Well, the Bible compares a husband and wife with Christ and the church. So let’s see how that relationship works.
First of all, they wouldn’t be together if they didn’t agree on important, fundamental beliefs and goals. This is the basis for any close relationship. The church hears what Christ says and they say “Amen, that’s right.”
Second, they love each other. Love for your partner means you care about their good and, secondarily, their immediate happiness. What is good for us doesn’t always make us happy, but it benefits us in the long run. Christ has done everything He can do for the good of the church. A loving husband will do everything he can do for the good of his wife.
But the church also realizes that when it needs guidance or a decision, it looks to Christ. Since Christ IS God, He has the revelation and the wisdom to show us what is right. It is the husband’s responsibility to stay close to God so that he also has the revelation and wisdom to know what is right for the family (because when a man and woman get married, they become a family).
Now, a Christian man doesn’t seek to have control over another person. Leadership is not a perk; it is a solemn responsibility. God holds us accountable for how we lead and influence others.
CS Lewis made a good point: when two people disagree on a decision, they are deadlocked... unless one is the head. And since a husband and wife are one, a being cannot be in disagreement with itself and still function. The head makes the decision that is best for the unit (not just for himself, but for the whole unit), the other recognizes that it is for the best, and the whole being follows that decision. It is this way for Christ and the church; it is this way for marriage.
On the other hand, if you do not recognize Christ as your authority, then... you are not a Christian. It follows, then, that if you don’t see your husband as your authority, then you cannot be a Christian wife. Which is fine; if you don’t believe, then just go on and live your life the way you want.
