Thing's you shouldn't say...

[forest flower]

I checked your record; you've never been baptised.

To an abstract artist?

 

[lucypevensie]

You call that art? My dog can paint better than that.

To the mall cop.

 

[Scott4Him]

"Hey, you! Mr. Rent-a-Cop!"

To the dentist

 

[lucypevensie]

Brushing and flossing are both overrated.

To your mother-in-law's cousin's son's wife's daughter that you're meeting for the first time at a family reunion, and will probably never talk to again outside of a family reuinion.

 

[forest flower]

Lets meet up every Tuesday for lunch!

When arguing with a lawyer?

 

[lucypevensie]

I don't have to listen to you, all you care about is money, money, money!

When a police officer comes to your door.

 

[brinny]

git outta here a'fore i shoots ya'!!

to da pizza order taker on da phone

 

[dbakerman76]

I'd like a quart of fried rice

to the cashier at Wal-mart

 

[lucypevensie]

Is this really what you always dreamed of doing with your life - working at Walmart?

To your friend who wants to get together for coffee.

 

[forest flower]

You drink coffee!?! I hate you!!!

 

[forest flower]

To a self- conscious friend?

 

[brinny]

seeeeriously, you do realize that this whole room o' people are lookin' at ya', right?

to a clown

 

[lucypevensie]

I punch clowns in the face, just so you know.

To your kid who doesn't want to get out of bed.

 

[brinny]

where'd that spider go?

to Simon Cowell

 

[Lioness901]

where'd that spider go?

to Simon Cowell

Your ugly and your mother dresses you funny

To your spouse just before saying I do at the alter

 

[lucypevensie]

I'll say I do if you say it first AND you pay me $100.

To the worship leader after Sunday morning church service.

 

[Lioness901]

So your tone deaf eh?

To a child when they ask you if Santa is real

 

[lucypevensie]

Only dumb people believe in Santa. Make sure you tell all your little friends.

To your husband right before he leaves for work.

 

[forest flower]

You do realize it's your day off right. (When he is working.)

To Lucy here?

 

[moerunamida]

You haven't been here at CF long enough!

To your MIL?