struggling with lust and masturbation

[vlisco]

Hello vlisco,

Since the Bible says, "Live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh," you need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. You need to be elevated above that battle and soar on eagle's wings as the scriptures say.
I've battled this much in my own life, but the solution is very simple, be filled with the Spirit.
There is a fabulous teaching on YouTube by Pastor Mike Connell of New Zealand titled, "Pentacost Sunday, Fresh Filling of the Holy Spirit". It has practical advice. It's just full of good points and teaching, but very practical. Hang in there brother, God hasn't forgotten to give us help on this issue. Check it out man and be blessed!

Thanks..will check it out

 

[vlisco]

Thankyou

I have struggled with this myself, and am now 4 or so months clean of a sexual addiction - one that went further than masturbation. Still battling it somewhat.

Avoid this path, after going down it I can tell you it is one of ruin. Do whatever you can to avoid it, flee it like death itself. The end of it is guilt, guilt, and guilt- if not actual, disastrous effects on your life. I only overcame through prayer and the power of the Spirit.

First things first is prayer, with faith. Because even if you might not believe that God will cleanse you of every bit of the issue, you can rest assured that it is His will that you should at least not be in /this/ much difficulty.

Also, ask Him to show you where else you need to make changes in your life and exercise obedience. Obedience to God's directive for your life will ensure you don't face difficulties in asking Him for help and consequently receiving it.

Secondly, work actively on quitting masturbation. It is doable, and especially if you aren't overly addicted to it (or addicted at all) it can be changed a lot in around 90 days.

Pray your way through it, you must never give up when it comes to prayer. You won't have to wait for a long time either, if you tell God that you'll fix not only this, but also change whatever He wants you to change.

Thank you. ...advice looks quite helpful

 

[vlisco]

Praying for you brother, I have struggled with lust as well. Tell this woman to find Jesus, and to get back to you.
Keep your mind on the Lord, and hold your thoughts captive, as if watching a TV, don't get sucked into your thoughts, simply monitor them, and remove them when they are inappropriate, as if changing the channel.
A 27 year old virgin is already a miracle, that is the highest I've heard of for a guy. Sex will be disappointing, and you will only feel guilty afterwards, not to mention put your health at risk.

Call on the Lord to help you, not just once, not just twice, every hour, all day, when you find yourself lusting sit down, and watch a youtube preacher, or read the book.

Thankyou very much for your advice an d supportive prayers..God will surely bring deliverance

 

[vlisco]

Quite

Yes. Don't marry the first person you want to have sex with. Bad idea!

Interesting statement...please why is that?

 

[vlisco]

Hi, my name is christina. First off I would like to applaud you for sticking to your beliefs this long. Second is that I know exactly how you feel. Unfortunately I succumbed to my fleshy nature and slept with the jerk. All because of lust. I found this guy very attractive but I did not want to give in to my desires and sin against god. I kept telling him I didn't want to be that girl.. But he kept trying. He didn't respect my values. Why should he have? I wasn't respecting my values. I claimed I did not want to have sex, but I did it anyway. I gave into sin because my faith is weak. Because my relationship with god is not as developed as it should be. Like you I felt bad about blocking this guy. But he was a bad influence. I had to finally tell him I want nothing to do with him and focus on my relationship with god and furthering my faith.

Thanks very much for sharing your story too..
Once we give in to the temptations, all we are left with is guilt and shame..May God help us!

 

[vlisco]

What is your contention???? You touch, flirt with multiple girls, talk dirty on the phone and through text... yet you are too holy to have sex without marriage.

What if you do all of those other sins, but hold off from having sex with this girl you will be holy?

If you are going to go run off into lust, run all the way out there! If you are going to grow a backbone, find a wife, and lead a holy lust free life do that! But don't play in the middle!

God already gave you an answer to your lust problem - get married! You are going on 10 years now of being legally eligible to marry and you mean to tell me you haven't found one girl worth it...

What a ridiculous post! You don't need advice and prayers you need to grow up and make a decision!

