The need to be liked and accepted

StillGods said:

We were created to be in community.

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We are living stones in the temple of God. When Solomon built the temple the stones were already finished. There was no sound of hammer or chisel during the temple construction.

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, I am 26 years old and am very insecure within myself, and my happiness hinges on weather people like me or not, I was rejected and bullied extensively growing up and well into my adulthood.

I believe that a lot of my thought patterns are distorted or maladaptive. and im trying to work on that but its so much effort and it doesn't seem to work.

it also doesn't help that I don't even believe God loves me ...I know it in my head...but not my heart...and so I'm always seeking approval from others...reading self books on social anxiety, looking up articles on being more likeable, feeling happier temporarily until something happens that makes me think i'm not liked and then i sink into a severe depression for which im on medication and have therapy.

I wish I knew what the core of this issue is so I can work on it. I pray that God will give me the answers through this post.

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I don't know if this verse helps.
Psalm chapter 145 verse 9
The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.


And also the bible was meant to be studied, if you don't have many friends study the bible when you can, I study it 2 to 4 hours a day, I get a lot out of it, and God is always with you.

It sounds like maybe theirs demons in your life making you feel like that. I would examine my life and see if there is any open doors to sin. Sometimes if we have sin in our life it gives the devil a legal right to enter. the bible tells us leave no room to the devil. try to find out if theirs curses in your life maybe something was past down from your ancestors or generational curses from either your mother side or fathers side of the family. the bible tells us in Deuteronomy Theirs blesses and curses. If there was witchcraft God curses come upon the family line for generations.

Deuteronomy 5:9). God warns that He is “a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.”

It sounds unfair for God to punish children for the sins of their fathers. However, there is more to it than that. The effects of sin are naturally passed down from one generation to the next. When a father has a sinful lifestyle, his children are likely to practice the same sinful lifestyle. Implied in the warning of Exodus 20:5 is the fact that the children will choose to repeat the sins of their fathers. A Jewish Targum specifies that this passage refers to “ungodly fathers” and “rebellious children.” So, it is not unjust for God to punish sin to the third or fourth generation – those generations are committing the same sins their ancestors did.

I don't know if this is the case in your situation but I will see if that might be an issue and the way you deal with it; first break all the curses in your life, close all open door ways to sin, live holy and cast out any demon that might be attach to you in Jesus name. Problem solved.

Im not sure if this is the problem in your situation. im just guessing. I'm not a psychic and I don't plan to be one. Most of them are demon possessed. A lot of people do have generational curses in their lives. I thought ill share some knowledge.

Don't have fellowship with sinners, even ones who say they read the Bible

Now I could give advice and reasoning man to man also...but hopefully not to be apart from the Word and its plan&intentions
You could be in quite a spot that I wish I could give advice that I might have had
But then again as a man I barely know myself and what's around me as I go on instinctively, so of course telling you God's Word might apply else I'd have to translate my experience and advice to fit your specifics
Because you and I aren't the same person

Ben Collyer said:

Any idea what the core of the problem is? there must be a spiritual problem here

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I want to first start by saying it's very good that you are being honest about this. Most people will not be honest about these kinds of insecurities and instead bury them deep down. I have struggled with the same insecurities. I tried everything to fill this void in my heart. After going through Deliverance, I have recently learned that having a narcissistic father was very damaging to my soul starting as a young child. My soul is damaged badly from growing up in a dysfunctional family, but God is slowly delivering me from all that damage. It's a process. Let Holy Spirit revealed to you areas and what you are damaged. You have to be honest with yourself, and with God, or nothing is going to change and you won't heal. With prayer and fasting, ask God to take you back to Childhood and reveal to you where you are damaged. Consider looking up a Deliverance minister. It takes time, I'm almost in my 30s and have been pursuing God for 5 years now, and I feel like I'm just now scratching the surface of it all. The key is relationship with God.

