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Featured Still angry

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Lybrah, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. Ancient of Days

    Ancient of Days Active Member Supporter

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    No its not out of context, it says what it says. Maybe you just cant admit fault, I understand. And maybe your resistance to his word is because you haven't truly forgiven. Forgetting what is behind means just that. Verses in scripture can have more than one application in life. "cherry picking" Come on, I just used which scripture was applicable.
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2017
  2. thesunisout

    thesunisout growing in grace Supporter

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    It's really hard to be angry at someone you are praying for. My suggestion would be to daily pray for the people who hurt you and I believe you will find that your heart will start to change as you do this.
     
  3. mukk_in

    mukk_in Yagna Mukkamala Supporter

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    Have to let go, sis. God will not make that decision for you. You have to forgive. Please do so now and be at peace with yourself. Peace in Christ :).
     
  4. Tom Farebrother

    Tom Farebrother Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Anger and hatred are not the same thing, that’s true in how the scriptures define the 2 also. There are quite a few examples of Jesus getting intensely angry. Bullying is unjust, and it’s natural to feel angry about it. I’d suggest praying to find a way to channel that anger rather than switch it off. You can’t dissolve yourself away until you feel nothing, but anger about injustice can provide energy you can put into something. God is able to guide you into using it in some way (Romans 8:28)
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2017
  5. Bible Believing Gentiles

    Bible Believing Gentiles New Member

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    You have to submit to God's judgement over their sin. I've been beaten up to, I know how it feels. But when Jesus was hanging on the cross with people all around cursing and laughing at Him, He said "Father forgive them, they know not what they do"

    Is your judgment more righteous than God's?
     
  6. Drifter Kybe Scythe Kane

    Drifter Kybe Scythe Kane New Member

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    i can relate. such things are even as we speak, lucifer does these prayers i'm sure for such things to happen to move through our spiritual and mental selves unopposed. perhaps that's a part which basically pillaged most of my home...of my mind metaphorically speaking and put my loved control over my own mind to the effect of such prayers of lucifer himself maybe even but also in a negative way of course.
     
  7. Zoii

    Zoii Well-Known Member

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    If they have been bullies, and still are, then why do you need to forgive them. You of course need to help yourself, but why do bullies deserve forgiveness especially when they do not express regret
     
  8. Sarah G

    Sarah G Human bean. Supporter

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    You are still hurting and suffering from all that trauma. Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for getting mad and for being afraid of it happening again. Your feelings are a natural response to the trauma of being bullied. Accept all the love and mercy God has for you. Once you are healed from the hurt then you will be able to let go and forgive. You're not perfect and that's okay, God loves you as you are. Keep on with the counselling and give yourself as long as you need to heal. Don't judge yourself for having normal, human emotions :twohearts:
     
  9. Drifter Kybe Scythe Kane

    Drifter Kybe Scythe Kane New Member

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    i agree, you must deal with them in your own way as long as it's not a sin like violence. pray as well i suppose but remember keep humility about you. there's two paths you can deal with people in your own way if you have not met them but could be potential friendships abound with them-pick on them in terms of authority that way or be friendly towards them so you can get friendship and respect. go with the second of course.
     
  10. Tom Farebrother

    Tom Farebrother Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Right. Hatred is a sin, anger isn’t- like everyone else, you just need to be careful that your anger doesn’t lead you into sin. Don’t deny your feelings, you’re a person, just ask God for guidance in negotiating them. Check out a few different translations of Psalm 4:4, you might find that useful.
     
  11. Emmy

    Emmy Senior Veteran

    +788
    Salvation Army
    Dear Lybrah. If you really want to forget something, give it to the Lord, and ask Him to take it away for ever. You will find that Jesus has taken it away. Keep asking and believing, Jesus will take that terrible memory away for ever. Keep asking and believing, Jesus will take those recurring thoughts away. Just keep giving them to Jesus, Satan has no chance to keep upsetting you, give those thoughts to Jesus, He will take them away. Jesus died that we might live, and Jesus is our Saviour. All we have to do, is to be loving and forgiving, that is what God wants from Us. In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells us" On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets, to love is to overcome all evils and ill behaviour.
    The Bible tells us: give up all selfish wishes and wants, Love God and love your neighbour, is what our Heavenly Father wants from us. Let us all try to be as God wants us to be, Loving and forgiving. Satan will run away from all loving and praying. Try it, Lybrah, Jesus died that we might live. I say this with love, Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.
     
