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Featured struggling with lust and masturbation

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by vlisco, May 17, 2017.

  1. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    United Kingdom
    I am a 27 year old virgin. My curiosity has led me to unhealty habits as masturbation. I now flirt with a lot of girls.. (not that many, currently like 3). One of these girls now desperately wants to have sex with me..I kinda want too as well but it is not right and against my moral standards..this has been my struggle for over some months now..I act back and forth sometimes ignoring this girl who's desperate and even initiates flirty text messages ..I am really struggling to get raid of her..I tried blocking her but she found out and I felt bad..my thoughts are consumed with lust but my spirit is against the idea of having sex since am not married..
    please help me..how do i go about this. I need practical advice and prayers ..please
    • Prayers Prayers x 3
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  2. frettr00

    frettr00 Finding peace where I am

    United States
    I used to struggle with this. I basically just went to confession whenever I fell to sexual sin. I also prayed the rosary with the intention of overcoming these sins. After many years I literally lost the desire overnight and I give God the credit for that. As long as the desire is there it's going to be a difficult thing to stop because you're basically fighting against your own body. I'll pray for you.
  3. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    United Kingdom
    Please pray for me...it's not been easy
  4. PollyJetix

    PollyJetix Well-Known Member

    Why aren't you pursuing the idea of getting married?

    1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

    1 Corinthians 7:7-9
    7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. (Unmarried)
    But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
    8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
    9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

    Obviously, if you are having a hard time of "containing" then it's not your "gift" to remain unmarried.
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  5. lastofall

    lastofall Active Member

    We must keep ourselves from uncleanness, which is the lust for the forbidden, or forbidden lusts: Lust is the eagerness to possess or consume. In this case the lusts of the flesh are provoked by the lusts of the eyes: we should make a covenant with our eyes as did Job, then shall the flame of lust diminish until it is extinguished; if we keep our covenant. But it is our own choosing to repent and own our sin, or else continue in willful and deliberate sin: but as it is written "sin shall not have dominion over you".
  6. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    United Kingdom
    Thanks for these bible verses..Actually my encounter with this particular lady is as a result of my openness to meet potential marriage partners...
    I don't see myself getting married to her but she's awakened soo much lust in me that am struggling with now...we talk dirty on phone..I warned her we have to stop but after some timeit started again...my spirit is weakened, I feel soo ashamed of myself
  7. dc87

    dc87 Member

    this has always been a curiousity mine. if sexual gratification is a need we are born with (like hunger).... then why does God hold it against us when we fulfill it. i find it ludicrous personally.
  8. Kit Sigmon

    Kit Sigmon Well-Known Member

    In Relationship
    Please, would you post a thread on that subject so we can discuss it with you without disrupting vlisco's who's seeking advice.
  9. frettr00

    frettr00 Finding peace where I am

    United States
    I wonder what God's intention is for me then because I used to struggle with lust and had an active sex drive, but that all went away when I was 31 and now I'm indifferent to sex and relationships.
  10. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    United Kingdom
    What did u do to make it go away
  11. PollyJetix

    PollyJetix Well-Known Member

    How about popping the question to her?
    There needn't be a long time, to wait to get married.
    What makes a good marriage is commitment and compatibility... and spark.
    It takes very little time to get married. No need to throw a big party.

    Just get a ring, get on one knee, and ... elope!
    If she wants a traditional wedding later, you can always do that.
    But tie the knot before sex. Always.

    And cut out the dirty talk with her.
    That's illegal, in God's book.
    Until you're married.
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  12. frettr00

    frettr00 Finding peace where I am

    United States
    I prayed for years for deliverence from it and it looks like God answered my prayers.
  13. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    United Kingdom
    Years seems like a long time for me..urgent deliverance is needed
  14. PollyJetix

    PollyJetix Well-Known Member

    God created marriage to resolve your problem of sexual need.
    However, repentance is the only resolution to uncontrolled lust.
    Flirting and dirty talk with girls... can you imagine Jesus doing that?
    It's filthy. Sensual. Devilish.
    If you can once see it for how wicked it is, in light of God's holiness... then, IF you value God's approval, you can repent.
    But repentance cannot happen, until you face it: you are sinning when you flirt with multiple girls, not sure which one you want to marry, if any of them.
    They don't belong to you.
    If you don't marry them, they will belong to another husband someday.
    And if then you would run into those girls.... wouldn't you feel rather weird, trying to lok them in the face, knowing they are remembering what you are remembering?
  15. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    United Kingdom
  16. FutureAndAHope

    FutureAndAHope Just me Supporter

    I guess really all that you can do is be dedicated to God. By that I mean, crucify your flesh, don't give into your desires no matter how strong they are. Be fully committed to God and his plan for you, which would be to find a marriage partner. If you are not having trouble getting girls interested in you, you should have no trouble marrying in future.

    The bible says "Pray that you enter not into temptation, for the Spirit is willing but the flesh weak" ... this shows us that through consistent prayer God's Spirit can strengthen us against the desires that wage in our flesh. This is two fold, prayer is a commitment to God, putting God first, and then God giving you strength.

    You must as the bible says "set your mind on [the right things] the things above, not just things on the earth". Your focus must be God, not passion.