You won't consider my struggle ridiculous if you've been in my shoes...thanks for ur suggestions anyway

 

[Beautyinsteadofashes]

Thanks very much for sharing your story too..
Once we give in to the temptations, all we are left with is guilt and shame..May God help us!

And He will! He is

 

[OpenYourBibles]

You won't consider my struggle ridiculous if you've been in my shoes...thanks for ur suggestions anyway

It is funny how you address that last statement about how ridiculous this entire post is, but not any of the parts any of the reason I presented for how ridiculous it is! Are you not admittedly engaged in all of these other vial behaviors: masturbation, flirting with multiple women, talking dirty on the phone and through text? So what is the big deal with having sex - don't try to push this off as a "trying to be holy" thing! We already see that is not the case. You won't have sex with these girls, which is to say you won't commit to a relationship beyond flirting and playing games with any of these girls for a much bigger reason. You like to play games with these girls, yet you don't want to provide anything that a husband should be providing - emotional and spiritual support as well as physical intimacy. If some man was playing with my daughters like that, I'd come head hunting! In 10 years in and/or around the church there has been a young lady worth marrying, and you won't pursue marriage, but you'll pursue the activities that go along with being married! You make a decision everytime you touch, you make a decision everytime you pick up the phone and talk dirty, you make a decision everytime you flirt around with girls you have no intention of marrying...

WHY NOT MAKE THE DECISION TO LIVE HOLY! Because as I stated before the only problem going on in this post, is a grown man who will not make a decision, and wants to whine about the consequences of his indecisiveness!

What is ridiculous is the power you give your struggle. Don't you think everyone has something to conqueror? Are you the only one with a so-called addiction! Are you better than the alcoholic, meth-head, compulsive liar, kleptomaniac?

Everyone had something - or somethings - that we had to put away with the help of God.

This entire post is ridiculous because you frame this a question of not wanting to have sex because that would be adulterous, but you've already crossed 5 different lines! Do you think you are holy just because you didn't cross the 6th one?

This entire post is ridiculous because rather than turning it over to God, you come on here as a grown man whining about it. Change or don't change, but you don't need any advice or prayer from this forum - as I stated before God has given you every answer you need already!

This entire post is ridiculous because you present this like it is some huge problem, when it is something just about every grown person has had to wrestle with - don't you think it is hard for a husband or wife when their spouse is gone for a week on a business trip, deployed, or otherwise unable to have sex. You think you have it bad, imagine getting some everyday and then suddenly stopping! But we don't turn to masturbation and lust - we turn to God!

This entire post is ridiculous because you and these females you are "flirting" with are already crossing lines, that are producing these feelings and desires - you are playing with fire and crying foul when you get burned!

This entire post is ridiculous because the bottom line is you are a grown man with a decision to make - so make it... or don't - but you have all the information you need to be successful in Christ, or to fail - again you don't need our prayers or advice - Jesus already gave you both!

So yes, I've been in your shoes, I've sat where you sat, and I still declare this post is ridiculous!

 

[cuja1]

Quite

Interesting statement...please why is that?

Because the next person he sets his eyes on could be a heroine addict or an ax-murderer, not that God doesn't love them too, but it's probably more baggage than he's looking to deal with.

 

[cuja1]

It is funny how you address that last statement about how ridiculous this entire post is, but not any of the parts any of the reason I presented for how ridiculous it is! Are you not admittedly engaged in all of these other vial behaviors: masturbation, flirting with multiple women, talking dirty on the phone and through text? So what is the big deal with having sex - don't try to push this off as a "trying to be holy" thing! We already see that is not the case. You won't have sex with these girls, which is to say you won't commit to a relationship beyond flirting and playing games with any of these girls for a much bigger reason. You like to play games with these girls, yet you don't want to provide anything that a husband should be providing - emotional and spiritual support as well as physical intimacy. If some man was playing with my daughters like that, I'd come head hunting! In 10 years in and/or around the church there has been a young lady worth marrying, and you won't pursue marriage, but you'll pursue the activities that go along with being married! You make a decision everytime you touch, you make a decision everytime you pick up the phone and talk dirty, you make a decision everytime you flirt around with girls you have no intention of marrying...