I have read alot of replies in the posts.When Christians are struggling with isuses like rejection and acceptance,the list is endless and the most common reply is you must be in sin.
You do not have to be in sin for our adversary the devil and all his buddies to harass you,all you have to be is ignorant of him and his ways.Yes there is generational curses.yes you can get them in sin.There are to many ways he can be a pain in the ass.The devil likes to take atvantage of you when you are a young christain.He plays on your lack of knowledge.
Most Christians have not learned to dicern their though life.
1.Your thoughts. 2.God's thoughts.Yes God can speak to you in your thoughs.My sheep know my voice.3.The devil can put thoughts in your head.
I have heard christians say that God talks ony in His word.OH you mean that the devil spirit can do something that God can't do.Whatever God speaks will be in His nature as a loving God and you can find it in The Bible some where.
It is important to read the bible and believe what He said about you.Accept His Love,His acceptance and that you have been adopted as a son and your sins are washed by the blood.The devil will tell you the opposite. Till him to stick it in Jesus name.
Make{Accept His Love,His acceptance and that you have been adopted as a son}as one of your foundation and look nowhere else for it.
In time The Lord will put people around you that will Have God's love in their heart for you.
God's love what a wonderful thing.I remenber once a few years back that there was an elder in our church that I had trouble liking,the only person in my life I ever disliked.I asked the God to put His love in my heart for him,Well he did.

Bible verses

Romans 8-14 and 15

14. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. 15.For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
Galtians 4-6

To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons.
Ephesians 1-5and6

Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

Ben Collyer said:

Any idea what the core of the problem is? there must be a spiritual problem here

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I understand! Many people don't understand that kind of pain. Instead of encouraging you at CF, they'll try to tell you what you should change about yourself. Avoid(or ignore) negative, critical people. Think about things you love (a puppy or a sunrise?).

Philippians 4
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Stop finding fault with yourself! All of us are imperfect and want to do better. And you wouldn't believe how many things I can't do that others are capable of doing.

Praying for you and sending hugs!

Satan can lie and cause sin. God lets men have their thoughts and access to His Word for a reason
If all my thoughts were spiritual from the Bible apart from sin who and where would I be
And am I to hear a response from one of you writing "well my thoughts say........"
If those thoughts are from God's Word then so be it...if they're from elsewhere...who knows what origin and how

Of course people like their own bias and thoughts, sinful or not. A carnal man might dream of being a king or settling for a humble worldly home
Soothsaying sounds nice until it leads you to godless ends yet again, as if some will ever learn.

God's Word has a lot to say. Unfortunately many stay where they feel comfortable and familiar in flesh. They can't learn because they stay in that...or maybe in another context it's out of something. What I'm saying might not make sense to a reader

I must not be normal. I have the opposite problem, I don't care about if I am liked or accepted. If I place my faith in other humans to be liked or accepted, I'd just be setting myself up for disappointment. Humans are flawed. We aren't always liked or accepted, especially when tough times hit. Its why I stopped caring about these feelings. I only care about the fact I am liked and accepted by God.

Of course this doesn't mean I will be rude and whatnot to people. I am still friendly and caring. But if they choose not to like me, it doesn't bother me at all.

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, I am 26 years old and am very insecure within myself, and my happiness hinges on weather people like me or not, I was rejected and bullied extensively growing up and well into my adulthood.

I believe that a lot of my thought patterns are distorted or maladaptive. and im trying to work on that but its so much effort and it doesn't seem to work.

it also doesn't help that I don't even believe God loves me ...I know it in my head...but not my heart...and so I'm always seeking approval from others...reading self books on social anxiety, looking up articles on being more likeable, feeling happier temporarily until something happens that makes me think i'm not liked and then i sink into a severe depression for which im on medication and have therapy.

I wish I knew what the core of this issue is so I can work on it. I pray that God will give me the answers through this post.

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Hello, Ben. I used to be where you are.

I grew up in fear of every adult, I couldn't trust anyone let alone my own parents. My dad then hated me and my mom ignored all the verbal abuse. I desperately wanted to be able to trust people and have a sense of belonging and acceptance.