    Also as a suggestion, if you do masturbate (it can be hard not to as a single man), don't focus your desires on the girl who wants sex, for it will just feeding that desire.
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  17. least

    least To God be the Glory!

    United States
    Fall on your face before God and pray for His Spirit to empower you for purity. Confess your weakness to God and admit you are powerless against your flesh. Admit that without his continued presence and power you done for.

    This is his will, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality. 1 Thess 4:1-8.

    Do not think that you can do this, but know that God can do this through you! And when you see the Lords success, be sure to give thanks!
  18. Solomons Porch

    Solomons Porch Solomon's Porch

    United States
    I will be praying for you.

    FIGHTING THE SPIRIT OF LUST - scripture reference to teaching

    Proverbs 7 New King James Version (NKJV)
    7 My son, keep my words,
    And treasure my commands within you.
    2 Keep my commands and live,
    And my law as the apple of your eye.
    3 Bind them on your fingers;
    Write them on the tablet of your heart.
    4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
    And call understanding your nearest kin,
    5 That they may keep you from the immoral woman,
    From the seductress who flatters with her words.
    The Crafty Harlot

    6 For at the window of my house
    I looked through my lattice,
    7 And saw among the simple,
    I perceived among the youths,
    A young man devoid of understanding,
    8 Passing along the street near her corner;
    And he took the path to her house
    9 In the twilight, in the evening,
    In the black and dark night.
    10 And there a woman met him,
    With the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart.
    11 She was loud and rebellious,
    Her feet would not stay at home.
    12 At times she was outside, at times in the open square,
    Lurking at every corner.
    13 So she caught him and kissed him;
    With an impudent face she said to him:
    14 “I have peace offerings with me;
    Today I have paid my vows.
    15 So I came out to meet you,
    Diligently to seek your face,
    And I have found you.
    16 I have spread my bed with tapestry,
    Colored coverings of Egyptian linen.
    17 I have perfumed my bed
    With myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
    18 Come, let us take our fill of love until morning;
    Let us delight ourselves with love.
    19 For my husband is not at home;
    He has gone on a long journey;
    20 He has taken a bag of money with him,
    And will come home on the appointed day.”
    21 With her enticing speech she caused him to yield,
    With her flattering lips she seduced him.
    22 Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter,
    Or as a fool to the correction of the stocks,[a]
    23 Till an arrow struck his liver.
    As a bird hastens to the snare,
    He did not know it would cost his life.
    24 Now therefore, listen to me, my children;
    Pay attention to the words of my mouth:
    25 Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways,
    Do not stray into her paths;
    26 For she has cast down many wounded,
    And all who were slain by her were strong men.
    27 Her house is the way to hell,
    Descending to the chambers of death.
    Luke 22:15 New King James Version (NKJV)
    15 Then He said to them, “With fervent desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer;
    Galatians 5:16 New King James Version (NKJV)
    Walking in the Spirit
    16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
    Romans 6:19 New King James Version (NKJV)
    19 I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness.
    Romans 8:5-6New King James Version (NKJV)
    5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
    Romans 13:14 New King James Version (NKJV)
    14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.
    Proverbs 6:23-32 New King James Version (NKJV)
    23 For the commandment is a lamp,
    And the law a light;
    Reproofs of instruction are the way of life,
    24 To keep you from the evil woman,
    From the flattering tongue of a seductress.
    25 Do not lust after her beauty in your heart,
    Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.
    26 For by means of a harlot
    A man is reduced to a crust of bread;
    And an adulteress[a] will prey upon his precious life.
    27 Can a man take fire to his bosom,
    And his clothes not be burned?
    28 Can one walk on hot coals,
    And his feet not be seared?
    29 So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
    Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.
    30 People do not despise a thief
    If he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving.
    31 Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold;
    He may have to give up all the substance of his house.
    32 Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;
    He who does so destroys his own soul.
    Proverbs 27:20 New King James Version (NKJV)
    20 Hell[a] and Destruction are never full;
    So the eyes of man are never satisfied.
    Habakkuk 2:5 New King James Version (NKJV)
    Woe to the Wicked
    5 “Indeed, because he transgresses by wine,
    He is a proud man,
    And he does not stay at home.
    Because he enlarges his desire as hell,[a]
    And he is like death, and cannot be satisfied,
    He gathers to himself all nations
    And heaps up for himself all peoples.
    Ezekiel 16:28 New King James Version (NKJV)
    28 You also played the harlot with the Assyrians, because you were insatiable; indeed you played the harlot with them and still were not satisfied.
    James 1:14-15 New King James Version (NKJV)
    14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
    Romans 8:12-13 New King James Version (NKJV)
    Sonship Through the Spirit
    12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
    2 Corinthians 10:3 New King James Version (NKJV)
    3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.
    Philippians 4:8 New King James Version (NKJV)
    Meditate on These Things
    8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
    1 Peter 2:11 New King James Version (NKJV)
    Living Before the World
    11 Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul,
  19. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    United Kingdom
    Thankyou...I've done this a couple of times. .still waiting for divine strength to overcome
  20. vlisco

    vlisco New Member

    United Kingdom
    Yes please pray for me