WHY NOT MAKE THE DECISION TO LIVE HOLY! Because as I stated before the only problem going on in this post, is a grown man who will not make a decision, and wants to whine about the consequences of his indecisiveness!

What is ridiculous is the power you give your struggle. Don't you think everyone has something to conqueror? Are you the only one with a so-called addiction! Are you better than the alcoholic, meth-head, compulsive liar, kleptomaniac?

Everyone had something - or somethings - that we had to put away with the help of God.

This entire post is ridiculous because you frame this a question of not wanting to have sex because that would be adulterous, but you've already crossed 5 different lines! Do you think you are holy just because you didn't cross the 6th one?

This entire post is ridiculous because rather than turning it over to God, you come on here as a grown man whining about it. Change or don't change, but you don't need any advice or prayer from this forum - as I stated before God has given you every answer you need already!

This entire post is ridiculous because you present this like it is some huge problem, when it is something just about every grown person has had to wrestle with - don't you think it is hard for a husband or wife when their spouse is gone for a week on a business trip, deployed, or otherwise unable to have sex. You think you have it bad, imagine getting some everyday and then suddenly stopping! But we don't turn to masturbation and lust - we turn to God!

This entire post is ridiculous because you and these females you are "flirting" with are already crossing lines, that are producing these feelings and desires - you are playing with fire and crying foul when you get burned!

This entire post is ridiculous because the bottom line is you are a grown man with a decision to make - so make it... or don't - but you have all the information you need to be successful in Christ, or to fail - again you don't need our prayers or advice - Jesus already gave you both!

So yes, I've been in your shoes, I've sat where you sat, and I still declare this post is ridiculous!

Deleted

 

[cuja1]

Quite

Interesting statement...please why is that?

I just realized you were the original poster.

 

[LoricaLady]

I am a 27 year old virgin. My curiosity has led me to unhealty habits as masturbation. I now flirt with a lot of girls.. (not that many, currently like 3). One of these girls now desperately wants to have sex with me..I kinda want too as well but it is not right and against my moral standards..this has been my struggle for over some months now..I act back and forth sometimes ignoring this girl who's desperate and even initiates flirty text messages ..I am really struggling to get raid of her..I tried blocking her but she found out and I felt bad..my thoughts are consumed with lust but my spirit is against the idea of having sex since am not married..
please help me..how do i go about this. I need practical advice and prayers ..please

I have prayed for you. As for the girl, try being more direct. Just tell her you don't want her to get the wrong impression, that you two are not going to be a couple and that you would prefer she not keep contacting you. Let her down with something nice said first, though nothing too personal.

You might want to read the book, or check out the website, on Every Man's Battle.

 

[vlisco]

It is funny how you address that last statement about how ridiculous this entire post is, but not any of the parts any of the reason I presented for how ridiculous it is! Are you not admittedly engaged in all of these other vial behaviors: masturbation, flirting with multiple women, talking dirty on the phone and through text? So what is the big deal with having sex - don't try to push this off as a "trying to be holy" thing! We already see that is not the case. You won't have sex with these girls, which is to say you won't commit to a relationship beyond flirting and playing games with any of these girls for a much bigger reason. You like to play games with these girls, yet you don't want to provide anything that a husband should be providing - emotional and spiritual support as well as physical intimacy. If some man was playing with my daughters like that, I'd come head hunting! In 10 years in and/or around the church there has been a young lady worth marrying, and you won't pursue marriage, but you'll pursue the activities that go along with being married! You make a decision everytime you touch, you make a decision everytime you pick up the phone and talk dirty, you make a decision everytime you flirt around with girls you have no intention of marrying...

WHY NOT MAKE THE DECISION TO LIVE HOLY! Because as I stated before the only problem going on in this post, is a grown man who will not make a decision, and wants to whine about the consequences of his indecisiveness!

What is ridiculous is the power you give your struggle. Don't you think everyone has something to conqueror? Are you the only one with a so-called addiction! Are you better than the alcoholic, meth-head, compulsive liar, kleptomaniac?

Everyone had something - or somethings - that we had to put away with the help of God.

