Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (5)

[katey]

Not doing so good at the moment am restricting what am eating
how are you ?

Sorry things arent going too well at the minute hun, im not sure what too advise you hun, just as am not in best place but know that am thinking of you hope things get a little easier for you.

Hi folks.
Thanks Katey.. yeah, I got through half term - couple of bad days, but not too bad
How are you doing, sweetie?

AA, I'm sorry it's hard at the moment. You are NOT disgusting, I'm sorry you feel that way. Thinking of you and hoping things get better very soon.

Hey sarah, i'm glad that you managed to get thorugh with it without really bad days hope you get some 'me time' this week.

AA, I know i said that i wasnt going to give you advice (and this isnt technically advice) but i'm agreeing with sarah, youre NOT disgusting thats the ED side of things talking hun, its hard to not listen to them, i know that but your not its just ED talking x


HMm me, well where do i start things have been a little bit all over, pretty much like a yoyo with a bit inbetween so not really like a yoyo :S sorry. well im going from being hysterical in tears n just really low, to being really really angry and wanting to scream n shout (but cant) then back to being huddled up in corner crying cant really explain where im at right now so not even going to attemtp it, it really will just be a ramble. im having few issues at minute with Ed (nothing new there then ) struggling without the tube, but dont want it back in either so yeah thats another weird messed up thing in my head, i collapsed yesterday and they put me back on bed rest Physically im a bit of a mess. i tried blaggin it with the lack of sleep excuse, which sort of worked because yeah ive not been sleeping at all (hence why put me on bed rest so i can rest) but yeah didnt stop them going of and checking everything, which is really not good because blood tests etc dont seem to like 'helping the hiding things cause' yes im being sarcastic, in other words doesnt matter how much i can pretend to be ok n stuff everything tends to show up when they start doing tests. should learn that by now eurgh i did go of a aramble there sorry just ignore me.

 

[Criada]

((((Katey))))
Not going to ignore you, I'm afraid, sweetie.
There's nothing wrong with feeling, you are going through a very tough time and you are allowed to respond emotionally.. you're human sweetie, and that's how we work. Thinking of you and praying for you

 

[katey]

((((Katey))))
Not going to ignore you, I'm afraid, sweetie.
There's nothing wrong with feeling, you are going through a very tough time and you are allowed to respond emotionally.. you're human sweetie, and that's how we work. Thinking of you and praying for you

thankyou hun someone else told me that today too (and happened before i read your post)

 

[katey]

hows everyone doing today???

Im not doing soo well spent most of yesterday in AnE after getting a little frustrated, ive broke my hand in two places and my little finger, those silly walls should really stop jumping out at me!!! so now i have a purple cast! Heads just a bit of a mess, really bad thoughts and voices etc, its all just getting too much for me and lack of sleep and exhaustion isnt helping at all. ED wise, well still going without the tube, so i suppose thats a good thing..........right????????? ive been trying to eat things, ok only little things but ive been trying at least. my body however doesnt seem to think i am, and has complicated things again im having bloods done every two days, i have to have a scan so they can see whats going on its just not working properly why does it have to be so complicated, for once can it just not be!!!!??!!!

 

[Criada]

(((((((((((Katey)))))))))))))
So sorry, sweetie
Praying for something good to happen for you.

 

[katey]

thankyou, just in bit of weird place

How you xx

 

[katey]

Hey, hows everyone doing?? been thinking of you all.

Havent really had much to post and not really been able to, im not fab but doing a little better than i was last time i posted (so bit positive) enjoying the sunshine. Ive had a bit of sleep aswel, theyve added extra medication (which i wasnt pleased about but hey) to see if can try sort my sleeping out, and theyre also changing my antipsychotics as the ones im on really arent doing anything so hopefull that wil help ease things a little.

Did you ever have a plaster cast on when you were at school n all your mates wanted to sign it lol, all the nurses n stuff keep wanting to lol. its getting full and only had i9t just under a week. Its mad.

anyway just wanted to come in and say hi. hope your all doing ok xx

 

[katey]

Hey hows everyone doing? xxx

 

[Criada]

Hi sweetie, how are things?

I'm ok... getting by and keeping the mask on

 

[katey]

Hey, im getting by too, things are bit rocky at the minute, got loads going on around me to dow tih upcoming september and its just really causing issues for me because people are trying to keep things from me apparently for my own wellbeing except its just making me worse. but hey. then ive been trying to fight this ED stuff which is so so so hard on top of everything else going on. but hey Masks always come in handy :S hmmmmm

masks can be good sometimes (sorry im being so hypocritical i know) but try not too get to attached to it, i know its hard but we sometimes need to let it dropw a little. xxxxxxx

 

[Criada]

It must be hard feeling that people aren't telling you all that's going on, sweetie.. I hope you can convince them that it's better to know than to imagine the worst.
Praying for you very much, sweetie

Yeah, I know masks can get too comfortable, but... it's so hard to be real when you know that it will lead to rejection or anger from others... easier to pretend.

