I have been depressed really since my Father died 28 years ago. It really got bad when my mom died almost 3 yrs ago. I have attempted suicide 3 times since then. The first time wast 2 yrs ago as the anniversary of my mom's death neared. After that I started coping somewhat, however, I quit going out with friends or really doing anything for fun. I changed jobs almost a year ago, and soon after that started on my downhill slide. Things just kept getting worse and worse until March 9th, I took probably over 100 pills, antidepressants and antianxiety meds, but that only made my body ache, The on March 11, I took about 100 of my antidepressants. They made my chest hurt and my legs spasm uncontrollably, so I had to have my sister take me to the hospital. I slept for almost 2 days . After waking up, I felt guilty, not sure if it's because I had failed or becqause I failed, again. While in the hospital, ( I was on the same floor where I used to work) I had so many visitors that I felt almost happy because I thought nobody cared . I came home this past Thursday, and now, I am starting to feel alone again. I am afraid that everything will spiral out of control again.What can I do to stop this, ? I know my parents would be very disapponted with me if they were still alive, 
