Strategy Game

[exitstageright]

exit, for someone that is "not bragging" you sure do bring this up ALOT...just sayin

Well....MJ asked me how could I afford a $200 per hour escort,and I answered him with just the facts,maam. Yes,money is not everything. But at least I have success in one area of my life. In my romantic life, I am such a failure. One cannot be good at everything. I view financial success as the "Consulation Prize" in my life.

 

[dayhiker]

Its almost like quite a few here think one shouldn't talk about money and the like. How is one suppose to figure out how to make money of they don't know how others are making money. I love talking about to others who make money as I hope I'll learn something ...

I notice my last GF didn't feel comfortable with me talking about how I make and manage my money.

When I baby is born we all ewww and ahhh, but if a stock jumps and I sell for a nice profit, I shouldn't be excited! Even Jesus rewards the ones that had 5 and 10 fold gains.

So exit .. I don't see you bragging ... as you say just telling it the way it is.

 

[exitstageright]

Dress more casual. Still nice, but not so over the top where they think you are a banker or a preacher (weird ends of the spectrum). Also if you have the woman's email, why don't you ask her???? Just be real man. Tell her that it seemed at the time that she was interested and now it seems to be different and you were just wondering WHY?
Is that so hard?
And I can guarantee that you will NEVER find the woman of your dreams be playing games. JMHO

OK,I will just e-mail and ask her. I just hope that I do not appear to be clingy and/or needy.

I do not want to sound like:" PLEASE,plaese,why won't you go out with me? I NEED you so much! I got to get you into my life!"

 

[exitstageright]

Its almost like quite a few here think one shouldn't talk about money and the like. How is one suppose to figure out how to make money of they don't know how others are making money. I love talking about to others who make money as I hope I'll learn something ...

I notice my last GF didn't feel comfortable with me talking about how I make and manage my money.

When I baby is born we all ewww and ahhh, but if a stock jumps and I sell for a nice profit, I shouldn't be excited! Even Jesus rewards the ones that had 5 and 10 fold gains.

So exit .. I don't see you bragging ... as you say just telling it the way it is.

Thanks,Dayhiker. Just like Joe Friday on "Dragnet",I am giving" just the facts."

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

OK,I will just e-mail and ask her. I just hope that I do not appear to be clingy and/or needy.

I do not want to sound like:" PLEASE,plaese,why won't you go out with me? I NEED you so much! I got to get you into my life!"

Well if you don't SAY that in your email, she shouldn't take it that way. And IF she is mature, she will tell you the "why". Now I can't guarantee that she is mature, but in your email, you just need to be simple and casual just like I said. See, I'm (in case you haven't noticed) the blunt to the point, don't beat around the bush type. Of course it's different for me on the other side of the fence, because I would seem completely needy and desparate if I were to ask someone that "seemed" interested in me why they changed. BUT if I were to go out on a date with someone and they "seemed" interested and then I didn't hear from them, after a long period of time (like a few weeks or a month) I probably would email them and ask them what's up, cuz I would want to know for future reference. I can't be sure they would answer honestly and I SO wish this were not true because that's really what we need more of in this world is for people to just be honest. But sometimes I guess I am honest to a fault, cuz some people can't handle the truth (A Few Good Men, Jack Nicholson)

 

[exitstageright]

Well if you don't SAY that in your email, she shouldn't take it that way. And IF she is mature, she will tell you the "why". Now I can't guarantee that she is mature, but in your email, you just need to be simple and casual just like I said. See, I'm (in case you haven't noticed) the blunt to the point, don't beat around the bush type. Of course it's different for me on the other side of the fence, because I would seem completely needy and desparate if I were to ask someone that "seemed" interested in me why they changed. BUT if I were to go out on a date with someone and they "seemed" interested and then I didn't hear from them, after a long period of time (like a few weeks or a month) I probably would email them and ask them what's up, cuz I would want to know for future reference. I can't be sure they would answer honestly and I SO wish this were not true because that's really what we need more of in this world is for people to just be honest. But sometimes I guess I am honest to a fault, cuz some people can't handle the truth (A Few Good Men, Jack Nicholson)

I like that Jack Nicholson qoute. That is my sentiments exactly. Here is an e-mail I just composed. I have not sent it yet.I saved it for future use,in case that I may have to use it again. It is saved as,"What's Going On?" Do you remember Marvin Gaye's 1971 albunm? Well here it is:

How are you feeling today? Fine I hope.J…. we are adults.Therefore I am going to ask you point blank. What is going on with you? We had a great time at the dance.You even told me that it was great for you meeting me. We both enjoyed ourselves.We seemed to enjoy each others’ company. J… I was being REAL with you. I was not putting on an act.
You seemed interested in me. That is why I asked you for your number. Now I am asking,who or what changed your mind about me?

