The Coffee Shop (7)

[katey]

Yeah it is majorly crazy, i hate it. i hate not having sleep for long periods its just adds to everything else. Its stupid though because the Crisis team know that its a sign things really arent going too well if im not sleeping for a good few days but my CPN is just silly and doesnt get that! I dont have a definate diagnosis of Bilpoal but theyr currently looking at it, they have tried diagnosing me with it before but some consultant decided thats not what i had. and in a way i dont care it will just be another label, but at the same time it may mean that they might be able to sort my meds out properly on that side of things, and would explain why meds arent working right now eurgh i dont know. this is the problem i have with my mental health team, one person says one thing and the other says something completly different but then nothing gets doen anyway!! AARRGHHH, i hate it.

As for my bestie, whose also my foster sister, in a way not being so close is sort of a good things, coz as much as i love her to bits and really want to see her it also lets me have a bit of a break. and i dont want her seeing me how i am when shes like that too. its bit complicated but hey. No shes got Borderline personality disorder (same as me) with bipolar symtpoms too. and she sufferes from hearing voices and selfharms.

The Princes trust is an organisation that gives Young people an opportunity to expereince various different things, they run loads of programmes its like giving young people a good start, or helping them get back on track. they have a website if you want to look at it. but the websites not that interesting lol. I did a team programme was good. I was doing my nurse training at uni.

I have to go but ill be back on in a bit and re write what i want to put.
sorry

 

[Soulwings]

That's good about the Princes Trust. I'm glad that you got in and managed to do some stuff that they offered. Sounds like a good program.

Bipolar can be hard to dx, but it would help your med choices if you did get that diagnosis. I know, just another label, and that sucks, but hey, if it helps you get better, then I figure it's worth it. I have loads of labels, lol, but I'm fighting anyway and getting better. (Well, I think I'm fighting, although Jarrod has commented on my lack of a fighting spirit, so... I'm not sure. Am I fighting? am I trying? I don't know!! ) The amount of labels doesn't matter... what does matter is if you are getting help. Are you in therapy right now? I forget, sorry...

That's cool that your bestie is your foster sister, keeps you even closer to each other, being related in a way. Wow, sounds like she's got her plate pretty full, too. Do you trigger each other? Just wondering, because being around someone else who SIs might trigger me some, not sure though, since it hasn't really happened much. I can't usually find people who SI, haha, usually it's all people with perfect, unmarred skin that I see. (Of course, they could be SI'ing where you can't see it, but usually I can tell if they're an SI'er type of person, I think... not sure though. Am I making any sense at all? heh )

...

Uni started for me yesterday... made it through the first day of classes. Oof. That was a struggle, heh, five classes in a row, no breaks. That sucked. But I made it!! I have tons of homework, so will go start all of that shortly. It's mostly reading, although I do have a reaction paper to write about my first Theories of Personality class, due tomorrow. Ugh. It's like... I hardly have anything to write about, yet I have to write it. At least it only has to be three to four paragraphs in length. I think I can handle that...

Today I have tutoring this afternoon... meeting up for lunch with my bestie before that. I could be on campus now but I opted to stay home, sleep in, and keep Daniel company, because he gets really lonely if he doesn't have someone home with him. T/Th are really bad for him because I'm gone for so long, have to leave early and Jarrod gets home before I do. But at least he has behaved himself so far... I hope he doesn't make any more messes!! Sixteenth September is coming up soon - the day he goes in for neutering and declawing. Fun!! haha. I know that I am looking forward to taking him in... going to miss him while he's gone but it's going to be good to get him fixed and declawed.

Sending hugs out to all of you!!

* Soulwing settles back in a squishy armchair with her chai-flavored coffee and reads some for uni...

* Arnold wants some treats!!!

 

[katey]

Katey slips back in to escape reality

hey April sorry i sorta disapeared so quickly with that last post went bit crazy

i was going to say about uni and stuff, i did start my nurse training and uni, id one college (although i didnt finish my last year so didnt sit my exams due to being in hospital on section) but it had taken me three attempts to get into uni because they kept saying n because of m mental health. it was so good actually starting, i knew practically id be able to handle it, the work and stuff. but mentally/emotionally i really couldnt i managed half the first year but then well yeah my MH got in the way and i couldnt keep going i was gutted but at same time i wasnt was all a bit weird really. i was only ment to be taking six months out but it ended up me leaving so not going back. as for the work stuff, id love to be able to work. i used to have a part time job before i really started struggling was about 15 so noone really knew about ne thing at that point and i hid it very well stayed ther for 2 years but then i had to leave, thats wen my MH really got bad. ive done voluntary work and still try to when im up to it but thats not very often at the minute.
THe Princes trust is fab id recomend it top anyone, lol u get so much out of even just small things.

Yeah the Bipolat stuff is hard, and i dont know its slight dajavu because theyve said it before then looked into it when first started being admited lots on the ward, and they said nope but now theyre doing it all again. i just hate it all. dont want any of it :'( sorry bit low at min n bit nhegative sorry. Therapy stuff, i dont know i was then we had a break then started again then told me i wasnt in place to cope with it, and now ment to be starting it up again, i just get so confused with it all.

No need to be sorry April, i forget half the time what im ment to be doing. And yes you are fighting although it may not seem like it to other you are doing.


As for bestie, yeahshe does have her plate full, but shes been 'well' for quite a bit, so its hard seeing her go back down again. she doesnt SI anywhere near as much as used to at all. it used to trigger me now and again, seeing her scars n stuff. but i dont know sort of got used to it, shes comfy with people seeing her arms where as im not as comfortable unless im at hers(and even then i hardly wear short sleeves) but thats pros coz still do it a lot and dont want her to see it.