 

[katey]

It just really annoying thats all and being passed from one place to another is really realy starting to annoy me!!!!! ggrrrrrr ive just been feeling really depressed past few days and just struggling with everything. my CPN tried telling probation that they needed to go through services rather than speak directly with me about the up coming release. which really isnt helpful at all. hopefully will be getting sorted.

it is easier to pretend i know that one. thinking of you xx

 

[katey]

Hey hope everyones ok, been thinking of you all xx

 

[jay2010]

Hey Katey! just wondering how you are keeping thinking of you. its not easy. big hugs x

 

[katey]

Hi, thanks Jay i'm erm yeah im alive so thats always a good start........ sorry. :s things have been a little bit rough this past week or so been really quite low and as for the eatin stuff that all blew up the other day i just flipped, couldnt handle any of it. ive clamed down though and talked it through and hopefully getting back onto track with it. Its not easy at all. but thankyou for asking how am.

hope everyones ok. its gone a little bit quite thinking of you all.

 

[jay2010]

hugs i am sorry ur gettin it so rough, thinking of you. i am in the uk also and recovering, it is so not easy, but i am determined to get my life back i am not gonna let my whole life be wasted cos of all this. i am praying for you any baby step forward is better than no step, even receiving a kind word or a hug from someone is a step that might help you. x

 

[katey]

Hey, its gone really quiet in here, hope everyones doing ok.

Sorry ive not been around for a bit. been having bit of time out and trying to work on things all though not doing a great job of it, but hey least im trying...............right???????????????

i have a randome question to ask anyone, have you ever felt so alone and on your own with things that it starts making you really angry??????? if so how did you sort of manage to deal with it or work at it??? ive been really struggling with feeling alone for a while but its starting to get to me a lot at the minute and im just getting really angry and not sure what to do because i cant seem to explain it very well when i try to talk abou it to staff!!!!!!!

hmm sorry, eurgh. anywho i have been thinking of you all hope your taking care of yourselves.

 

[Criada]

((((((Katey))))))
I haven't been around much, been camping and off line. Wasn't great... there's not much chance for any alone time in a tent, and I need that to process things or I get a bit unbalanced. The kids had a great time tho

Anger... yes, been there... started with being angry at other people for not understanding, then moved to anger with God for not sorting it out, and then anger with myself for not being able to cope.
Writing and drawing helped... tho it was more scribbling that drawing, just letting the anger out onto the paper...
And exercise, but I don't suppose you're allowed to do much of that!

Praying for you, sweetie

 

[Reaper_2]

Hi am Reaper and i have EDNOS at the moment i seem to be eating normally
i have in the past been starving myself i would go on pro anorexic forums
and id take diet pills
am now in recovery but am still finding it hard

 

[katey]

((((((Katey))))))
I haven't been around much, been camping and off line. Wasn't great... there's not much chance for any alone time in a tent, and I need that to process things or I get a bit unbalanced. The kids had a great time tho

Anger... yes, been there... started with being angry at other people for not understanding, then moved to anger with God for not sorting it out, and then anger with myself for not being able to cope.
Writing and drawing helped... tho it was more scribbling that drawing, just letting the anger out onto the paper...
And exercise, but I don't suppose you're allowed to do much of that!

Praying for you, sweetie

Hey, hope youve had chance to have some you time since being back, im glad the kids had a good time though hun. Yeah the anger thing, i can normally handle it. Its just at the minute, its weird im struggling so much with it. Ive been trying to write and make some sense of it all in my head, and tried using art therapy when ive been allowed (although ive been on bedrest for a while) hmm yeah excercise, i sort of started doing a bit too much of it, so got into trouble, but yeah it norm,ally is a good thing. i guess its just something ive got to add to my list of things to work on??!!!???!! im just sick of how things keep going at the minute. and the timings really not great!!! but hey!!!!!

Hope your doing ok xxx

Hi am Reaper and i have EDNOS at the moment i seem to be eating normally
i have in the past been starving myself i would go on pro anorexic forums
and id take diet pills
am now in recovery but am still finding it hard

Hey reaper, welcome to here. things have been a bit quiet around here, but welcome. Recovery is so so hard, but well done for getting this far and hope things carry on improving for you, feel free to vent here weve all done it loads (mainly me recently ) if can be of any help at all.

take care.x


Well me, im still plodding, but going extremely slowly and erm really not getting n e where at all!!!!! i need time to slow down too its not good.