Strategy Game

[exitstageright]

When I was maried,my wife and I went dancing at this Beach Front Disco called Valentino's in Mazatlan,Mexico. After a couple of songs,she told me,"Let's go!" I asked her ,"Why?'.She told me,"The music in here is too loud!" When we got out of the building,I said..."C...,you never had a problem with loud music,before." She told me,"I wanted to leave,because ALL of those women were looking at you."
Well,I was shocked to hear that,because I am no tall,"pretty boy"
ladies man.
When I lived in Hawaii,it took me seven weeks to get a phone number. The women there ignored me. When I finally got a girlfriend,I noticed while we were walking down the street, that women would smile at me. This annoyed my girlfiend to no end. THEN,I realized that women usually will not pay attention to a man UNLESS he is with another woman.
At this Christain Singles Dance that I go to,after I get a lady's number,she tells me that she is "too busy" to even go out on a coffee date with me. There are about five ladies there that I was interested in.Therefore,I am now contemplating working the Memorial Day Holiday next month,making double time,and using that extra money to hire a blonde escort for the upcomming dance in June. NOW,I wonder how many of those women will pay attention to me?
If these women are going to play games with me,then I am going to play a game of my own.
Now,I am curious to know what some people think of my stategy.
Would they think that I am "TOO NICE" then?

 

[dayhiker]

Exit, sounds like a great way to get some more data, to run an experiment by creating a new situation and test your observation.

I definately want to know how it goes.

 

[mjmcmillan]

I think it could blow up in your face. If it gets out that the woman you're with is a paid escort, you're finished in that Christian singles group.

 

[dayhiker]

Well, he's not having much luck there anyways! But the self righteous will have problems no doubt, your right there mj.

 

[blackribbon]

WHY would you want a woman that works and thinks that way? Yes, it is true in many cases, but I would walk away from a man that is looking for greener grass in someone else's yard. How would you ever be able to trust them?

We talked about having an opposite sex wingman...this mindset is partially why this works...but it needs to be someone you can honestly say is "just a friend" and also is looking out for your best interest...and can point out when her radar says a woman with all the wrong motives is hitting on you. (then you gotta trust her).

 

[blackribbon]

Women are not a game to be played. I take offense that you say you want a "real" woman but then treat dating us like some sort of sport. It is very insulting.

I am a smart woman...I am pleasant looking enough even if I carry a few extra pounds that I earned living life, not sitting on the couch being lazy...I smile and laugh a lot...I do not have extra money but that isn't not because I spend what I have unwisely or am too stupid to earn more...I don't measure a man by his looks or his wallet, but by his heart and his outlook on life. I would never compete for a man...he better recognize me for my own value and want me...and because this is the kind of relationship I enter into to, I don't suffer from jealousy issues. I absolutely don't play "games" when it comes to relationships. Life is too short to try to figure out what is true and what is a facade...I want to be around people who know who they are and are proud enough of what is inside to show it.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Yeah I agree with blackribbon. Are you serious? ALL women don't play games and maybe these women aren't playing games, maybe they are just being nice when they don't really like you or maybe they just want you to stop bothering them so they give you the number. I really don't know, but I thought you were a smart man, until this thread. If you seriously think this is what will work for you, you must have many more issues that you don't share here.
What you are in effect saying is that you would want a woman that would not care that you are "cheating" on your date? Is that right? Cuz that's what it is.
I still think you need a female wingman and I also think that when you ask for a phone number, you ask the woman if she really wants to see you again, or not. Just be honest...just say "look I've gotten phone numbers before from women that really have no intention of seeing me again, so are you giving me your number for the same reason or do you really want to see me again?" Or just ask for the coffee date right there and THEN get the number.
But if you want to keep getting "played" go with your statagy. Can't wait to hear how it didn't work.

 

[exitstageright]

Exit, sounds like a great way to get some more data, to run an experiment by creating a new situation and test your observation.

I definately want to know how it goes.

Thanks,I will kep you posted.

 

[exitstageright]

I think it could blow up in your face. If it gets out that the woman you're with is a paid escort, you're finished in that Christian singles group.

Well,how would anyone know? I surely am not going to tell anyone that she is a paid escort. If someone asks,I will just be like Sargent Schultz on "Hogan's Heroes". I'll say,NOTHING!
Anyway,would you agree that most suceessful people take risks?
In my case,in 1972,I joined the U.S. Navy by volunteering. My friends said that I could be sent into combat in Vietnam.Sure it was a risk that I could have been wounded and/or killed,but I wanted to join the Navy to learn a job skill.
Well,I did not go to Vietnam when I was in the Navy.The job skill that I learned,I am doing now. Today I am making 10 times the money that I made while I was in the Navy. You see,I became sucessful,but I had to take a risk,and it worked.

