I lost my Mother to cancer in 2000. My Father left me when I was very young. My Mother was my whole world. She worked herself to death, to feed, clothed us, and to put a roof over our heads. When she passed, I was so devastated, I didn't know what to do. I cried for months. What really crushed my soul, was witnessing my siblings fighting over her estate, like animals. To the point that they don't talk to each other. I know for a fact if my Mother witness this, she would be livid.
I feel alone, even though I have a family. I love them with all my heart. But nothing can replace my Mother. Oh, how I wish I could see her face again. To hear voice again. To feel her warm hugs filled with love. Oh, I wish! I reminiscent a lot about the times I spent with my Mother. How she sacrificed for us, always putting herself last. I always looked up to her. She is my role model. She is my strength. I wanted to make her proud of me. So I promised her, that I would be the best Father I could be. Though it was tough because I am introverted, and have a tough time expressly my feelings. I don't why?
I miss her so much, that I want to scream, how live is so unfair. I want her back so bad. But I know that is not going to happen. My hope and drive is that one day I will see her again. And I can wait for that day. But until that day, I will make her proud of the Son she raised. I know I am going to fall and fail many times over. Put I am going to get up and fight, like she taught me.
God works in mystery ways, dear friend. I know you do not know what I mean. But God has saved my from my misery. By sending His ONLY Son to save us. People are cruel and mean; even Family members. We must pray and love them with all our heart. Hoping that they will hear & believe in God's word and His Son to came to save the ungodly from their sins. It will be very hard to deal with people who are cruel & mean. But remember they need our help to share with them God's Merciful Gospel. I hope dear friend that you understand my words, because I understand your pain, loneliness, inside, I do.
If you need help with medication, google centers around you that can help. I know Pharmacy's will give partial refills, when the Doctor is not available. Do not give up sister, do not give in, fight. Find something to hold on too! A picture of your step Dad, reminiscent about the good time you had with him and fight. Make him proud, and live your life with love, joy, hope, happiness. Tell you husband how you feel, and if He doesn't get it. Have your Pastor come over to talk to him.