So yeah, I completely understand your feelings on every issue.

I was mad at God too, but I could never deny His existence. How could God love someone who's rejected by the world? Was my initial and constant thought. But I didn't know God. He certainly knew me, and I see now what I couldn't see then when He was shaping me. He was guiding me to Himself. He was and is my Father and mother. The only parent I'll ever need.

I, too, went on a search on how to live in this world, but in all the wrong places. I've looked at the books, TV shows, new age, gone through depression so severe I almost took my own life. I couldn't see a way of living in a world so demanding and cruel.

I tried talking to a school counselor once, and she was telling me it was my fault for feeling the way I was. That ended my trust with adults on every level. I even lost friends because I could no longer trust them either. However, this was actually done for my good. I didn't see then that I was being separated from the world for a reason. This is actually still happening to me today in some regards.

God was calling me to Himself.

It wasn't until August of 2014 that I made a HUGE turnaround. On the 14th I sat down and my life flashed before my eyes. I was reviewing my life and where I was going. I realized then that I was literally going in circles - and it all had the same end result. Then, I asked the very same question that Pilate asked:
John 18:38
"Pilate saith unto him, What is truth? And when he had said this, he went out again unto the Jews, and saith unto them, I find in him no fault at all."

I asked what His ways were and how to essentially walk with Him. My way wasn't working at all.
The very next day, God answered. It was like a switch. Suddenly all that I had read in the Bible growing up came with understanding, not just head knowledge. My heart was opened to recieve Him.

I can't tell you what your core issue is, but my life does reflect yours in some ways, so I can only tell you what my core issue was.

Myself.

I was the only one standing in His way while He already paved the way for me to Him! How amazing! I'm still amazed today what He has done, His foreknowledge that I would eventually go to Him... such grace!

Before I go, I also want you to know this verse:
Mark 9:23-24
Then Jesus said to him, “‘If You can’? Everything is possible to the one who believes.”
Immediately the father of the boy cried out, “I do believe! Help my unbelief.”

God did the same thing for my heart when I went to Him with all my brokeness and weakness.
I hope and pray this helps and encourages you on your journey.

Just a little footnote: my dad is now a Christian and I go to church with him. God is Good!

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, I am 26 years old and am very insecure within myself, and my happiness hinges on weather people like me or not, I was rejected and bullied extensively growing up and well into my adulthood.

I believe that a lot of my thought patterns are distorted or maladaptive. and im trying to work on that but its so much effort and it doesn't seem to work.

it also doesn't help that I don't even believe God loves me ...I know it in my head...but not my heart...and so I'm always seeking approval from others...reading self books on social anxiety, looking up articles on being more likeable, feeling happier temporarily until something happens that makes me think i'm not liked and then i sink into a severe depression for which im on medication and have therapy.

I wish I knew what the core of this issue is so I can work on it. I pray that God will give me the answers through this post.

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Start praying the Rosary. Everyday. Ask the Mother of Sorrows to guide you to the root cause so you can spear that out.

Keep living it gets better.

1. You must believe God created us in His own image.
2. Believe what God says about you..everyone else has an agenda. They must grow spiritually too.
3. Catch your depression before it starts. Don't allow yourself to dwell on the negative it will put you in depression. Stop and change your thought. Start recognizing those patterns. It does nothing to dwell on negative.
4. People change...stop concentrating on yourself and start loving others. What they do or do not do is their issue alone....Don't make their issues your problems.
Hope this Helps...
Peace to you!
P.S. Join a Sunday school class with your age group. Just participate and be consistent. Think the best about people...Believe and act as if they will like you......

Ben Collyer said:

it also doesn't help that I don't even believe God loves me ...I know it in my head...but not my heart....