 

[mjmcmillan]

You've already said way too much. I doubt that it has occurred to you that everything posted here is readable by anybody with an Internet connection who happens to stumble across it, but it is. Can you be absolutely sure that nobody in your singles group reads CF? Even if they never sign on, they may still read it-- and now they know of your nefarious schemes and what you really think of them. The women who already make their presence known here have made it known that this is not one of the top ten best ideas you've ever had.

I don't know about your neck of the woods, but here in the Chicago area an escort goes for about $200 an hour. That's a lot of simoleons to be putting down on a scheme that has such a poor chance of success, in my never-to-be-humble opinion. I think you could come up with something that would give you a better ROI for that kind of expenditure.

 

[dayhiker]

Yes, one can always say there are better ways to spend ones money. But I have spent a lot of money to learn things in my life and still do to this day. So personally, I think money spent to understand a topic or an issue is money well spent.

 

[exitstageright]

You've already said way too much. I doubt that it has occurred to you that everything posted here is readable by anybody with an Internet connection who happens to stumble across it, but it is. Can you be absolutely sure that nobody in your singles group reads CF? Even if they never sign on, they may still read it-- and now they know of your nefarious schemes and what you really think of them. The women who already make their presence known here have made it known that this is not one of the top ten best ideas you've ever had.

I don't know about your neck of the woods, but here in the Chicago area an escort goes for about $200 an hour. That's a lot of simoleons to be putting down on a scheme that has such a poor chance of success, in my never-to-be-humble opinion. I think you could come up with something that would give you a better ROI for that kind of expenditure.

I live in California. Not bragging,but here are the facts. I get paid $45.00 per hour. By working a holiday, which I will volunteer to work,I will get paid double time,which comes out to $720.00 for one day's work! That is pre-tax,of course!

 

[exitstageright]

Women are not a game to be played. I take offense that you say you want a "real" woman but then treat dating us like some sort of sport. It is very insulting.

I am a smart woman...I am pleasant looking enough even if I carry a few extra pounds that I earned living life, not sitting on the couch being lazy...I smile and laugh a lot...I do not have extra money but that isn't not because I spend what I have unwisely or am too stupid to earn more...I don't measure a man by his looks or his wallet, but by his heart and his outlook on life. I would never compete for a man...he better recognize me for my own value and want me...and because this is the kind of relationship I enter into to, I don't suffer from jealousy issues. I absolutely don't play "games" when it comes to relationships. Life is too short to try to figure out what is true and what is a facade...I want to be around people who know who they are and are proud enough of what is inside to show it.

Blackribbon,WHY are you taking this so personally? You are not going to this dance. Yes,I believe that you ARE a decent christian woman. But here in California,christian women and non-christian women, play these mind games with good men.
One male friend of mine,a 45 year old virgin,told me about his theory.I believe that he is right. He said,"These women have a list(their minds),they have a check off. If a guy makes the list,they(women) will put the list in their box(their HEARTS). So in order for a guy to get into a woman's box,he must FIRST make the list."
These women started to MESS with my heart and my emotions by playing these mind games. We are all adults in our forties and fifhties.We KNOW how to handle rejection. If they are not interested in me,they can TELL me so,instead of playing these "I'm too busy games". I am busy,also. I have called and e-mailed these women and told them that we could look at our planning calendars to see which days we are free. Does that sound like a logical solution to us both being busy?

So,as Robert DeNiro said in the movie,"The Untouchables","If they MESS with me,.....I'm gonna MESS with them!"
P.S. The escort I will hire will be in her forties.If I hire a 20 year old escort,it would be too obvious that she was hired. She may fast dance with the other guys.But, the slow dances are for me only.

 

[blackribbon]

I have an issue where building relationships is ever "a game". I treat strangers at the grocery store with more respect than your circle of "christian" treat each other. Some one always get hurt when these kinds of games are played. You have told us how bad you have been hurt.

I'll step out of these conversations where you want advice on dating. I don't play these kind of games.