  12. GirdYourLoins

    GirdYourLoins Well-Known Member

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    You need to do a discipleship course in freedom. I recently did a study under the name of Soul Ties which I think is just a new buzzword for chains to the past which need to be broken., You can google soul ties and get the stuff on it fairly easy. By breaking the chains to the past you can free yourself from a lot of the hurt and abuse of the past. Its a journey we are on and we need to go through the a lot of things like this a number of times unless you are blessed with a miraculous instant healing of it. Each time God goes a bit deeper and, to use the old metaphor, scoops out a bit more and goes deeper in removing the hurt.

    I have done this again recently and found a new level in freedom from the past. Another step on the road to complete healing.

    My past to put it in context is that my dad was violent and verbally abusive. I was the youngest of 3 brothers so go beaten up by my dad and brothers and told I was worthless , would never amount to anything and should never have been born. He had driven my mum out by the time I was 4 and threatened to kill all of us if she got custody of us so she left us with him as she knew he was capable of it. My whole childhood daily verbal abuse with no positive input and the constant threat of violence every day and actual violence a few times a week. This left me unable to deal with confrontation and I got bullied at school and then later at work.

    I now realise a lot of what I thought was bullying at work was related to my inability to cope with criticism. When I was given negative feedback on something I needed to improve it felt like they were having a go at me. Sometimes they were and at other times it was my perception that they were when it was not intended to be. Then there are alays those people around who will prey on anyone "weaker" than they are. It makes them feel big by belittling other people and they should be ignored, or even pitied for having this need which is one of the most ungodly spirits in a person I have ever come across. Either way I could not cope with criticism or bullying then. Now I am far better at dealing with negative situations and while constant criticism gets me down I feel I am far closer to normal than I used to be, but still a work in progress in my mid-40's.

    I can see there are a lot of comments on here from people who have of understanding what it is like to go through childhood abuse. While I am sure they mean well, its clear from their comments that they dont know what it's like to deal with recovering from something like this and as such they are not best placed to provide advice. Its easy to say to forgive them, but do they have any idea what its like to live with the psychological scars from a childhood of abuse? From experiences that shape who you are as a person? From the memories of everything that happened?

    It's easy for them to say to forgive the abusers, but its not that easy. What you need to do is decide that you want to forgive the abusers. The way I look at it is that you need to let go of the unforgiveness you have for them. That slight change in perspective makes it easier, letting go of what you are holding on to that is damaging for you. Once you have made that decision and genuinely want to let go of your unforgivingness pray about it and ask God to work through it with you. Years of abuse can need years to get to completely forgiving someone, but it starts with the choice to do it. You will find you forgive them only to pick up unforgiveness again at some points when something bad happens, its natural to do that. When it does happen, don't beat yourself up over it, but make the decision that you dont want it and keep trying to move forward with God's help.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2017
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  13. GirdYourLoins

    GirdYourLoins Well-Known Member

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    oops, accidental did reply instead of edit when I was changing something.
     
  14. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

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    I'm not sure that's what I would have wanted if I'm the one who did wrong.

    I did a lot of wrongs in my life, especially to people. When I realized later in life I felt so bad for a while. Being blessed is the last thing I have in my mind. I want be punished. I need to learn from my mistakes.

    And I did get punished, some people would call it Karma. My punishment did me good. I learned so clearly from my mistakes and it taught me the Truth. Have I been blessed despite of all the bad things I did, I would have remained in the dark.

    Perhaps, in the end my punishment turned out to be a blessing.... But we need to think about these things. Just trying to bring a clear perspective in this case.

    People need to know the truth. If people get rewarded from doing bad things, that teaches them the wrong message that evil deeds lead to profit and abundance. That's not what we should teach.
     
  15. Grandliseur

    Grandliseur New Member

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    I am sorry but as a man, I don't see how my counsel could assist you. Could you find a place where predominately women would assist you?!
    People usually do not bully me more than once or twice for good reason.

    The only thing I can think of that might assist you is use one of the modern phones. They can record video and voice. Do this when bullied and present your boss or management with evidence of this. That usually helps since nobody likes to create a workplace where violence may take place.

    Have it ready if you know the situation is going to develop so that this can be done without others knowing. Voice recording might be available for a fairly long period of time.
     