You are making sense its ok, i know what you mean i used to be like thats id always see perfect skin on other people but i dont know im bit more drawn to other peoples arms now, and yeah i cans or of tell if theyre a Siing kind of person (thats sounded bad but wsnt sure how to put it) i dont kno i used to notice it with young people at the youth groups that i helped with, id notice soemthing and dont know just gets you thnking.


Glad that your first day back went ok, and hope todays ok for you too. it does sound like you had a busy day though.
aww hope daniel didnt mess too much, and the appointment goes ok for him.

Katey hides some treats for arnold to find*


anyone like a drink?

hugs to everyone, im going to gohide away for a bit been a mad day today,

 

[katey]

Katey sneaks in crawls under the blankets in the corner away from everyone and everything :'(


need to hide way dont feel to sfae so just going to sit here

 

[katey]

*Katey decided to have a clean up seen as shes going to be hiberanting here for a while

Anyone like a drink? Its freezing here so going to have a nice warm drink.


hope everyones ok x

 

[katey]

oops sorry i feel like am hoggin here.

Wheres everyone? hope your all doing ok, thinking of you all loads. theres loads of fresh coffee and treats if anyones about.

just been feeding all out little friends, the ducks where rather hungry.

Arnold ou found any of those treats yet??

everyone.

 

[Soulwings]

* Arnold has found the treats, yes, and he gives Katey a huge pandalicious hug-thank-you for them.

* Soulwings slips in and hides in a dark corner.

 

[katey]

April, Whats up hun?

your welcome Arnold

Katey gives April a huge hug, and lets here know shes here if wants to talk xx

 

[katey]

Sneaks in and hides under all the duvets*

safest place to be right now

 

[katey]

its gone quiet in here too, hope that thats a good sign.

think i will have a good cleanup need to keep occupied. .

everyone x

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Sorry I haven't been around! I've had assignments and limited internet. How are you doing Katey?

 

[katey]

steffi, hey no need to be sorry at all. was just hoping everyone was ok thats all.

im yeah trying not to be me at the minute not doing a fab job of it though. just got a lot going on

hope your ok, apart from being busy with assignments xxx

 

[bubblefish]

*peeks in*

Hello?

I know I'm in SI a bit and I don't really come over here to ED but is it ok if I come over and join the coffee shop sometimes? I like coffeee, and marshmallows..

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

steffi, hey no need to be sorry at all. was just hoping everyone was ok thats all.

im yeah trying not to be me at the minute not doing a fab job of it though. just got a lot going on

hope your ok, apart from being busy with assignments xxx

Yeah, I'm good. I've got most of my assignments out of the way now and am spending most of my time looking after the dogs or reading the Twilight series atm (my sister freaked when I told her I hadn't read them).

Are you taking time out for yourself at all too Katey? There's a lot more to fun and relaxing things than them simply being fun and relaxing (ie. they're good for health and sanity).

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

*peeks in*

Hello?

I know I'm in SI a bit and I don't really come over here to ED but is it ok if I come over and join the coffee shop sometimes? I like coffeee, and marshmallows..

Katie . Welcome to the coffee shop .

If I put the kettle on, would anyone like anything?

 

[katey]

Sneaks in and hides away under all the duvets and puts the music on to drown her thoughts




Hope eveyerones doing ok,

welcome to the coffee shop bubblefish your more than welcome anytime, come in look around. x

 

[bubblefish]

Thanks Katey.

Hope you are doing ok Hun

 

[Soulwings]

It's been awhile since I've been in here, sorry. Uni has been keeping me really busy and then when I do come on I don't always see if there's been an update here. Sorry, Katey, that you've been alone here so much.

How is everyone doing? Kate, Steffi, Katey, anyone else? s

Daniel just got back from the vet's last Friday; he's now neutered, has had his front paws declawed (and they look so tender!! ), and also got an umbilical hernia removed, so he has an incision on his tummy. But he's doing well, dosed up on two different meds, recuperating - this morning for the first time since we got him back, he greeted Jarrod at the door of the bedroom when Jarrod got up. He's so adorable...

The All-American Rejects, Taking Back Sunday, and Anberlin are all coming to my uni in November. I am debating on whether to go or not - it will be VERY crowded since those are very popular bands, and I would mostly be going to see Anberlin, since I really like them, and Jarrod probably wouldn't want to come and I would probably be out late since the concert starts at seven-thirty pm, but... once in a lifetime opportunity. Or something like that, anyway, haha. I still haven't talked to Jarrod about them, but the tickets go on sale for uni students (from my uni only) for $ten, for a limited time, before they go up to $twenty-five, so... what do you girls think?

I could use a nice mug of herbal tea, Steffi, thanks. I am a little anxious this morning...

s

 

[katey]

Hey April good to se you. hows uni going, apart from keeping you real busy? hope its going ok. and id say go for it, if you really want to see them. see if anyone from your classes are going, then youll not be there on your own youll have a bit of friendly company.
Am Glad daniel's doing ok after the vets visit.

Katie your welcome. i'm yeah well am not great but plodding.


ane theres one mug of Herbal tea coming up April. hope it helps a little


Ive just popped in in between appointments got to head out again soon would rather stay in and hide but hey, ill definatly be admitted if i do that

 

[katey]

*Katey puts fresh coffe on and fresh treats out for Arnold, and then goes and hides under all the blankets by the fire, its chilly outside and need to hide.

hows evreryone doing? thinking of you all,

APirl, Becs, Katie, Sarah, Steffi, ladybug and anyone else