If you were not interested ,why,why,did you give me your number? I am a grown man. I am not a 16
Year old boy who would kill himself because a teenage girl rejected him. I do not
Appreciate,when a woman,who is NOT interested in me, just gives me her phone number, never returns my calls,hoping that I get the big HINT,that she is not interested in me. I do appreciate that my heart is being playing like a harp,just stringing me along.
So,either you are going to “fish or cut bait”. I just want to know.
What is going on?

End of e-mail. I would love some feed back from you or anyone,Thanking you in advance.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I like that Jack Nicholson qoute. That is my sentiments exactly. Here is an e-mail I just composed. I have not sent it yet.I saved it for future use,in case that I may have to use it again. It is saved as,"What's Going On?" Do you remember Marvin Gaye's 1971 albunm? Well here it is:

How are you feeling today? Fine I hope.J…. we are adults.Therefore I am going to ask you point blank. What is going on with you? We had a great time at the dance.You even told me that it was great for you meeting me. We both enjoyed ourselves.We seemed to enjoy each others’ company. J… I was being REAL with you. I was not putting on an act.
You seemed interested in me. That is why I asked you for your number. Now I am asking,who or what changed your mind about me?

If you were not interested ,why,why,did you give me your number? I am a grown man. I am not a 16
Year old boy who would kill himself because a teenage girl rejected him. I do not
Appreciate,when a woman,who is NOT interested in me, just gives me her phone number, never returns my calls,hoping that I get the big HINT,that she is not interested in me. I do appreciate that my heart is being playing like a harp,just stringing me along.
So,either you are going to “fish or cut bait”. I just want to know.
What is going on?

End of e-mail. I would love some feed back from you or anyone,Thanking you in advance.

OK wow. First off, the entire section that I bolded should be deleted. You sound angry and if she still has interest but had a good reason for "being busy" she won't be interested after reading that part. It's too much information and it is not necessary.
Secondly, the above parts I bolded. "What's going on with you?" sounds like an attack. How about changing it to "what happened?"
The second one, "I was being REAL with you I was not putting on an act" just get rid of that whole sentence. She isn't wondering if you were real and you don't need to include this. It could be taken as insulting as you are insinuating that she might THINK you weren't being REAL.
The third one, "who or what " changed your mind about me?" I would change to "Have you changed your mind about me? If so, can you tell me why?"

That's my opinion, take it or leave it. But if you leave the letter as you first wrote it, you will probably not hear back from her JMHO.

 

[exitstageright]

OK wow. First off, the entire section that I bolded should be deleted. You sound angry and if she still has interest but had a good reason for "being busy" she won't be interested after reading that part. It's too much information and it is not necessary.
Secondly, the above parts I bolded. "What's going on with you?" sounds like an attack. How about changing it to "what happened?"
The second one, "I was being REAL with you I was not putting on an act" just get rid of that whole sentence. She isn't wondering if you were real and you don't need to include this. It could be taken as insulting as you are insinuating that she might THINK you weren't being REAL.
The third one, "who or what " changed your mind about me?" I would change to "Have you changed your mind about me? If so, can you tell me why?"

That's my opinion, take it or leave it. But if you leave the letter as you first wrote it, you will probably not hear back from her JMHO. [/quote

Ok,I will take your advice. What gets me is that the dating advice on eharmony,women say that men do not write enough words. You tell me that I write too many words. My question is that in everything else in my life,I do things right. Why,when it comes to dealing with women ,that I always do things wrong? I was just telling her how I FEEL. I thought women WANT a man to tell her how he feels. You see, when a man tells a woman how he feels,and he gets PUT DOWN for sharing his feelings,that man is not going to want to share his feelings anymore,for fear of being PUT DOWN again. In case you did not know,the male EGO is VERY fragile,therefore,you must HANDLE with CARE. I hope that you got the point.

 

[dayhiker]

Exit, I agree with Michelle, that email was way wordy. Even putting words in her month with "We .. We.."

I might put an intro like "I thought we both enjoy the dancing and thought we were headed to another date. I'm curious if I read the situation correct or what changed?

