Mrs. Prayer Meeting died recently at the First Neglected Church on Worldly Avenue. Born many years ago in the midst of great revivalism she was a strong, healthy child, fed largely on testimony and spiritual holiness, and soon growing into world wide prominence as one of the most influential members of the famous Church family.
For the past several years Sister Prayer Meeting had been in failing health, gradually wasting away until rendered helpless by stiffness of knees and coldness of heart, inactivity and weakness of purpose and will power. Her last whispered words were inquiries concerning markets of trade and places of worldly amusements. Her older brother, Class Meeting, has been dead for many years.
Experts, including Dr. Work and Dr. Joiner, disagreed as to the cause of her fatal illness, administering large does of organization, socials, contests, drives, and religious education, but to no avail. A post-mortem showed deficiency of spiritual food coupled with a lack of fasting, faith, heartfelt religion, shameless desertion, non-support as contributing causes of her death. Only a few were present at her last rites, sobbing over memories of her past beauty and power. Carefully selected pall-bearers were urged to bear her remains tenderly away, but failed to appear. There were no flowers. Her favorite hymns, "Amazing Grace" and "Rock of Ages", were not sung. Miss Irma Modern rendered "Beautiful Isle Of Somewhere", but none had any idea where this fancied isle might be. The body rests in the beautiful cemetery of Bygone Glories, a waiting the summons from above.
In honor of her going, the church doors will be closed on Wednesday nites, save on the third Wednesday of each month when the Ladies Pink Lemonade Society serves refreshment to the members of the Handball Team. Author Unknown