Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (2)

[MyaShane]

Hey all. Hope everyone is doing well today!

I haven’t checked in for a while. Life has been busy. I’m really trying to keep up with posting here because I have absolutely no one in my life who can understand what I’m going through here. How do you explain to someone that the plate you have in front of you may look like an appetizer to them, but it looks like Mt. Everest to you?? My husband, bless him, likes to treat me with my favorite candies and I end up hiding them in the cupboard so he won’t ask me about them when he sees I haven’t eaten them. I’m down to a weight I haven’t been in a really long time and instead of being concerned about it, I feel real excited and proud. It should scare me and it doesn’t, I’m not sure why. If I don’t get a hold of it again…

Hey April, I know I’m behind in this, but congrats on you finishing your meal plan, I know just how hard that is! Good for you!
I’m glad to hear so many of you are working with other people, accountability is so important. That’s what I need right now – some accountability!

 

[kathleenmary]

hey girls! how are you doing?
im alright today. might not be able to go to church if it starts to snow again, but well see. im not going to start to freak yet..

 

[kathleenmary]

Hey all. Hope everyone is doing well today!

I haven’t checked in for a while. Life has been busy. I’m really trying to keep up with posting here because I have absolutely no one in my life who can understand what I’m going through here. How do you explain to someone that the plate you have in front of you may look like an appetizer to them, but it looks like Mt. Everest to you?? My husband, bless him, likes to treat me with my favorite candies and I end up hiding them in the cupboard so he won’t ask me about them when he sees I haven’t eaten them. I’m down to a weight I haven’t been in a really long time and instead of being concerned about it, I feel real excited and proud. It should scare me and it doesn’t, I’m not sure why. If I don’t get a hold of it again…

Hey April, I know I’m behind in this, but congrats on you finishing your meal plan, I know just how hard that is! Good for you!
I’m glad to hear so many of you are working with other people, accountability is so important. That’s what I need right now – some accountability!

hey Mya,
that worries me that you dont have anyone to talk to. i think you should really look into counselling or telling someone in your church maybe? i think that would really help you. But, its just a suggestion. feel Good.

 

[MyaShane]

Thanks Kathleen.

It’s hard. I need someone else involved, but I don’t know how to go about it I guess. By myself it’s too easy to tell myself that I’m in control and that it’s all ok when it may not be. I’ve never worked with anyone on my ED before and I don’t know how I’d handle having someone monitoring what I eat and constantly checking in on me. How do you all handle it? I’m just not sure what to do.

 

[Soulwings]

Mya. I agree with Kath, I think it would be a good idea to get some help with it. It's scary, and it's hard, but it's really worth it in the end .... I see a counselor - which started because of my cutting, really - and a nutritionist - "left over" from my PHP treatment this summer. They both "keep me in line" ... well, okay, they don't, I lie ... they try to keep me in line. My nutritionist does body comps and I know that if I regress too much and am endangering myself, he has the right to put me in IP, or at least, back into their PHP. My counselor works some with the eating stuff, more cognitive stuff than behavioral, but she's also there to monitor the depression etc. And I know that she has the power to get me chucked back into the psych ward if I am a danger to myself. So you see, I'm stuck on both sides.

But back to the ED thing .... meal plans really help you .... because they are tailored to your needs and yours alone, and you know that what is on the meal plan is not too much food for your body. And they also rein you in if you ever feel like bingeing - especially if you have to keep a food log (and can't tell a lie... gahh, that's so annoying sometimes!! ) - because your nutritionist keeps track of all of that.

Anyway, I'm really tired, so that might not all be coherent... but what I'm trying to say is - help really does help. And it's worth it even though it's hard. You don't want to live forever battling this. Even if it feels like there is no other alternative - there is. You can recover. It just takes time.

 

[Daysoni]

Mary Ellen - mostly punching things. I've gotten soft tissue damage from doing that ... a year and a half ago ... and I keep hitting the same place, so I guess it's no wonder that it's not healed/healing. :o And then I bite too. :o But not as often ... but more severely .......

I should go get brekkie ready ... eggs again ... always eggs ...

I wish eating was easier for all of us, Daysoni!! But we'll get there... we'll get there. It just takes time. We can make it. And we WILL make it. We will overcome. Ooh, and what grade do you teach? That's so cool that you're a teacher And nice weather is always lovely... here is it snowing and 7'F. BRRR!!!

I'm a Preschool teacher andI'm looking at going back to school myself. Kind of funny at my age don't you think....

 

[beckybooiloveu]

i found a really good poem last night and was going to post it... but it wouldnt let me copy it... but i will try and post it tonight after uni...

 

[Soulwings]

I'm not doing well tonight.