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When I give serious thought about myself, even I don't like who I am, but I have been given goals to strive for. Part of that is dealing with failure. Best solution I have found so far is pick yourself off the ground, get up and keep going. Ecclesiastes 9:4

Are you sure that your belief that God doesn't love you, isn't you somehow projecting yourself into that picture? Jeremiah 17:9

NothingIsImpossible said:

I must not be normal. I have the opposite problem, I don't care about if I am liked or accepted. If I place my faith in other humans to be liked or accepted, I'd just be setting myself up for disappointment. Humans are flawed. We aren't always liked or accepted, especially when tough times hit. Its why I stopped caring about these feelings. I only care about the fact I am liked and accepted by God.

Of course this doesn't mean I will be rude and whatnot to people. I am still friendly and caring. But if they choose not to like me, it doesn't bother me at all.

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Check it out for yourself.
Spirit keeps all organic life alive, rocks, trees, flowers, fly, animals and man. Man is the only one who has a soul.
The soul cannot keep organic life alive, it's the higher intelligence of man.
The soul is liken to broken shards of glass within the body that looks out the eyes by day and at night sleeps behind the liver.
The soul is called the seed that is cast into the field.
The children are called the seeds that are scattered on the earth that fall on rocky ground and good soil and so forth.

Your soul is the most important part of your life here on earth and it's sleeping.
The ego in man is manifested from the psyche of the flesh and he steals the light of the soul that is called pure virginal Light.

The soul has no idea where it came from, where it is going or why it's here because it's in a deep sleep. It thinks it's spirit having a human experience.

The soul becomes the body of Christ and Christ is the good mind of our Father that renews us with Jesus by walking the way with him, self correcting in preparation to come before the True Father who is not a god at all but much more than called Immeasurable One, check his name out.

I know, strange but true and you know something is off so keep reading.

Christ our Lord has come from the True Father of Lights and is above all gods, knowing as a fact all gods have come from chaos.

This is the Father's plan, that men choose freely to come to know Jesus Christ as Lord and saviour, accept him and follow him straight to the Father, the children will know this is true; along the way the mind self corrects with the Holy Spirit and Christ & are no longer dealing with sin, remember? You're forgiven? So what is it then that accuses you and causes guilt and shame? It's your ego judging you because your soul knows the light and the ego condemns you for not being perfect in it, a crazy circle that is straightened out once you start walking with the Lord.

Your soul is sensitive to guilt and shame.

I'm cutting to the chase, you'll figure out the in-between by asking.

Organic flesh dies, the soul does not. In order for the soul to transform into a body within this organic flesh the mind has to be renewed a Christ and know and this only happens when the mind renews with Christ Jesus that is why he is the only way. He's the son leading us to the Father no one else can do this, enter into your mind which is called the holy of holies and speak to you calmly with openness and hear your cry and teach you clearly how to walk the way with Jesus.

I'm telling the truth, takes about 9 month and 100 days when you start to follow the simple instruction, stop praying to God who is on the right and let go of the mill stone called sin, God knows Jesus is the only way called LIFE and He is the LIGHT and TRUTH and Truth sets you free and Light shows you the way; cross over to Lord Jesus who is on the left and let him direct you to the Holy Spirit on the right and it's a gentle pendulum swing that glides your feet forward like you're walking on water. This all happens with the kingdom, the kingdom is within you.

I found the ego wanted a piece of the action, he told me "okay, so you know I'm here, I can help you, I can get you through" and I almost bought it until I was reminded that the ego only knows what he knows because of the soul and Jesus is with me if the soul is mine and I'm following Jesus communicating with him and have the power of the Holy Spirit, then I don't need the ego and he's lying, albeit I understand why, since he's come from me that is my flesh.

It was a naked feeling because now I knew for certain Jesus was hearing me and the ego was cast behind on purpose and I had the Holy Spirit on my right and God knew I was making the right choice and he let me go to walk with the Lord and I thanked him for his service as I walked and God let me walk with the Lord and I learned to self correct along the way with the power of the Holy Spirit and I came before the Father's presence. Not just me, this is for all and any who hear correctly.