I was at a dance Sat. night. A new lady there and I dance quite a few dances and seemed to dance together well. She was very polite, each time we took a break from dancin she thanked me. Then I see her walking out the door to leave without a good bye! Surprised me a little. Any way it was still a very good night of dancing!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

telling a woman how you feel AFTER you know her is OK but you don't really know this gal YET and if you want to get to that point you can't put all those feelings in an email. It's hard enough to read the written word let alone dicipher feelings. That's all I'm sayin. Didn't mean to step on your ego bro

 

[exitstageright]

telling a woman how you feel AFTER you know her is OK but you don't really know this gal YET and if you want to get to that point you can't put all those feelings in an email. It's hard enough to read the written word let alone dicipher feelings. That's all I'm sayin. Didn't mean to step on your ego bro

That is quite alright. NO ONE has ever told me that I should never tell a woman how I feel about her BEFORE we get to know each other. My parents failed me in this area.Therefore,I should tell a woman how I feel AFTER we get to know each other. I just hope that she forgives me.
I met a woman from Philly,who told me that AFTER her ex-husband choked her,she FORGAVE him,and went back to him. Yet, this SAME WOMAN would not forgive ME for ordering catsup to be put on her hotdog! I have never choked or did anything that bad to a woman. But,when I make a mistake,by saying or writing the wrong thing, or by doing the wrong thing,I am never forgiven! Women do not give me a secound chance,like they give other men. Why should I even bother to say,"I am sorry",when it does me no good? Women expect me to NEVER get angry,to NEVER raise my voice,and to NEVER show any weaknesess.

 

[exitstageright]

Exit, I agree with Michelle, that email was way wordy. Even putting words in her month with "We .. We.."

I might put an intro like "I thought we both enjoy the dancing and thought we were headed to another date. I'm curious if I read the situation correct or what changed?

I was at a dance Sat. night. A new lady there and I dance quite a few dances and seemed to dance together well. She was very polite, each time we took a break from dancin she thanked me. Then I see her walking out the door to leave without a good bye! Surprised me a little. Any way it was still a very good night of dancing!

BUT....but,I thought that one should not use the word "I" too much.

You DO have a great point about me saying that I was curious if I read the situation correctly and what had changed her mind.

 

[exitstageright]

Well if you don't SAY that in your email, she shouldn't take it that way. And IF she is mature, she will tell you the "why". Now I can't guarantee that she is mature, but in your email, you just need to be simple and casual just like I said. See, I'm (in case you haven't noticed) the blunt to the point, don't beat around the bush type. Of course it's different for me on the other side of the fence, because I would seem completely needy and desparate if I were to ask someone that "seemed" interested in me why they changed. BUT if I were to go out on a date with someone and they "seemed" interested and then I didn't hear from them, after a long period of time (like a few weeks or a month) I probably would email them and ask them what's up, cuz I would want to know for future reference. I can't be sure they would answer honestly and I SO wish this were not true because that's really what we need more of in this world is for people to just be honest. But sometimes I guess I am honest to a fault, cuz some people can't handle the truth (A Few Good Men, Jack Nicholson)

She e-mailed me this evening. This is what she had to say.

I had second thoughts after the dance. I am sorry that I wasn't more straight forward.
Wish you the best,

end of qoute,now why did it take her 35 freakin days for her to tell me that,instead of playing this waiting game? You see,this is what happends when you wait. If she had told me this on March 23,I would not have wasted my time inviting her to different functions.
Well.....as we said in the Navy,..."Man,that is f...... up!"

 

[exitstageright]

She e-mailed me this evening. This is what she had to say.

I had second thoughts after the dance. I am sorry that I wasn't more straight forward.
Wish you the best,

end of qoute,now why did it take her 35 freakin days for her to tell me that,instead of playing this waiting game? You see,this is what happends when you wait. If she had told me this on March 23,I would not have wasted my time inviting her to different functions.
Well.....as we said in the Navy,..."Man,that is f...... up!"

I asked her why did she have second thoughts. Here is what she wrote:
Mon, April 23, 2012 7:36:16 PM
Re: What's Going On?








S...... please just let it go. I have not dated anyone since my divorce and I just had second thoughts.

End of qoute.










Well.I am just going to leave her...... ALONE.
I will just act like an Ice Hockey player,and just get the PUCK out!

By the way,she DID NOT forgive me for writing the original e-mail. What did I tell you?
I rest my case. She is living proof that WOMEN DO NOT FORGIVE ME!
They will forgive a crimminal,an abuser,or a bum,BUT..... NOT....... ME!

 

[Humble Pie]

It sounds like she was just out testing the waters but she's gone back into her shell.

 

[blackribbon]

I met a woman from Philly,who told me that AFTER her ex-husband choked her,she FORGAVE him,and went back to him. Yet, this SAME WOMAN would not forgive ME for ordering catsup to be put on her hotdog! I have never choked or did anything that bad to a woman. But,when I make a mistake,by saying or writing the wrong thing, or by doing the wrong thing,I am never forgiven! Women do not give me a secound chance,like they give other men. .

