You need to do a discipleship course in freedom. I recently did a study under the name of Soul Ties which I think is just a new buzzword for chains to the past which need to be broken., You can google soul ties and get the stuff on it fairly easy. By breaking the chains to the past you can free yourself from a lot of the hurt and abuse of the past. Its a journey we are on and we need to go through the a lot of things like this a number of times unless you are blessed with a miraculous instant healing of it. Each time God goes a bit deeper and, to use the old metaphor, scoops out a bit more and goes deeper in removing the hurt.
I have done this again recently and found a new level in freedom from the past. Another step on the road to complete healing.
My past to put it in context is that my dad was violent and verbally abusive. I was the youngest of 3 brothers so go beaten up by my dad and brothers and told I was worthless , would never amount to anything and should never have been born, etc, etc. He had driven my mum out by the time I was 4 and threatened to kill all of us if she got custody of us so she left us with him as she knew he was capable of it. My whole childhood daily verbal abuse with no positive input and the constant threat of violence every day and actual violence a few times a week. This left me unable to deal with confrontation and I got bullied at school and then later at work.
I now realise a lot of what I thought was bullying at work was related to my inability to cope with criticism. When I was given negative feedback on something I needed to improve it felt like they were having a go at me. Sometimes they were and at other times it was my perception that they were when it was not intended to be. Then there are alays those people around who will prey on anyone "weaker" than they are. It makes them feel big by belittling other people and they should be ignored, or even pitied for having this need which is one of the most ungodly spirits in a person I have ever come across. Either way I could not cope with criticism or bullying then. Now I am far better at dealing with negative situations and while constant criticism gets me down I feel I am far closer to normal than I used to be, but still a work in progress in my mid-40's.
I can see there are a lot of comments on here from people who have of understanding what it is like to go through childhood abuse. While I am sure they mean well, its clear from their comments that they dont know what it's like to deal with recovering from something like this and as such they are not best placed to provide advice. Its easy to say to forgive them, but do they have any idea what its like to live with the psychological scars from a childhood of abuse? From experiences that shape who you are as a person? From the memories of everything that happened?
It's easy for them to say to forgive the abusers, but its not that easy. What you need to do is decide that you want to forgive the abusers. The way I look at it is that you need to let go of the unforgiveness you have for them. That slight change in perspective makes it easier, letting go of what you are holding on to that is damaging for you. Once you have made that decision and genuinely want to let go of your unforgivingness pray about it and ask God to work through it with you. Years of abuse can need years to get to completely forgiving someone, but it starts with the choice to do it. You will find you forgive them only to pick up unforgiveness again at some points when something bad happens, its natural to do that. When it does happen, don't beat yourself up over it, but make the decision that you dont want it and keep trying to move forward with God's help.