This entire post is ridiculous because you frame this a question of not wanting to have sex because that would be adulterous, but you've already crossed 5 different lines! Do you think you are holy just because you didn't cross the 6th one?

This entire post is ridiculous because rather than turning it over to God, you come on here as a grown man whining about it. Change or don't change, but you don't need any advice or prayer from this forum - as I stated before God has given you every answer you need already!

This entire post is ridiculous because you present this like it is some huge problem, when it is something just about every grown person has had to wrestle with - don't you think it is hard for a husband or wife when their spouse is gone for a week on a business trip, deployed, or otherwise unable to have sex. You think you have it bad, imagine getting some everyday and then suddenly stopping! But we don't turn to masturbation and lust - we turn to God!

This entire post is ridiculous because you and these females you are "flirting" with are already crossing lines, that are producing these feelings and desires - you are playing with fire and crying foul when you get burned!

This entire post is ridiculous because the bottom line is you are a grown man with a decision to make - so make it... or don't - but you have all the information you need to be successful in Christ, or to fail - again you don't need our prayers or advice - Jesus already gave you both!

So yes, I've been in your shoes, I've sat where you sat, and I still declare this post is ridiculous!

I am not 'holy'...I never said I was.
I acknowledged my weakness which is sinful..I've have battled it my own ways and failed. That is why I shared my story with the Christian community.

"Romans 15:1 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves."
I think this is what we are here for; To encourage each other in the Lord. Each one has their own struggles so non is perfect...I have taken some good advice from many here who only saw a struggling young man seeking to walk out of sin and get back on his feet.
Your long essay on why you think my post is ridiculous only suggest one thing: you are perfect with no weakness..if this assumption is true, then I wish u goodluck with ur perfect 'holier than thou' life

 

[Follower3]

Really, it's amazing you made it to 27, you already have good self control, I think right now you are just feeling like you are missing out on something, but really you aren't, you don't just want to throw that away do you?. What you are really missing out on is that perfect relationship with the Lord. If you really must find a woman, find one who loves Jesus more than anything, and grow together. Or try to learn to be single:

1 Corinth 7:
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, [that as a practical matter] it is good if they remain [single and entirely devoted to the Lord] a]">[a]as I am. 9 But if they do not have [sufficient] self-control, they should marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1 Corinth 7:28.
But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

2 Corinth 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.


Thessalonians 5:16-18
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

If you are always rejoicing for what the Lord has given you, and give thanks, and if you are continuously praying, there will be no room for lust to enter, and you will be grateful for what you already have without feeling as if you are missing out on something. Just focus on your craft, whatever that may be ^-^
Good luck brother, will pray for you.

 

[Poppyseed78]

Quite

Interesting statement...please why is that?

Because sexual attraction alone isn't enough for a successful, Godly marriage. There are many people in the world you may find attractive, but there are much fewer who share your values, beliefs, and goals for the future.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Obviously pray. After that just TRUST me when I say don't give in. Sure it may feel great at the time, but right after you will feel guilt. And that guilt will be around for years and years and years to come. So many times I have wished I could go back and force myself not to give into the lustful/sexual desires I had. Like most people before hand I made excuses "Eh, I won't feel to bad afterwards!" or "I'll just pray the sin away and be fine!" or "I'll never give in anyways!".

Nope, sex is a MASSIVE thing to try and avoid. It only takes a second to start the process and before you blink its over and your broke inside, virginity loss forever. So pray and ask for forgiveness, strength and guidance.

 

[vlisco]

Obviously pray. After that just TRUST me when I say don't give in. Sure it may feel great at the time, but right after you will feel guilt. And that guilt will be around for years and years and years to come. So many times I have wished I could go back and force myself not to give into the lustful/sexual desires I had. Like most people before hand I made excuses "Eh, I won't feel to bad afterwards!" or "I'll just pray the sin away and be fine!" or "I'll never give in anyways!".

Nope, sex is a MASSIVE thing to try and avoid. It only takes a second to start the process and before you blink its over and your broke inside, virginity loss forever. So pray and ask for forgiveness, strength and guidance.

Thanks for ur advance..this is something to think through.