She forgave him because she already loved him. Your relationship obviously had not got to the point of love. (FYI: Women will do very stupid thing when they think they love someone.)

 

[blackribbon]

She backed out when she decided she wasn't interested. She didn't accept any of your invitations in hopes you would get the hint because she obviously she isn't strong enough to say it directly.

I'd say she was wasting your time if she let you take her out and spend your money and time when she wasn't interested. I'm not sure why you consider your time "wasted". What else would you have done with it? ...and why didn't you? You did not have any sort of real relationship with this woman at any point...

You are scarey at times...too desperate to jump into a relationship and not willing to give it time to grow naturally....I'm sure this shows. Also, women talk...to each other...about the men they have spent time with...so what you say to one woman might be used by another woman when she is deciding who she might be interested in.

The best advice I heard given to a young boy is to be nice to the "ugly" girls...because they might turn out to be beauties in a few years. Expand this into adulthood, and be nice to the women you aren't interested in because they might be friends with the one you are interested in.

AND IF she is recently divorced...this may have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!...it may be all about her own personal demons... There is a big difference between hanging out with a man in a group setting and actually contemplating spending time alone with him. It sounds like she realized that she wasn't ready yet...and by turning this into a personal thing, you won't be on the list of people to consider when she is ready....(and this could be tomorrow or a year from tomorrow).

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I asked her why did she have second thoughts. Here is what she wrote:
Mon, April 23, 2012 7:36:16 PM
Re: What's Going On?








S...... please just let it go. I have not dated anyone since my divorce and I just had second thoughts.

End of qoute.










Well.I am just going to leave her...... ALONE.
I will just act like an Ice Hockey player,and just get the PUCK out!

By the way,she DID NOT forgive me for writing the original e-mail. What did I tell you?
I rest my case. She is living proof that WOMEN DO NOT FORGIVE ME!
They will forgive a crimminal,an abuser,or a bum,BUT..... NOT....... ME!

WHAT original email? Did you originally send the one without taking out the parts we discussed?

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

She backed out when she decided she wasn't interested. She didn't accept any of your invitations in hopes you would get the hint because she obviously she isn't strong enough to say it directly.

I'd say she was wasting your time if she let you take her out and spend your money and time when she wasn't interested. I'm not sure why you consider your time "wasted". What else would you have done with it? ...and why didn't you? You did not have any sort of real relationship with this woman at any point...

You are scarey at times...too desperate to jump into a relationship and not willing to give it time to grow naturally....I'm sure this shows. Also, women talk...to each other...about the men they have spent time with...so what you say to one woman might be used by another woman when she is deciding who she might be interested in.

The best advice I heard given to a young boy is to be nice to the "ugly" girls...because they might turn out to be beauties in a few years. Expand this into adulthood, and be nice to the women you aren't interested in because they might be friends with the one you are interested in.

AND IF she is recently divorced...this may have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!...it may be all about her own personal demons... There is a big difference between hanging out with a man in a group setting and actually contemplating spending time alone with him. It sounds like she realized that she wasn't ready yet...and by turning this into a personal thing, you won't be on the list of people to consider when she is ready....(and this could be tomorrow or a year from tomorrow).

Bravo!!! I wish we had a clapping smilie . I totally agree that it probably did not have much to do with you.....until you wouldn't let it go. It probably had alot more to do with HER. Even though my husband is no longer on this earth, it would be hard for me to become involved in another relationship because I still kinda feel "married". And with divorce, the ex IS still on the earth and there is alot of emotion (as you know) so I say she just wasn't ready, but whenever she is, you probably won't be on her list. But seriously you must stop this idea that EVERY woman...blah blah blah to YOU because there are other people in the universe besides you and it's not all about you. You are only looking at things from your perspective. Take yourself out of the equation and don't stop trying, just stop trying so hard.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

She e-mailed me this evening. This is what she had to say.

I had second thoughts after the dance. I am sorry that I wasn't more straight forward.
Wish you the best,

end of qoute,now why did it take her 35 freakin days for her to tell me that,instead of playing this waiting game? You see,this is what happends when you wait. If she had told me this on March 23,I would not have wasted my time inviting her to different functions.
Well.....as we said in the Navy,..."Man,that is f...... up!"

It took her 35 freakin days because she probably is a nice woman that doesn't like to hurt people and she's new to this since she is recently divorced. It probably took her awhile to know what to say or what to do. So when she finally realized she wasn't ready for sure, she emailed. But how many functions did you invite her to?