I just thought that I would post an update, if anyone is interested:
It turns out that BOTH my husband and I have Asperger's syndrome (high functioning autism). I got myself diagnosed in the fall, he's undiagnosed but his therapist agree's that he has it and has been somewhat trying to treat him for it (he's not really qualified but my husband won't see anyone else). My husband also has dependent personality disorder, which most likely developed as he was trying to cope with undiagnosed autism throughout his life. Immediately after we learned of this, our sons pediatrician referred him for an autism evaluation, which is really no surprise, being that it's genetic. He's still on the waiting list, but at this point he's 18 months old, non verbal, developmentally delayed and in early intervention with 3 different kinds of therapists. We're expecting a diagnosis of classic autism.
This explains all of the issues that I had with my husband not living up to his commitments to do things around the house. It's called "executive dysfunction" and it comes along with autism (and other disorders). It's basically the inability to function independently without help.
I can't say that things are much better between us, but at least I have some answers. My son requires ALOT of care, advocacy, therapy, etc. and it's all fallen on my shoulders.
I've also been trying to sell our house, completely alone, since August. We haven't had any offers, but I have a plan in place, and as soon as the house sells, the wheels will start turning and we'll be on our way out of this region.
At the very least, Asperger's can often come with extreme intellectual gifts. This is the case for my husband, and I am thankful that I don't have to worry about him finding work after we move (he's an engineer).
I did manage to make a small group of friends. They're women who also have Asperger's syndrome. They are not Christians, and I don't want to get too close to them, but it's helping with the isolation for now. I'm trying to find a support group for parents of autistic children - I think that will all come once he's officially diagnosed (in March).
Anyway...I just wanted to stop by here and update everyone, because you all were such a tremendous help 6+ months ago when I was trying to figure out what on earth was going on. I thought you might be interested to know what the surprising conclusion was.
I'm still trying to cope with the fact that I've been diagnosed with a form of autism, but I'm not surprised, now that I've learned what it is. In the end, it's not even that big of a deal because I'm still the same person that I was before.
I think that I might write a book about my crazy life someday
