gives you something, He gives you the Best. This is also why abstinence is so important. I understand that we are living in the 21st century and many women would prefer not to sit around and wait but I will wait.
In the Bible we have never read stories of men and women dating around to find the best catch. There was no such thing as 'testing the waters.' God was the to one to let them know whom they are to marry.
Many of my friends think that I am crazy because I'm only 23 and I'm waiting for marriage. I on the other hand have learned that people will always talk about the things that you do, the only opinion that matters to me is the one that God has of me.

Thank you for sharing, this truly has been a God-sent message.
God Bless You!
May God continue to bless you abundantly.
 
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yam

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THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!

Seriously, this has been something that I've been wanting to hear for so long. I'm constantly feeling pressured by my own mother to "find a nice guy and marry him and blah blah blah". She's always telling me that she prays that I'll find a husband and that God would send him to me and all that jazz. And while I know she means well, it puts a LOT of pressure on me. I feel like somewhat of a "failure" because I'm 22 and single.

I've never had anyone put this perspective on things. You've really enlightened me in this area of my life, and the next time this topic comes up between my mom and I, I hope that I can remember some of the points you brought up and maybe we'll come to an understanding.
you are so welcome. Glad this was able to help you. someone shared this wth me ,so I wanted to shared it with other single ladies.
 
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Tamara224

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I hate any form of advice that advises people to stop seeking God or asking God for their heart's desire.

The person who wrote that in the OP thinks she has it all figured out and if we all just follow her formula we'll all be successful. In the meantime - stop asking God about it!?!?


No thanks.


Also this stuff:

Because ladies, I'd like to present to you the idea that its time to stop praying for your husband to appear, but instead, its time to pray and thank God for your marriages, and pray for yourself as a wife. Faith is an interesting thing, I tell you.

***

I encourage you to change your prayers. Stop praying for a husband.
If you're a wife, that means you've already got one. Just sit pretty and wait for him to find you.

Reminds me of Word-Faith teaching that I vehemently disagree with.

I do not already have a husband. I sleep alone in my own bed every night. I'm not going to pretend like I already have something that in reality I don't already have. I don't even know for certain that I ever will have that thing in the future.

Believing that God has already given me something when He hasn't really isn't faith, it's presumption.

So, thanks for the attempted encouragement. But I find my time spent pouring out my heart and talking to God about my desires to be much more encouraging. And I would encourage everyone to keep asking God for what your heart desires.

 
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Apollo Celestio

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I agree with some and disagree with some...let's see now...

"The second type is what is referred to in Proverbs 31 as the virtuous woman.This is a woman who was created to be a wife. God has instilled within her the desire to be married, to be submitted, to be loved and cared for and to reverence her husband, to care for the people in her life and children if they are her heart's desire, to be a servant to the people who she loves because she's confident in the love she has for herself."

Uh...okay...to say that if a woman doesn't desire children, or doesn't desire to "be a servant to the people who she loves"...that she isn't or shouldn't be wife material? I'm sorry, where does the Bible say that wives are servants to everyone around them? What about missionary couples who choose to be childless so they can do the Lord's work?

"Adam was already in position and he had already gotten the vision from God."

Adam got a vision from God about his forthcoming wife? Where? Scripture reference, please?

"If you're a wife, that means you've already got one. Just sit pretty and wait for him to find you.
And when the time is right, he will find you.
"

I sort of agree with this...I agree that the man should do the pursuing, the initiating, but I don't think that all women, especially in our current culture, should just sit in their houses knitting mittens and expect some guy to knock on the door and go "Hi, I'm your husband!"

"I guarantee you that if you stop looking you'll get found."

I think that is a terrible promise to make to ALL WOMEN. Some women are not going to "get found". Plenty of wonderful Christian women have stopped looking, and are still single. Statements like this make me really irritated. It also suggests that, if you're a single woman, you're somehow to blame because you're not playing this cosmic game by the rules the OP has decided are the right rules.

While I disagree with the general premise of the OP, I do agree with some things:

"Waiting does not consist of dating."

Absolutely, 10000% agree. I don't think "dating" in the modern sense is anything God ever intended for people to do.

"Get all the knuckleheads and fools out of your life. They're taking up valuable space and making it harder for your husband to find you."

OH if only people would take this advice!! This one goes for women AND men alike. Quit settling for less than God's best for you because you're lonely!! So many problems and so much pain could be avoided by just learning to be single UNTIL God decides to move, whether that be a year or ten years.

If one wishes to be great, they must be a servant. It's not meant for the wife, but for all of us. We're servants/followers after all. I hate how people reduce life to marriage. And like you can't live life just because nobody will ever love you. -_-
 
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