Things You Should NOT Say on the First Date

dzheremi · May 13, 2020

shineyourlight said:
You asked, it shall be given.

Me, texting a friend: So I don't wanna jinx it, but this date's going pretty well...except she's dressed like a lumberjack and flopping around white people style like she's trying out to be in a community theater version of Hamilton. Dunno what to do with that.

Response: Well, as long as her name's not Keyleth or something stupid like that, and she doesn't think she's an elf...

Me:

Sophrosyne · May 13, 2020

shineyourlight said:
That's when I would just respond with, "Yeah, with yours."

See him run for the hills.

Hm, that's a hard decision.

yup..... the 18 wheelers do tenderize it better than cars but often they leave more of a hard rubber taste to it.

mojoboy31 · May 13, 2020

shineyourlight said:
Only AFTER you cough in their face.

hahaha, nah first you leave them wondering what in the world you mean, THEN you cough right in their face.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) · May 13, 2020

*points to leftovers on her plate

"Do you mind if I have that?"

mojoboy31 · May 13, 2020

"I'll have a hamburger, and the lady will have a salad. She's watching her figure..."

shineyourlight · May 13, 2020

Sophrosyne said:
yup..... the 18 wheelers do tenderize it better than cars but often they leave more of a hard rubber taste to it.

Right? You gave me a hard choice. I wouldn't know.

mojoboy31 said:
hahaha, nah first you leave them wondering what in the world you mean, THEN you cough right in their face.

Oh my, that's even better.

Let's stick with that plan.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said:
*points to leftovers on her plate

"Do you mind if I have that?"

No, no. You're doing it wrong.

You don't ask FIRST. You ask AS YOU ARE ALREADY TAKING HER LEFTOVERS OFF HER PLATE.

You ask when you do it, silly.

Radagast · May 13, 2020

shineyourlight said:
Skip the mustard and ketchup. I eat my road kill plain.

Here in Oz, we call it "road pizza."

Sophrosyne · May 13, 2020

Radagast said:
Here in Oz, we call it "road pizza."

Especially when it is run over by a steamroller

Radagast · May 13, 2020

Sophrosyne said:
Especially when it is run over by a steamroller

Or one of these:

Niels · May 13, 2020

What could possibly go wrong?

shineyourlight · May 14, 2020

Radagast said:
Here in Oz, we call it "road pizza."

Oooo, my favorite.

shineyourlight · May 14, 2020

So, like, what are we?

mojoboy31 · May 15, 2020

shineyourlight said:
So, like, what are we?

oh snap, that's a good one!

How about "let's talk about our future."?

Sketcher · May 15, 2020

So . . . Ziba in the Bible had fifteen sons.

shineyourlight · May 15, 2020

mojoboy31 said:
oh snap, that's a good one!

How about "let's talk about our future."?

Yes, and as soon as you say that, I'll grab the scrapbook which was hidden behind my chair, and it has pictures our faces on our "wedding day" (a face I grab from your Facebook and my Facebook) and pictures of our "children."

Sketcher said:
So . . . Ziba in the Bible had fifteen sons.

Oh my.

mojoboy31 · May 15, 2020

shineyourlight said:
Yes, and as soon as you say that, I'll grab the scrapbook which was hidden behind my chair, and it has pictures our faces on our "wedding day" (a face I grab from your Facebook and my Facebook) and pictures of our "children."

Oh my.

nothing says romantic first date like creepy scrapbooking that plots our lives together

keith99 · May 15, 2020

Radagast said:
"I've booked a table at a vegan restaurant. You don't mind, do you?"

Doesn't that depend a lot on which person on the date is vegan or close to it? Being a dedicated dead flesh carrion eater if I say that you can bet my date is at least vegetarian and I'm scoring major points. Of course I'd do teh legwork to make sure it is a good vegan restaurant,

shineyourlight · May 16, 2020

mojoboy31 said:
nothing says romantic first date like creepy scrapbooking that plots our lives together

I knew you'd understand.

<3 <3 <3

Second date, we're going wedding dress and tuxedo shopping.

Radagast · May 16, 2020

keith99 said:
Doesn't that depend a lot on which person on the date is vegan or close to it?

It's a first date. You don't know.

Radagast · May 16, 2020

shineyourlight said:
Second date, we're going wedding dress and tuxedo shopping.

OK, that one is just terrifying.

Things You Should NOT Say on the First Date

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