Thing's you shouldn't say...

[lucypevensie]

So was it you who taught my husband his terrible housekeeping skills?

To your teenager's driving instructor.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Brace yourself.

To your mortgage loan officer

 

[lucypevensie]

I swear I'll catch up my late payments. All I need to do is win the lottery first.

When someone tells you how adorable your kids are.

 

[americanvet]

I swear I'll catch up my late payments. All I need to do is win the lottery first.

When someone tells you how adorable your kids are.

At least their not as ugly as your spouse.

To your veterinarian.

 

[~Anastasia~]

We're glad you were willing to take him as a patient after being kicked out of the last five clinics for attacking people ...


To your first-grader's teacher on the first day of school

 

[lucypevensie]

Please don't ever correct him or tell him no. We don't want to make our little darling sad.

When the family starts asking what's for dinner.

 

[forest flower]

You! (follow up with a tickle fight)

Your parents while asking for money?

 

[SleepinGood]

You're gonna die soon anyway so why not?

Your kid's little league baseball coach

 

[isleof]

You're gonna die soon anyway so why not?

That isn't nice.

 

[forest flower]

That isn't nice.

That's the point.

Your kid's little league baseball coach

Aren't you a little fat for this?

To your piano instructor?

 

[lucypevensie]

I didn't have time to practice at all last week, so this lesson will basically be pointless, so I will be deducting this week's lesson from your invoice as I won't actually be learning anything new.

When your friend calls to cancel your lunch appointment because she is sick.

 

[moerunamida]

Made, I had the worst flu the last time we met!

When you at at thanksgiving dinner at the in laws

 

[lucypevensie]

I think after dinner here, I'll hop on over to my parents' house so I can eat a Thanksgiving dinner that actually tastes good.

To your daughter when she asks if you want to help her make cookies.

 

[moerunamida]

LOL ^^

Yes, because last time dad got food poisoning.

To your boss right before you quit.

 

[forest flower]

You do realize that you classify as bald, right?

To your electrician?

 

[If Not For Grace]

Are you AC/DC?


To a woman who has just announced she's pregnant?

 

[forest flower]

I didn't realize you were married.

To your spouse?

 

[Lioness901]

You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

To your child who just lost their first tooth?

 

[lucypevensie]

Tooth Fairy is no longer in business - sorry.

When your boss asks if you can work a little later today.

 

[Susie~Q]

No, I have a job interview as soon as I get off.

To a doctor right before a physical exam.