Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (5)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I'm not doing well, I've not been eating much if at all again.

 

[PKgirl87]

I'm not doing well, I've not been eating much if at all again.

- whats been going on lately?

I'm not doing well either. I restrict & binge... lately, its constant binging & hating myself more with every bite. Trying to pick myself up, but its hard.

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Well I'm dealing with some really tough stuff in therapy, I think it's the root of my eating and cutting. Part of the reason I hate myself...I'm not sure...it's just really tough right now and I'm stressed and when I get so stressed I stop eating.

 

[PKgirl87]

oh, youre in THAT stage of therapy... most beneficial in the long run but makes you wana hide in a hole til its over. sorry its so hard right now. but i hope you find the strength to stick to it and give it all you've got. take it from me, i was in therapy two yrs ago but i manipulated the system to avoid the core issues. i was SO wrapped up in ED so i wouldnt have to deal with it. i havent been in therapy for a long time and im still stuck with ED and miserable. now i want therapy but gotta wait to afford it. im trying, but its really really hard. so i beg you to endure it and maximize this opportunity cuz really, your future is on the line. it'll all be worth it and we'll be here to support ya and google nancy alcorns blog, it inspires me even in my darkest times.

 

[PKgirl87]

Its one PM and I already had three ED episodes. Not even surprised anymore. Just apathetic yet I can feel the intense self hatred that I'm trying to suppress. I just dont know how to let it out. I need help, like professional help. Hoping to start this week. I cant do this on my own. I'm so tired of ED and I dont know how to get out and cant even try anymore. Sorry this is so negative, but its how i feel right now.

 

[Criada]

Its one PM and I already had three ED episodes. Not even surprised anymore. Just apathetic yet I can feel the intense self hatred that I'm trying to suppress. I just dont know how to let it out. I need help, like professional help. Hoping to start this week. I cant do this on my own. I'm so tired of ED and I dont know how to get out and cant even try anymore. Sorry this is so negative, but its how i feel right now.

I'm sorry, sweetie, it sounds like a very tough time. ((((((((hug)))))))
I hope that you can get some help soon, sweetie, and that it makes a real difference.
You can get past it sweetie, don't give up

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I am enduring the therapy right now, it's just very hard. I'm glad I'm getting help with this now. PKgirl, keep on fighting, keep on trying sweetie, it's worth the fight. I really hope that you are able to get some help soon, it's hard to do it on our own, but keep your chin up because God is with you, and I am here cheering you on! (((hugs)))

 

[PKgirl87]

thank you both for the support, this thread is so helpful as i am in 90% isolation right now. good luck to you too

 

[katey]

Stayingstrong and PKgirl sorry to hear your both struggling. thinking of you both. wish could help with some advice but im not in the best place to be giving advice at the minute just try take care of yourselves xx

Hey bec, how you doing? you feeling any better

Sarah how you? xx



Just wanted to come say hi not been around fr a bit(again, am sorry) had a rough couple of days got some bad news the other week and tipped me back over that edge that id just managed to climb back to. ended up having NG tube put in again and just went so low, i pretty much gave up. but im picked up a bit now tubes out and im trying to keep hanging on.

thinking of you all xxxx

 

[Criada]

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry you had a set back
Do keep hanging on... I hope it gets to the point very soon where you feel you can do more than just hang on. You have a wonderful life ahead of you once you get around this corner The dark times will end, sweetie.
Love you
xxx

 

[katey]

thankyou sarah x im trying so hard. I want to get to that place. i didnt and yeah i admit sometimes i dont but right now i do. i just keep trying to hold onto the good days that ive had (ok now many but ive had them) and im slowly starting to trust some of the staff ( which seems to have taken me ages!!!) i think that was a major brick wall for me. but ive found a couple that i can talk to (and luckily they work different shifts) and that seems to help because im not keeping it in to myself all the stuf im feeling and all the crazy thoughts and stuff going through my head.



how you doing ?? xx

 

[Criada]

I'm glad you've found people you can trust, that really makes a difference! Hope it continues to get better, sweetie, and the good days start to outnumber the bad..

I'm ok.. therapist has dumped me and doc has been on holiday, so I've been struggling with finding anyone to talk to... and still seem to be losing my mind. But I'm seeing the doc on Wednesday, so hopefully can find out what's going on.

Look after yourself, sweetie

 

[katey]

yeah trust is a huge thing for me and it takes me ages. i guess i just saw them as the enemy. im not saying im all of a sudden im doing ok and have started working with them all the time just find it a little bit easier to talk to them and accept the help a little bit. i think they knew i had that issue to but just wanted me to work on it. ahh i'm just rambling now so will shush.


i'm sorry to hear about the issue with therapist hun. what happened? its not a nice feeling when that happens, and its not good when it gets timed with doc being away too that can make things worse. i hope your able to find someone to talk to who is helpful. maybe the doc can help with that when you see them on wednesday. *hugs* thinking of you loads sweetie xxxxx

 

[katey]

todays not such a good day, really finding things hard today. im an emotional train wreck! just all over the place constantly crying then screaming about nothing, im snappying at everyone and i dont like it Ed wise today well yeah thats just as bad. i was doing ok managing but today nope Ed heads well and truly roaring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH



sorry just needed to let that out. thinking of you all tons xxxxx how you all doing? x

 

[Criada]

((((((((((((katey)))))))))))))

Hold on while I put my ear plugs in!!
I'm sorry it's a bad day, sweetie. Don't let it get to you too much.. tomorrow will be better, k?
And come here and scream and snap as much as you like... letting it out is good.


I'm ok, saw the psych today, which was hard... he's trying to find me a new therapist, and referring me to a neurologist as well. I'm sick of doctors!!

Keep going, sweetie, it's a bump in the road, and you will be past it very soon.

 

[katey]

(((((((((((((((((((((craida))))))))))))))) thankyou. todays a little better than yesterday was, well so far anyway. just feeling really emotional today

I bet you sick of doctors, hope they manage to get you seen quickly. have they said how long a new therapist wil be? thinking of you xxxx

 

[katey]

hows everyone today? I'm on bedrest today so get full use of my laptop so making the most of it!!!! bit emotional again today

 

[Criada]

Glad you get to use the laptop.. must make things a bit less boring.
Sorry you're not feeling so good though Try to find some fun games to play or something

I'm ok.. you're right, I'm getting sick of doctors! Haven't a clue how long it will be before they find a therapist who will take me on, and has space... I hope it's soon, tho!!

Take care of yourself, sweetie

 

[katey]

yeah, they still technically monitor what go on, but its pok just sat playing random games and writing some stuff up ive wrote. and finding sum pictures to put up. Its ok just gives me soemthing to do that takes mind of things a little. (well thats what its ment to do) Sort of getting used to feeling like an emotional rollercoasters thats constantly on the go, its really tiring though. think i got a bit annoyed earlier because hate being stuck on bedrest and group were going outside for bit of excercise and tried going but got caught just wanna get out.


Yeah i hope they find one soon, i know there can be a bit of a wait but really do hope its not too long hun xx

 

[RuthD]

I'm happy you have some constructive things to do. I find those kind of things help me take my mind off of whatever I may be going through. I wish you all the best. Take good care!