I'm in an okay mood.
But I really want to SI.
And I know that I could get away with it.

Just the being in an okay mood part is scary.
I'm only partially mentally crashing.
This is weird.

And scary.

 

[Daysoni]

Hello Soulwings

 

[Daysoni]

I'm sorry to see that you are struggeling.
SI is something that I to battled in the past.
I haven't had to deal with this in awhile but I remember it like yesterday. I found ways to cope with out doing the cutting. I would post the 2 that worked well for me because they helped me alot. But even thought they were helpful and there was no harm done I wonder if they would be a trigger for others..

 

[beckybooiloveu]

*HUGE HUGS* april...
wats up hun...
think of the ok mood as being a good thing!

 

[oneandlonely]

*hugs for april*

Take care sis. and have fun on your trip ok? I love you sis.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

I'm a Preschool teacher andI'm looking at going back to school myself. Kind of funny at my age don't you think....

Not funny at all . You're only as old as you feel...but more to the point, you're never too old to learn!

 

[Daysoni]

Not funny at all . You're only as old as you feel...but more to the point, you're never too old to learn!

I suppose your right. I don't look my age you might be able to see that from my CF picture with my son. That is a year old and pretty much all that has changed is weight and my hair is longer.

 

[MyaShane]

Good morning everyone. Hope you are all well!!

Thanks much for the encouraging words and helpful advice! Knowing what I need to do and following through are 2 different things for me. I’m just struggling now with feeling that I’m overreacting – that it’s not as bad as all that. I don’t think I look bad now, but then there are times I catch a glimpse of myself and it’s like “yikes!” and just like that it’s gone. Has that ever happened to any of you? Wish I could see myself as others do – that would really help I think.

Hey Daysoni! You are definitely not too old! I decided to go back to college and pursue my dream of going into Nursing last summer (at 36!!). I was worried that I’d be the oldest person there, but that’s what college is all about – all different age groups. If I can do it, you can too, I work full time, am taking night classes, married and have 2 girls under 5 – whew! I say go for it!!

**Hey all! When I created my username, I used the first names of my 2 daughters Mya and Shane. My name is Kerin….sorry for any confusion, didn’t think of that when I registered.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Good morning everyone. Hope you are all well!!

Thanks much for the encouraging words and helpful advice! Knowing what I need to do and following through are 2 different things for me. I’m just struggling now with feeling that I’m overreacting – that it’s not as bad as all that. I don’t think I look bad now, but then there are times I catch a glimpse of myself and it’s like “yikes!” and just like that it’s gone. Has that ever happened to any of you? Wish I could see myself as others do – that would really help I think.

Hey Daysoni! You are definitely not too old! I decided to go back to college and pursue my dream of going into Nursing last summer (at 36!!). I was worried that I’d be the oldest person there, but that’s what college is all about – all different age groups. If I can do it, you can too, I work full time, am taking night classes, married and have 2 girls under 5 – whew! I say go for it!!

**Hey all! When I created my username, I used the first names of my 2 daughters Mya and Shane. My name is Kerin….sorry for any confusion, didn’t think of that when I registered.

Confusion is what we do best . But it's good to meet you Kerin .

 

[Daysoni]

Good morning everyone. Hope you are all well!!

Thanks much for the encouraging words and helpful advice! Knowing what I need to do and following through are 2 different things for me. I’m just struggling now with feeling that I’m overreacting – that it’s not as bad as all that. I don’t think I look bad now, but then there are times I catch a glimpse of myself and it’s like “yikes!” and just like that it’s gone. Has that ever happened to any of you? Wish I could see myself as others do – that would really help I think.

Hey Daysoni! You are definitely not too old! I decided to go back to college and pursue my dream of going into Nursing last summer (at 36!!). I was worried that I’d be the oldest person there, but that’s what college is all about – all different age groups. If I can do it, you can too, I work full time, am taking night classes, married and have 2 girls under 5 – whew! I say go for it!!

**Hey all! When I created my username, I used the first names of my 2 daughters Mya and Shane. My name is Kerin….sorry for any confusion, didn’t think of that when I registered.

I am a mother of one a 12 year old boy and teach preschool and am involved in church not to mention I baby sit for a couple of my preschool parents. I'm going to be taking some online courses to becaome a Vet Tech and when school starts back up I'm going to commute while my son is in school to become a phlebotimist. I believe God has openned these paths for me....

 

[beckybooiloveu]

wats a phlebotimist

 

[Daysoni]

wats a phlebotimist

The person that draws your blood and runs the tests on it when your at the doctor or hospital

 

[beckybooiloveu]

oh kool! thats awesome...
i love blood tests hehe