I know the way because I walked it out and saw and many will become Christ's with Lord Jesus and know the Truth of what's going on here. As soon as the cup is received correctly, the second coming is for the body to transform and this can only be done with the first which is Christ your renewed mind that knows what's happening.

You can't get to the Father with God, it won't happen and God knows this, this is the Father's plan, you. have to choose Lord Jesus and God knows this is true, its for the mind to come out of this world before the organic dies, you choose correctly and you'll know the light travels straight.

Start communicating with Jesus within your mind and know Jesus on the left, he's the light in a dark place, not speaking to him out loud, within and quietly, you are on holy ground where the temple is within the kingdom. Think about it; Christ is on the right of the Father, when you come into the Father's presence you're facing him and that is on your left where Christ is.

It's proven that the left side of the mind is for the soul and the right is for the spirit. I can't tell you everything, you won't believe me, you have to ask Lord Jesus yourself.

All things are permissible to you yet not all things are beneficial, all things are permissible and you will not be brought under the power of any, so don't worry, when you walk with Jesus you won't get hung up on anything, that's the ego who does that. Instead, you're called a travelling fool, a wayfarer because you are walking it out, not flying high. You'll learn how to self correct your mistakes with Jesus and the Holy Spirit who is on your right, she has the power of the Christ to help lead you straight to the father.

I'm telling the Truth. I came before the Father and I saw a veil lift and a left hand catch a white stone with a name on it that appeared within my forehead, I thought something was wrong, like what just happened...

I didn't do anything wrong, I followed simple instruction from the Lord and I remember the way, that's what I'm telling you and why you? Because I saw you were on medication and that you were suffering within the mind and heart and I know you're male and your ego is strong also men have a wonderful way of thinking, mostly calm and strong and when they know its most powerful in a beautiful way, that's what love does and that's why when all minds become a Christ with Jesus we are all called sons, all minds are made a male-child and the ego who is the dragon has to go.

To be a Christ with Lord Jesus, you have to humble yourself and ask him to help you, it's like cleaning house, remember where he is on the left, and stand up and know him as he is, the stone rolls away and you'll walk with him, while you continue in this life.



If you understand this, you're doing well. We are the children of the Father and the souls sleeping within organic matter transform within through the Christ and only through Jesus Christ is the mind renewed and becomes a Christ and only then is he who is Christ able to go in search, we understand hidden manna, food for the soul that awakens her, she love him and he loves her.
She is His glory and He is Her Lord.

It's the truth. You only have this one life to remember, don't waist it circling, remember now and ask Lord Jesus to awaken you on purpose and keep asking him, you won't loose your mind, you'll be calm because there is a lot of self correcting to do, keep walking, no going back wards, remember the Holy Spirit is on your right and she has power and loves you. When you're tired plant a flag, take a rest, don't worry, you're allowed to ask for time out, everything is going to be okay. Your emotions are drugged up with medications and your body is probably unhealthy. Don't worry, this too shall pass, exercise and eat well, start slow, do everything with Jesus, he's your best friend that sticks closer than a brother. Take omega 3's and magnesium, do the research to keep your body and mind healthy through whole foods. M

Ben Collyer said:

Any idea what the core of the problem is? there must be a spiritual problem here

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Check out this read. "5 Reasons You Suck at Life and Why Its Ok." Basically answers your questions realistically and Biblically . 5 Reasons You Suck At Life and Why Its Ok

Dear Neogaia777. We all need to be liked, and God knows that. God is Love, and God Loves us. What do we do now? In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells us: The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy hearts, with all thy souls, and with all thy minds. The second is like it: love thy neighbour as thyself. In verse 40 we are told: On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. God wants our love, and we are told ( in the Bible) give up all selfish wishes and wants, and start Loving God, and loving thy neighbour. Neighbour is all we know and all we meet. God wants our love, always freely given.
The Bible tells us; give up all selfishness and start loving and caring. Love is very catching, and love will overcome all wrong wishes and wants. Jesus died that we might live, and now Jesus is waiting to lead us back to our Heavenly Father. In Matthew 7: 7-10; we are told: Ask and you shall receive. We ask God for Love and Compassion, then thank God and share all love and compassion, and joy and peace, with our neighbour. God will see our loving and caring, and God will BLESS us greatly. Let us remember God`s Love for us, and start loving and caring all around us. Jesus will lead us: Jesus is the WAY. I say this with love, Neogaia. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