 

[exitstageright]

Yeah I agree with blackribbon. Are you serious? ALL women don't play games and maybe these women aren't playing games, maybe they are just being nice when they don't really like you or maybe they just want you to stop bothering them so they give you the number. I really don't know, but I thought you were a smart man, until this thread. If you seriously think this is what will work for you, you must have many more issues that you don't share here.
What you are in effect saying is that you would want a woman that would not care that you are "cheating" on your date? Is that right? Cuz that's what it is.
I still think you need a female wingman and I also think that when you ask for a phone number, you ask the woman if she really wants to see you again, or not. Just be honest...just say "look I've gotten phone numbers before from women that really have no intention of seeing me again, so are you giving me your number for the same reason or do you really want to see me again?" Or just ask for the coffee date right there and THEN get the number.
But if you want to keep getting "played" go with your statagy. Can't wait to hear how it didn't work.

Say,Michelle, I just found out today that I did have a "wingman" at that last dance. V....,one of the single ladies at my church,told me that when J...,the lady that I got the number from,told her and the lady friends that she had at the table,all about this "nice man" that she just danced with.She told her friends my name. When she said this to my friend,V...V said,"Oh, I know S...(me). I have know him for a while. He goes to my church." V..told me today that when said that, J...,eyes got real big,and that J had a big smile. V told me that she thought,"Oh,well she must like him(me). When I came to sit down next to J,after our secound dance,V moved over in order for me to sit next to J.That is when I asked J for her e-mail first(in order to appear less of a possible threat),THEN I asked her for her number. Later on that night V told me that we BOTH looked liked that we were interested in each other.
So...what I would like to know is.WHY are these women changing their minds? They SHOW all of the signs that they find me attractive. (I do dress well at these dances. Even some of the MEN tell me that I dress very well. Sometimes, I will have on a very nice Italian suit. I THINK that I may look like a Banker. But,some women, at the dances,approach me and they ask me,"Are you a Preacher?" I tell them the truth,which is "NO!") Then,after a couple of days, SOMETHING happens to their minds,and they change their minds about me.
Why are they always sending me mixed messages?Why are they being so flaky? NOW ,I am aslking for advice.What must I do to convince these women that I am being REAL? How can I convince them that I am not a con man? Do they not trust me because I am the one of the best dressed men there? I thought that dressing well would HELP me,not hurt me.

 

[blackribbon]

Ask "V"...do it in an email so she doesn't have to answer to your face...

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, It sounds like a good ting to ask them and not get guesses from the rest of us who weren't there and don't know any of them.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I live in California. Not bragging,but here are the facts. I get paid $45.00 per hour. By working a holiday, which I will volunteer to work,I will get paid double time,which comes out to $720.00 for one day's work! That is pre-tax,of course!

exit, for someone that is "not bragging" you sure do bring this up ALOT...just sayin

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Say,Michelle, I just found out today that I did have a "wingman" at that last dance. V....,one of the single ladies at my church,told me that when J...,the lady that I got the number from,told her and the lady friends that she had at the table,all about this "nice man" that she just danced with.She told her friends my name. When she said this to my friend,V...V said,"Oh, I know S...(me). I have know him for a while. He goes to my church." V..told me today that when said that, J...,eyes got real big,and that J had a big smile. V told me that she thought,"Oh,well she must like him(me). When I came to sit down next to J,after our secound dance,V moved over in order for me to sit next to J.That is when I asked J for her e-mail first(in order to appear less of a possible threat),THEN I asked her for her number. Later on that night V told me that we BOTH looked liked that we were interested in each other.
So...what I would like to know is.WHY are these women changing their minds? They SHOW all of the signs that they find me attractive. (I do dress well at these dances. Even some of the MEN tell me that I dress very well. Sometimes, I will have on a very nice Italian suit. I THINK that I may look like a Banker. But,some women, at the dances,approach me and they ask me,"Are you a Preacher?" I tell them the truth,which is "NO!") Then,after a couple of days, SOMETHING happens to their minds,and they change their minds about me.
Why are they always sending me mixed messages?Why are they being so flaky? NOW ,I am aslking for advice.What must I do to convince these women that I am being REAL? How can I convince them that I am not a con man? Do they not trust me because I am the one of the best dressed men there? I thought that dressing well would HELP me,not hurt me.

Dress more casual. Still nice, but not so over the top where they think you are a banker or a preacher (weird ends of the spectrum). Also if you have the woman's email, why don't you ask her???? Just be real man. Tell her that it seemed at the time that she was interested and now it seems to be different and you were just wondering WHY?
Is that so hard?
And I can guarantee that you will NEVER find the woman of your dreams be playing games. JMHO

 

[mjmcmillan]

The only girl you're likely to find by playing games is 14 years old, playing "World of Warcraft" that she got from her brother. Just sayin'. Either that, or if she's older she's handing you a loss on the tennis court. Otherwise, playing games to find women is a losing proposition.