  16. discipler7

    discipler7 Active Member

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    Fyi, MATTHEW.5:43 = ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ still applies to Christians, so too for MATTHEW.5:27 = ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ and MATTHEW.5:21 = ‘You shall not murder,'.
    ... Only difference for the New Covenant is that we cannot rely on the keeping of the Law for our salvation, ie to be saved from hell when we die, we need to have faith/trust in Jesus the Saviour Christ/Messiah.(JOHN.3:16)
    ... The Pharisees and Jews rejected Jesus as their Saviour Christ/Messiah.(cf; JOHN.6:15) They thought that the Law could continue to save them. If you too want to be like the Pharisees, then you will need to "love your enemies", "pluck out your eyes and chop off your limbs, "turn the other cheek", etc, in order to be saved from hell without Jesus.(cf; ROMANS.12:19-21)

    See also ROMANS.9:13 and HOSEA.9:15.

    So, please do not foolishly go and "love your enemies".
    ... Learn to love yourself first, then love God and your neighbours/friends. Do not avenge yourself but pray to God if your enemy is powerful, eg your superiors or company executives or government officers.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2017
  17. MissRowy

    MissRowy 100% nerdy Staff Member Purple Team - Moderator Supporter Recovery Team Angels Team

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    What I will suggest is that you go to a lake or beach and pick up a stone or something like that and centre your feelings on that stone. Put all that anger, sadness and hurt into that stone and just hurl it into the water.
    And if you need to talk I am here.
     
  18. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
  19. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

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    I think we wrongly understand what Matthew 5:44 really means. Blessing in the Bible have been mostly in the context of the Gospel or the Truth, the Word, the Bread of life. To possess the knowledge and application of it is the blessing.

    To bless our enemies which would be to bring them knowledge of the truth. The wages of sin is death, not smiles and well-wishes....

    To love our enemy who is about to fall off a cliff, you don't tell them "I love you", you tell them to "turn around!!"

    Go figure why Jesus fashioned a whip of chords and violently drove away the merchants at the Temple....
     
  20. GandalfTheWise

    GandalfTheWise In search of lost causes and hopeless battles

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    There are two concepts here: forgiveness and reconciliation.

    All injuries (whether spiritual, emotional, or physical) that happen to us (whether intentional or unintentional or caused through well-meaning or malicious motives) hurt and cause us pain. Depending on the depth of the injury and pain, sometimes it can remain deeply embedded in our heart and soul, causing us pain and renewed trauma every time we are reminded of it. This needs to be dealt with.

    The point of forgiveness is our unilateral dealing with the injury and resulting pain for our own good. As long as we remain angry and hurt, we are still in bondage to what happened to us. That person and what they did still has a strong grip on us. It is not until we are healed and forgive that person that we are free from it. As long as we lay awake at night thinking about it, or get a knot in our stomach whenever we are reminded of a person or see them, or suffer long term changes in personality due to what happened, we are in bondage. Forgiveness and healing sets us free from that. We'll still have scars that are reminders of the experience we've gained from what we went through. However, we will not have active festering wounds that are sucking the life from us. Scars are the result of healed wounds. It is not that we "forget" what happened (in other words try to ignore it and pretend it didn't happen). We acknowledge it; deal with it; find healing and forgiveness; and then move forward and leave it behind. Sometimes this is little more than a choice to do so; sometimes it is a process that takes some effort and assistance and time.

    Reconciliation is re-establishing some form of relationship with the person who hurt us. Sometimes this is possible; sometimes it is not. Sometimes it is best never to be around some people ever again (especially if they have not changed). Sometimes a relationship can be rebuilt. Forgiving someone does NOT mean pretending nothing happened. Forgiveness does NOT mean we automatically immediately extend trust again. Trust is something that is earned by consistent trustworthy behavior over time; it is not something we "give" someone. Depending on the prior relationship we had, it may or may not be wise to pursue a renewed relationship. If it is a repentant spouse that had a brief affair, it is often well worth working through reconciliation to rebuild a marriage. If it is a fight with a family member, it could be well worth the effort to rebuild the relationship. If it is a narcissistic coworker who constantly belittles everyone and shows no signs of changing, it's probably best to have as few interactions as possible. This is something best decided on a case by case basis and may vary over time as people change. A reconciliation might be possible years later that isn't now.

    Reconciliation requires some degree of change on the part of the person who hurt us. If they do not acknowledge wrong or change in some manner so that the injury (or another one) will not be repeated, we should set boundaries and keep our distance. Forgiveness does NOT mean we give them the opportunity to repeatedly hurt us. Forgiveness does NOT mean that they "deserve" it or are worthy of being forgiven or that nothing happened. Forgiveness is about deciding to leave what happened in the past so it is not a continued drag on the present or future.
     
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