it is. especially when it feels like theres a amplifier in you mind that just happens to be able to turn itself up at random times. its just so loud and busy 
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Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (5)
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IreneAdler
more binah in her finger than in your whole body
never goes away in my case (internal dialogue)... but it's worse when it's bad and I tell myself horrible things. Maybe you should focus on that. Telling yourself the bad things are lies.
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sometimes i can, when im having a 'good day' but its just been really hard ive got so much going on. and being in this environemnt can be so triggering at times, its weird its supposed to help yet it ends to not. its like it just feeds my ED (pun not intended then sorry) and presses all my other buttons.
i wrote a list of like arguements for each 'bad thought' but i just got so frustrated with it i had to take it of my wall and i keep it in my journal now so its there when i need it.
i wrote a list of like arguements for each 'bad thought' but i just got so frustrated with it i had to take it of my wall and i keep it in my journal now so its there when i need it.
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IreneAdler
more binah in her finger than in your whole body
so, if even I wouldn't say it to someone else, and I tend to be uber blunt and oft mean on accident, then it must be something I shouldn't say to me
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suppose makes sense its just easier to say it than actually do it. especially when ouyour not really caring about yourself much etc.
today was a little bit better than yesterday. managed a bit more. yesterday there was bit too much going on in my head to deal with anything. had to speak to probation lady which just set me of on one about 'his' release!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bleurgh anyway ive calmed down a bit today and just tried focusing on other stuff.
hows everyone else doing?
today was a little bit better than yesterday. managed a bit more. yesterday there was bit too much going on in my head to deal with anything. had to speak to probation lady
which just set me of on one about 'his' release!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bleurgh anyway ive calmed down a bit today and just tried focusing on other stuff. hows everyone else doing?
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- Jul 2, 2006
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I feel so bad that I ate 3 dinners last night! I sure have a binge eating problem. I could use some prayers.
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- Aug 23, 2007
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hi guys it's been awhile. wondering what you guys are up to. I'm in the midst of a very bad binge eating phase. dad is really very upset with me for not being able to control my eating; and perhaps if I were him I would be too, but he fails to understand that I take forever to get the signal to stop eating. it's a heartbreaking situation. there's a lot of depression I am having, and I suspect it's situational for the most part, and I think that has caused me to gain a ton of weight, and now it is just at a complete standstill and has been for over a year. I keep hoping that by some miracle the weight goes down but in the meantime I am suffering very badly, especially from a parent who does want me to look healthier and thinner but at the same time is completely oblivious to the hell I go through when I can't stop eating my food.
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- Jul 2, 2006
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I sure relate to you. My family is the same. I probably wieigh 60 pounds more than my nieces. They are boney. Plus they always talk about overweight people but not in those words. I feel horrible around them when they talk that way. I can't say anything because they would all gang up on me verbally like they have before.
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- Aug 23, 2007
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I feel like whenever I'm told this, my appetite somehow goes up. I don't know why this happens. dad says I have to lose weight in order to get married (I'm at least 30 pounds overweight with zero figure because of that weight) and I keep thinking to myself, "I gain weight SO EASILY and SO MUCH sometimes. You think I can get married by being skinny but what if I gain it ALL again? I'm the kind of person who CAN and DOES."
if it weren't for my horrible appetite I don't think I'd be this heavy. I seriously don't get the signal to stop eating til I've eaten too much.
if it weren't for my horrible appetite I don't think I'd be this heavy. I seriously don't get the signal to stop eating til I've eaten too much.
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IreneAdler
more binah in her finger than in your whole body
parents can be so damaging with careless words (even if they mean well... they're still harmful)
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I have that too. When people or me get on my back for eating too much I eat more. After I lose weight I always gain it back. I feel awful about it. I had 4 breakfasts this morning.
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IreneAdler
more binah in her finger than in your whole body
I wish people could learn to lay off. Whether you eat too much or too little is none of their business. Like they're the food police. Is it not sufficient to just say I love you how are you doing with your stuff?
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- Jul 2, 2006
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Yes, and that is very comforting, thank you. Food police is right! Let them take care of their own stuff.
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IreneAdler
more binah in her finger than in your whole body
It's different when someone is so bad they're in that point of death (on either end) but if they're not then back of... kwim? blah. I hate being hovered over.
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I'm afraid to start eating today but I will eat. I have to learn how to have control over my eating because I don't.
I hope it's a good day for everyone here.
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