Ben Collyer said:

Any idea what the core of the problem is? there must be a spiritual problem here

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Hello Ben,
I have been a born again Christian for over forty years and have struggled with self image and not feeling truly loved by God the Father as you have. I have struggled with chronic depression since I was a child and was an emotional cripple for a good part of my life.
I have looked for worldly help with this also as you have with no permanent success.
Sin was not the issue as I repeatedly put any failures and sins under the blood of Jesus and confessed them to him and as the scripture says that he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. The peace of God through Jesus Christ was also lacking at times in my life even though I constantly strived for it.
My biggest issue it seemed was my being able to relate to God the Father. My own Father was an abusive alcoholic and I was never emotionally connected to him, even though I was able to forgive him ( which is imperative to do for a Christian to have peace in their life) through Christ and prayed for his salvation.
The only thing that has completely changed things for me was having an intimate relationship with God the Father and truly feeling his deep abiding true love for me.
When i started praying to God as my "real Papa" who loved me so much that he gave his only begotten son for me even if I alone needed a savior...then and only then did I fell his companionate Papa's love flooding over me! It happens every time that I come as a little child and sit one his knee. It says in scripture that you need to come as a little child.
Well the name Father didn't cut it for me to get close to God's heart, to have that childlike relationship that I so desperately needed.
Ben I can only tell you that i have intimacy with God the Father that I have never had by realizing that he is more then a Father( my image of what a Father was)...he is my Papa that overwhelmingly loves me. I cry a lot in his presence now and have an overwhelming peace and sense of security that I have never had. For the first time I don't need approval from man as I feel accepted and complete in God! He has given me his love for mankind and my prayer life has changed for the better. I read my scriptures daily (imperative to stay strong) with a renewed ferver and greater understanding.
In the past I have read other's comments that we shouldn't call him daddy or Papa because it is not respectful and that had kept me from experiencing his intimate love. I would have loved to be able to call my earthly father daddy or Papa but i could not because he caused me such pain and those terms of endearment (daddy, Papa) always came from people I knew that had kind, gentle, loving fathers.
Ben please get close to "Papa" God's heart and experience his special love for you alone! You are his very special and unique child that he knew before the foundation of the world and created you special for his purpose to fulfill on this earth.
Lovingly,
Shelly and "Papa"

Ben Collyer said:

Any idea what the core of the problem is? there must be a spiritual problem here

Click to expand...

Ben Collyer said:

Any idea what the core of the problem is? there must be a spiritual problem here

Click to expand...

Have you always sought to be an attention seeker? Extrovert? Stand head and shoulders above everybody? Do these question hit home with you? Ta

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, I am 26 years old and am very insecure within myself, and my happiness hinges on weather people like me or not, I was rejected and bullied extensively growing up and well into my adulthood.

I believe that a lot of my thought patterns are distorted or maladaptive. and im trying to work on that but its so much effort and it doesn't seem to work.

it also doesn't help that I don't even believe God loves me ...I know it in my head...but not my heart...and so I'm always seeking approval from others...reading self books on social anxiety, looking up articles on being more likeable, feeling happier temporarily until something happens that makes me think i'm not liked and then i sink into a severe depression for which im on medication and have therapy.

I wish I knew what the core of this issue is so I can work on it. I pray that God will give me the answers through this post.

Click to expand...

Bring it all, and lay it down before Him.Then you will know how much He Loves you. It is as simple as that. Through your many post, this has been seen. Let go and let Him.