Suggestions/advice about relationship with a non beliver?

[kstorm]

Im 22. First boyfriend. We have been together for almost a year now ( 1 yr in feb) I love him, Hes everything i would want and expect from a man. Only issue is he is a non-beliver. I cant even get him to come to church for an 1 and half for a christmas eve service. Hed rather go fishing then attend a wedding with me for my side.

He says he willing to come if i want him to but, i dont want to FORCE him to do things with me. He should be willing to an extent.

And i know it says in the bible not to attached yourself to a non beliver..etc. I dont go to church often enough ( special times only really) Both him and I grew up going to sunday school. His grandmother is christian but his parents arnt ( at least his dad)


I would date a christian, but most chrisitan men i meet are 100% involed with the lord and doing missons which i great but i want someone here and now. To down the road marry,have kids with.

Has anyone married or dated a non beliver? He respects that im a christian and what my views are. On a daily basis my relgion isnt a huge issue.. the only issue i could ever for see if that if we got married and had kids, i want them to go to sunday school.

 

[NaturallyGone]

Okay, 23 and only ever had one girlfriend. She was, for lack of better terms, a non-believer. Only time we ever hung out was at church, and sometimes at her house (Admittedly behind closed doors). It was honestly weird, partially cause she had so much experience in dating and I had none. Still really have none. and you are correct, the Bible does tell us that we should not be "unequally yoked" with non-believers. And the issue you see is one of the main reasons why. You want your future kids to go to Sunday School. As you hinted at, a child's upbringing regarding religion tends to be one of the main differentiating issues. Truth be told, I don't see why a guy being completely sold out to the Lord is a bad thing though. Even Jesus was all about doing his Father's work. And also, you mention that you want to find a guy who you could see yourself marrying and having a family with. God calls us men to be the spiritual leaders in our families, and, truth be told, I honestly believe that there are enough men in the world today that are FAILING at that. This may seem weird, but I don't want to meet any future girlfriends/my future wife until I know that I am the Man of God that she deserves, and I don't want to be my future girlfriend/wife's first priority. As the Oswald Brothers Band puts it in one of their songs, I'm looking for a girl who's in love with Jesus, sold out to faith, looking for a girl who's already given her heart away. It may seem strange, but I don't plan on my wife being my first priority, and I don't want to be hers. God should not only be a part of every relationship, He should be the foundation and cornerstone that it is built upon. Anything else is akin to a castle on the sand.

 

[Tess]

I went out with an atheist for 3 1/2 years.
Overall it was a good relationship, and I didn't think that the religion thing was a big issue. Whenever it came up in conversation there would be a bit of awkwardness/tension, and occasionally we would have big arguments about it. He always claimed that he respected what I believed but in practice he belittled it. He said he wouldn't want any future children raised Christian, and I thought I could live with it because I loved him, and after such a long relationship I was attached.

Then in May God put it on my heart to end the relationship, and in August(!) I finally did. Like I say, at the time, I didn't think it was a big problem, just an occasional issue and if I'm being honest I think I thought that I could change his mind.

Looking back now I can see that it was never going to work in a marriage, our fundamental beliefs were too different and he would never change his mind. I'm not saying it was a bad relationship, but now that its over I feel such relief. I realise that I could never have put God first in a relationship like that.

Just my experience, hope this is helpful in some way?

 

[Born2live4ever]

I could definitely see this being a problem when and if you decide to settle down and have kids. If he's not open to bringing your faith into the family, you're going to have conflict. I'd recommend talking with him about that, and figuring out where you both stand on that issue.

Also, I should add, never stay in a relationship with somebody because you're hoping they'll change. It'll only hurt the both of you if you're hoping he'll convert to your faith somewhere along the road, and the same for him.

 

[Cearbhall]

On a daily basis my relgion isnt a huge issue.. the only issue i could ever for see if that if we got married and had kids, i want them to go to sunday school.

Be open with him about this. It's possible that he has no problem with this, but if he does, it's better to figure that out sooner rather than later.